The elevator reached the main floor, and Max and 99 got out and hustled along the corridor toward the front door.
“I just hope we’re in time,” 99 fretted. “The post office is only across the street. By now, he could have mailed his letter, or whatever he had in mind, and wandered off to somewhere else.”
“Did I by any chance mention the phrase ‘Through wind and rain and dark of night?’ ” Max said, preoccupied. “As I recall, that has something to do with the post office. I think it’s the excuse they use when they don’t get the mail delivered on time.”
“Max! Look!”
They had reached the front door and 99 was pointing toward the post office across the street. Professor von BOOM had just emerged and was descending the steps.
“Just in the nick of time,” 99 said, greatly relieved. “If we’d been a minute later, Max, we might have missed him.” She started out the door.
“Hold it!” Max said, putting a hand on 99’s arm, stopping her. “See those two men a few steps behind the Professor? I think they’re tailing him.”
“But, Max, look at their uniforms-they’re letter carriers.”
“Exactly what they want us to think, 99. But notice how lively they’re stepping. Doesn’t that strike you as somewhat suspicious?”
“You’re right, Max. A real letter carrier plods, doesn’t he?”
“And for good reason,” Max agreed.
“Yes-all that walking he does, day in and day out.”
“That’s not the reason, 99. The reason is that he wants to delay all the important letters as long as he can. Haven’t you ever heard the post office slogan-The mail must go through?”
“But, Max-”
“The complete slogan is: The mail must go through a long series of intentional delays in order to make sure that important letters do not get delivered until days after they’re expected, thus driving the intended recipient out of his ever lovin’ mind and making him more appreciative of his fine postal service when the letter finally is delivered.”
“I can understand why they shortened it,” 99 said. “But, Max, if those men in uniform aren’t letter carriers, what are they? Do you think-”
“KAOS agents, 99. No doubt about it. As you can see, they’re rapidly closing in on Professor von BOOM. Within seconds, they will probably grab him from behind, drag him into a waiting limousine (black), and speed away with him to their hideout.”
“Max! We have to do something!”
“Do we really, 99? Frankly, that sounds pretty exciting. I’d like to see it.”
“Max, remember. . duty!”
“Oh, yes. . that. Duty can certainly spoil some fun times, can’t it, 99.” He gestured resignedly. “Oh, well. . Let’s go, 99. You take the KAOS agent on the left, and I’ll take the KAOS agent on the right. Unless, of course, you have a preference. If you’d rather have the KAOS agent on the right, I wouldn’t mind at all taking the KAOS agent on the left.”
“I’m not particular, Max. But shouldn’t we hurry?”
“Haste makes waste, 99. First, let’s get a decision on which KAOS agent belongs to who. We’d feel pretty silly if we rushed over there and both grabbed the KAOS agent on the left, and the KAOS agent on the right, in the ensuing melee, got away. Or, vice-versa, if we rushed over there and both grabbed the KAOS agent on the right, and-”
“I’ll take the one on the left, Max,” 99 said wearily.
“I just hope, 99, that, on the way, you won’t take advantage of the woman’s prerogative to change her mind. If you did, and decided to switch to the KAOS agent on the-”
“Max! They’ve grabbed Professor von BOOM!”
“There are a lot of people who haven’t heard the old saying, ‘Haste makes waste,’ ” Max said. “Those KAOS agents, for example, probably haven’t the slightest notion that they’re bungling this.”
99 rushed through the doorway. “Max, hurry!”
“Coming, 99!”
Max and 99 dashed from headquarters, worked their way through the passers-by, and darted out into the street. At that same moment, they heard the ear-splitting roar of an engine. Max halted, stopping 99, too.
“Max! What is it?”
“Did you hear that? It must be some kind of a warning.”
“Warning? Warning?” 99 said frantically. “What kind of a warning?”
“You’ll notice, 99, that we’re crossing in the middle of the block. We should have gone to the corner.”
“But, Max, if we’d- Max!” She suddenly pointed. Max looked in the direction she was indicating and discovered the source of the ear-splitting sound. A huge mail truck was bearing down on them, its engine roaring.
“Uh-huh,” Max smiled knowingly. “It fits the picture very neatly. You understand, of course, what’s happening.”
“Well. . I can sort of guess,” 99 said. “I think we’re going to be run down. Is that right, Max?”
“I’m afraid you’re indulging in some very shallow thinking, 99,” Max said. “There’s a great deal more to it than that. In fact, what we’re involved in here is a typical example of the KAOS modus operandi.”
“Really, Max?” 99 said interestedly. “What does that mean?”
“Modus operandi, 99, is Latin for ‘the way they do it.’ The Roman cops, back in ancient times, used the phrase a lot. After they figured out how a crime was committed, they would refer to the method as the modus operandi. One cop, for instance, would say to another cop, ‘How did they do it?’ And the other cop would reply, ‘modus operandi.’ ”
“Max, that truck is getting much closer.”
“Of course, 99. It’s all part of the plan. When those KAOS agents spotted the Professor at the post office and decided to abduct him, they realized that the odds were that they would have to contend with you and me. So, they plotted to knock us out of the action. They sent one of their men to hijack a mail truck, and then to wait, with the engine running, until he saw us come out of headquarters. His task, at that point, would be to run us down.”
“That’s amazing, Max!”
“Elementary, 99. The fact that that truck is bearing down on us, and the fact that I recognize the man behind the wheel as a KAOS agent, makes the deduction fairly obvious.”
“Shouldn’t we step back to the curb, Max?”
“Let’s consider the consequences. If we do step back to the curb, that truck will pass by us just as the limousine arrives. Our view of the scene of the crime at that specific moment will be obscured. And, as a result, we will be unable to get the license number of the limousine.”
“But, on the other hand, Max-”
“Yes. . on the other hand. On the other hand, if we don’t step back to the curb, it seems very likely that we’ll be run down and killed. Although, without having handy the actual statistics on the results of accidents involving trucks and pedestrians, I wouldn’t want to commit myself on that. There’s a chance that we might come out of it only maimed for life.”
“Max, if we’re going to vote on this, I think I’ll cast my ballot for stepping back to the curb.”
“Haste makes waste, 99. I think I have a preferable solution.” He pulled his pistol from his shoulder holster. “What KAOS didn’t reckon on,” he said, “was my crack marksmanship. Now, watch this carefully, 99,” he said, aiming the pistol in the direction of the oncoming truck. “See that bright metal badge on the driver’s cap? I’m going to aim the bullet so that it strikes that badge at just the right angle and ricochets. The force of the impact will stun the driver and in a state of unconsciousness he will remove his foot from the accelerator.”
“I see. And that will stop the truck. But how will that help Professor von BOOM, Max?”
“After hitting the badge,” Max continued, “the bullet will veer off and strike that metal foot-scraper at the bottom of the post office steps. Once again, it will ricochet. It will then pass through the right wrist of the KAOS agent on the left, making him drop his gun, and then through the fleshy calf of the right leg of the KAOS agent on the right, forcing him to fall, and, in the tumble, drop his gun.”