"A finished body full of unfinished thoughts," Luke murmured. He pushed the swing again. I rocked forward. "I came up with that on my own."
I smiled and closed my eyes when his hands touched my back again to push. "A finished body full of unfinished thoughts," I repeated on a murmur. "I like that. You should write it down."
"Yeah. Maybe." The sound of his voice caused me to open my eyes. He sounded...I don't know. Wistful, I guess. I was going to ask him about it but the moment was taken away from us. A car passed by on the street. I glanced over and saw the cheerleaders.
Liz Curry and Jill Anderson were creeping by, staring at us through the windshield of Liz's car. I stood up. And that's when Luke moved in front of me, completely blocking me from their view. He did it so subtly that if I hadn't been tuned into every movement he made, I wouldn't have noticed. The girls hollered a hello out their windows to him and he waved back, calling his own greeting.
I could already see the chain of gossip burning like a fuse to dynamite right through the town. Jill Anderson would tell her mother, who was fixing my mom's hair even as we stood there. I would hear about it at supper. Mom would play 35
The Stillburrow Crush
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twenty questions with me. What were you doing with that nice Carter boy? Does he have a date for the prom yet? Did he ask you out?
Except there would be no gossip because the girls hadn't seen me. Luke had made sure of it.
"What's wrong?" Luke said.
I looked up and swallowed. "Nothing." His return look implied he didn't believe me, but he let it go. "OK," he answered. "Well anyway. I was wondering..." We were a few feet apart now and the intimacy from a moment ago had totally vanished. He went back to rubbing his neck.
"Did you just step in front of me so they couldn't see who you were with?" I blurted out.
His head snapped up. His eyes were wide and bright.
"What?"
For the briefest of moments, I had been on top of the world. I'd actually thought he was going to ask me out, maybe even invite me to go to the lake party with him. The lake party was a student-organized event and reportedly very wild. It happened every year, contrary to what parents believed. And I'd truly thought I, Carrie Paxton, daughter to the town grease monkey, would show up at the school's biggest bash of the year on the arm of none other than Luke Carter himself. I'd even imagined how everyone would pause and say hi to us. How when it turned cold, he'd slide his letterman's jacket over my shoulders. And when it grew dark, we'd slip from the group and walk alone through the woods or along the edge of the lake.
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I could almost hear the gossip that would follow us. Who does she think she is, trying to cuddle up to him? There's only one thing he'd want from her.
I frowned. He could have any girl in school. Heck, two of them had driven by moments before, waving and yelling. I don't know what I'd been thinking, but he'd certainly set me straight with that blocking move. It didn't lessen the sting, though.
"Why'd you do that?" I asked, setting my hands on my hips and giving him a glare I usually reserved for Marty.
"What're you talking about?" Suddenly, he was all innocence and confusion.
"You didn't want Liz and Jill to see me here with you," I said. "You stepped in front of me so they couldn't." He laughed then, a nervous sound. "I did not."
"Why?" I said again, this time through gritted teeth. I wasn't about to let him get away with hurting me. I didn't care how big my crush for him was.
He blushed then, and kicked at a clump of dead leaves on the ground. "I don't know why you think I tried to block...Oh, never mind."
He said this to the leaves and jammed his hands into his pockets. When he looked up, he had to squint because the sun flickered through the tree branches, momentarily blinding him. A sliver of light briefly glowed golden over him, giving him unattainable, angelic appeal.
"No need to explain," I said. "I already know why, anyway."
He stared at me hard. "You do?"
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"You're embarrassed to be seen with me because you're so much better than I am." At his startled, appalled expression, I began to feel bolder. "You're the bank president's son and I'm just a mechanic's daughter. Isn't that why?" His mouth fell open. "But that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"It's not to me." I stomped my foot and scared a squirrel into darting up a tree. I wanted to cry. "You're a real snob, you know that?"
"Snob?!" For a second he didn't move. I saw the brief flash of pain in the clenching of his jaw before his brooding eyebrows huddled down protectively low over his eyes. Then he snorted out a disbelieving laugh. Sucking his mouth around his overbite, he buried his hands in his hair and clutched his head. "I can't believe I'm hearing this." For a moment he was quiet, and then he laughed out another snort. But this time it was a harsher, more cynical sound. "This is crazy, Carrie. You don't make any sense. Why would I invite you to walk in the park and then not want to be seen with you?"
"I don't know," I whispered. "Why did you?" My teeth dug into my bottom lip and I could feel moisture gathering at the corners of my eyes. My chin trembled.
He opened his mouth but closed it again. "I'm sorry," he finally said, furiously rubbing that spot on the back of his neck. "I just had an idea. A bad idea, I guess." And he walked away, calling over his shoulder, "I've got to go." 38
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My breath caught in my throat as I watched him retreat. A voice inside me shrieked, "Go after him, Carrie. Call out,
'Luke! What's your idea?'"
But I did nothing. Numbed and a little shell-shocked, I watched him walk away until he disappeared around a house at the end of the block.
Then I ran home, locked myself in my room and didn't come out until supper.
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39
The Stillburrow Crush
by Linda Kage
Chapter Three
The next day right after lunch, I walked into Getty's General with a shopping list and a letter gripped in my hand. During church, Pastor Curry had talked about the sins of the father. There was an empty spot in the pew next to me and every time the door would open, admitting a latecomer, Mom would peer around me to get a look at who entered. But Marty never showed. So there I was, standing in the general store with Mom's hastily thought-up list and a note for my brother.
I couldn't get you-know-who out of my head. So when Mom commissioned me to go pseudo-grocery shopping for her, I was more than ready for the distraction. Luke didn't attend the same church we did. He went to the chapel on Main Street. So I didn't have to worry about getting stuck staring at the back of his head during the service or anything. But that didn't stop me from thinking about him. By this time, I had come up with a plausible reason why he had visited me the day before. It must've been because of what I'd called him in the paper. He didn't want to be referred to as Lucas, so he'd come to my house and made sure I wouldn't do it again. That had to be the reason, right?
But that didn't explain why he'd asked me to walk in the park with him. We'd discussed the whole Lucas bit before he'd asked for that stroll. So why had he asked? I was back at the beginning again. Biting my lip, I thought about it harder. 40