Flora and Maud drew their chairs eagerly up to Laura and in one breath exclaimed.
"Oh, tell us all about it."
" Well, then, in perfect confidence I will. After kissing and playing, Tony, for, I learned to call him that, took out his dilly."
" Oh, don't be so stupid," said Flora, " as to call it a dilly, that is only what they say in the nursery about a little boy. Surely you know some more manly name for a full grown man's-"
" What? " said Laura laughing. " Why, you hesitate yourself before naming it. However, if it will please you I will call it by its proper name, and in these days of women doctors there can't be any harm in that.
" Well, he took out his penis and put it into her hand, and oh! it was a tremendous fellow. I couldn't take my eyes off it, although the sight made me burn with blushes. A great staring, stiff thing with an immense red head, enough to frighten anybody. However, Juno, the dark girl, was not a bit afraid of it; she fondled and caressed it and actually kissed it. Then she laid back, and he lifted up her clothes, and certainly I never saw straighter or handsomer limbs than were displayed. Well, he got over her and in a moment inserted his pegoe."
" Oh," said Flora, " I've caught you. There's another name for it, and a name I once saw in a bad book. Oh, Laura, you have read the book too, or one like it."
" Well, to tell you the truth, I have read one or two," said Laura, " for I got at my brother Tom's box one day, hunting for a trinket I thought he had stolen from me in fun, and there I found оде or two books. However don't spoil my story. Well, when he got in she gave a slight scream, perhaps of a little pain, but in a minute it was changed, I am sure, to pleasure; for as he pushed in and out she kept exclaiming, 'Oh! oh! Oh, I shall die! Oh, you will kill me with pleasure!' And at last, as he shot into her his sperm, she clutched him in ecstasy and fainted with delight. I could hardly contain myself, and I felt a most extraordinary sensation in my drawers from sympathy."
During Laura's narrative the colour of the other two girls came and went, and their countenances and nervous twitching of their lips shewed the story excited them.
" Oh, I wish, " said Flora, " that it were possible to taste such pleasures without the danger and the wickedness of a man."
" Well, so it is, " said Laura, " if you are bold enough; perhaps not the real thing, but at any rate an excellent substitute, as they say of marmalade."
" Oh, whatever can you mean? " said Maud.
" Well, my dears," said Laura, " you must know that when I read this book (by-the-bye, Flora, you must tell me where you saw a bad book, as you call it) I found at the end an advertisement of an instrument called a dildoe. "
" Oh, yes, I have heard of it, " said Flora. " Well, I have in fact the advertisement in my purse. I will read it to you, " and she read as follows:
THE DILDOE, OR, LADIES' SYRINGE.
The grand disideratum accomplished by the Patentee, is the substitution of india rubber for the shaft of this article, instead of ivory, horn, wood, silver, wax, or porcelain, heretofore used, none of which substances could resemble the real thing in effect, however beautiful they might be shaped and painted.
The india rubber shaft, when dipped in warm water to bring it to blood heat, is sufficiently soft and elastic so tittilate the female seat of pleasure, without excoriating the vagina, or injuring the mouth of the uterus.
The most complete article is made with a stomacher, in order that one female may fix it firmly on herself so as to operate upon another female. In this case, the ball, or scrotum, is placed between the thighs of the operator, close under her notch, and her " mons veneris " is entirely concealed by the stomacher. The upper strings are passed round her waist, and tied in front; and the under strings round the thick part of the thighs, and tied behind. In this manner the machine will remain firm and effective throughout the " soft encounter; " and when the receiving female is wrought to that delightful pitch of burning ecstasy that she requires the balmy shower of love to consummate her bliss, she has only to say " now! "
The operator can instantly produce the exhilarating injection by nipping the scrotum with her thighs, because the ball being previously charged with a moisture of cream and gelatine, only requires a slight pressure to produce in the thirsty gap that thrilling sensation so much desired in the critical moment. If the receiver is a glutton, she may be inundated with the emission, and hence the superiority of art over nature, which caused a lady to exclaim that a dildoe was better than a prick, because she could make it spend when she pleased.
This noble instrument may justly be entitled the Maid's Safe-guard, the Widow's comfort, and the Wife's Consolation.
It will cure the virgin of the green sickness without the risk of impregnation.
It will comfort the widow until she can make a suitable match.
And it will be found a never failing source of consolation to those married ladies whose husbands are impotent through age or debauchery.
Many elderly gentlemen, whose affairs have shrunk into their bellies, are in the habit of strapping these instruments on in order to administer due benevolence to aged partners of their beds, because it is well known that a woman is never too old to relish enjoyment, although age incapacitates the male from performing the operation.
Directions for use.-Put a little soap and water into a jug, or cream and gelatine, then take the article and dip its head in, pressing the ball with the thumb, when it will immediately fill. Before using put a lather of soap and water on the head, after using, squeeze out the contents, and hang it up to dry with the head downwards. Use the water tolerably warm, and take care not to put pomatum or grease of any kind upon it, as it softens it too much, and causes it to assume a white colour, which cannot be got out.
N. В.-These pleasing instruments (with directions for use) can be obtained at all booksellers who deal in facetious works, and also at some of the first- rate houses of accommodation. A couple day's notice is required, also a deposit of ten shillings, which will be allowed in the purchase.
" Now if you are bold enough to get one I'm sure it will afford a considerable amount of excitement and pleasure, and cannot have any danger; and whoever obtains it can after operating tell the others how she likes it; and as it can be mutually used it may afford us pleasure all round. I confess I should have got one before now if I had known how to go about it. Now girls who'll bell the cat? "
" Not I for the world," said timid Maud," I should faint at the idea of asking even a woman for one, and I suppose it is some horrid man that makes and sells them. "
" Well, " said Flora, " I will undertake the commission-easier to me for two or three reasons. In the first place, it is perhaps expensive, and I am richer than you girls and can well afford its purchase; and in the second place my milliner, I am sure, can get it for me without trouble, for many times her conversation and hints have been of a very bold character, and I'm sure she knows where anything of the sort can be got. It was her that shewed me the book I spoke of, which she pretended she had picked up, but which I know was only shewed to induce me to purchase more.-Perhaps I should have done so, only we went to Saratoga, and I saw little of her. However, I will get it. and I promise you that I won't even unpack it- great as my curiosity may be-until we meet here again on Wednesday evening, only two days from now, so girls, let's say no more about it until then. "
Soon after this the two young ladies departed, I don't know what Maud and Laura thought of it, but a writer is privileged to know even the thoughts of his heroine.