"Well, Jim, I wouldn't worry about that if I were you - "
"You are not me and I am worried and answer the question or I will kill you slowly first chance I have. Speaking of killing… " I found that I couldn't go on.
"I meant it when I said don't worry. The threat of the thirty-day poison is over."
"You have the antidote?"
"No. But the thirty days are past. Two days ago!"
"Past!! Then I'm dead!"
But I wasn't dead. My brain spluttered and clanked and slipped back into gear. Thirty days past. No antidote. I was alive. I could hear my teeth grating as I spoke.
"Then the thirty-day poison - the whole thing was a fake from the start, wasn't it?"
"I am afraid that it was, and I do apologize. But you must realize that I did not know about it until now. Only one person had that information, the instigator of the operation."
"Admiral Benbow!"
"I'm afraid that information is not mine to reveal."
"You don't have to - it reveals itself. That lawyer who gave me the drink was just doing as directed. Lawyers will do anything if you pay them enough. Benbow was in charge and Benbow invented the poison plot to keep me in line."
"Perhaps, Jim, perhaps." His voice, even when transmitted through the agency of a plastic dog, reeked of insincerity and equivocation. "But there is nothing we can do about it now. A thing of the past. Best forgotten. Correct?"
I nodded and thought - then smiled. "Correct, Admiral. Why don't we just forget about the whole thing. All's well that ends well and tomorrow is another day. Forget it."
For now, I thought to myself, but did not speak that important little codicil aloud.
"I'm glad you understand, Jim. No hard feelings then."
I dropped the dog, turned and clapped Floyd happily on the shoulder, bent and picked up the replacement artifact.
"We did it, Floyd, we did it. I will explain everything as we walk. In great detail. But as you can see we are free, in possession of this artifact. Mission accomplished. Now - lead on, faithful Fido, since you have memorized the entrance-and-exit path. But go slowly, for it really has been one of those days."
I was hungry and thirsty. But even more thirsty for - what? Revenge? No, revenge was a dead end. If not vengeance - what then?
The time had come for a little evening up, a little sorting out of the record. I had been taken in completely by the poisonous con job. So before the last I was dotted, before the last alien artifact laid to rest, I was going to see that a little justice got done.
On my terms.
Chapter 27
"Carry this for a bit, will you Floyd," I said, passing over the replacement temporooter. We were leaving the last lit tunnel behind and would depend now on Aida to remember the way. "I'm a little on the tired side."
"I don't wonder. But you have to understand - my patience has just run out. So work hard and see if you can dig up enough energy to tell me just what happened. I am now completely confused. I remember that I wasted the Killerbot with that gun you now have tucked into your belt, the one Fido brought to me. Then I jumped through the door and told you to get down so I could blast the Commander as well as anyone else who was looking for trouble."
"That's just the way I remember it."
Fido barked and turned a corner from one dark tunnel into another even darker one. Floyd sounded worried.
"I remember pulling the trigger - then suddenly you are holding the gun, not me, and right next to me there are two creatures, people, robots, something like that. I blink and look into the lab and everyone is standing like they are frozen. Nothing moves - but nothing. Then when I look back I see that the two metal things have vanished. So I am beginning to feel like I am going around the mental bend. Therefore I would appreciate it if you would kindly, and quickly, tell me what happened."
"I wish I knew. I saw the same things you did. I don't know what happened."
"But you must know - you were talking to them!"
"Was I? I don't remember. Everything is still kind of fuzzy."
"Jim - don't do this to me. You have to remember! And what were you shouting at the Admiral about? Something about poison and another Admiral."
"That's easy enough to answer. Certain individuals blackmailed me into this operation by telling me I had been poisoned and that I had thirty days to live if I didn't get the antidote. There was no poison - therefore no antidote. So all the time we have been rushing about I have been thinking about the poison and counting the days before I curled up my toes and keeled over."
He was silent a moment, then he spoke.
"That's pretty heavy. You are sure about that?"
"I am. And I am also terminally tired so can we please put this conversation off for a bit. I would just like to concentrate on putting one foot in front of another for awhile."
Like it or not Floyd had to settle for that for the moment. Because I needed some time for deep cogitation, to dream up some sort of reasonable story for him - as well as the rest of the troops. Stumbling with fatigue I was grateful that we made our way through the tunnels without meeting any opposition. Though I had the gun ready just in case. When Fido actuated the escape hatch and it opened to reveal the blue sky - I sighed with relief. Gave the gun back to Floyd and used my remaining strength to crawl out onto the ground. Dropped with a groan and leaned back against a polpettone tree.
"You have the gun, Floyd," I said. "So pass me back that ancient artifact if you please. Aida - is there any transportation on the way?"
"There should be. I sent out your position as soon as you were aboveground and I could get a triangulation. Help is on the way."
As indeed it was - for a black spot in the sky grew quickly into the launch from the good old Remorseless. It landed with a shuddering thud, which bit of flying I recognized, so I was not surprised when Captain Tremearne exited through the open door.
"Congratulations," he said, and stuck out his hand. "You did it, Jim."
"Thanks," I said, as he gave my hand a good crushing handshake. "And don't think that it was easy."
"Never! I was there - remember. Can I relieve you of that thing?"
"No!" I shouted - and was shocked to hear the fine edge of hysteria, or incipient madness, to my voice. Well why not! "I'll hand it over - along with a detailed explanation of just what it is - at the meeting."
"What meeting?"
"The meeting that you are now going to arrange at the Pentagon. I'll want all The Stainless Steel Rats there. A last reunion so to speak. Has Madonette gone back to her imprisoning office yet?"
"She was supposed to. But she would not leave the planet until you came back."
"Faithful to the end! So in addition to all the Rats I would like a few other friends present."
"Friends?" He looked baffled. "Like who?"
"Well that macho fat thug Svinjar for one. King of the Machmen. Then you can invite Iron John and his opposite number, Mata. Ask yourself to come along as well. It will make an interesting gathering."
"Interesting — yes. But impossible. None of the exiles on this prison planet is permitted inside the Pentagon."
"Really? I thought that you were the guy that was going to see that Liokukae was cleaned up and cleaned out?"
"Yes, but - "
"Now is the time, Captain. For at this meeting I am not only going to turn over the alien artifact and reveal its secret - but I am going to tell everyone just how the situation here is going to end."
"How?"
"You're invited to the meeting. You'll hear then."
"This will not be easy to arrange."
"Yes it will." I pointed to Floyd. "Ask him about the strange things that happened when we were back there with the Survivalists. Admiral Steengo will verify his reports. There is a lot more to be cleaned up on this planet than you ever realized. Get your arguments together, consult your superiors, look after this." I passed over the artifacted artifact. "And don't wake me up until it has been all arranged."
I climbed wearily into the launch. Pushed up the armrests on the back row of seats. Stretched out and fell instantly to sleep.