“What do you care?” she says dramatically and I look up at Cam. I don’t know how he’s keeping his cool, or not doubled over with laughter. I can throw a hissy fit of epic proportions; I did it on a regular basis. With a houseful of brothers, I also learnt how to act heartbroken and upset so I could get my own way, and that’s exactly what she’s doing now. I can’t quite work out what her game is. Whether she thinks Cam will feel sorry for her, or she thinks I will fall for her crap and walk away. I have no idea, but it’s not working and I think it’s time for her to leave.
Cam’s phone rings and he looks from the screen to Tamara the screeching banshee.
“Robyn, she’s here… She told me you let her go out for a walk… Okay, well Benny will bring her home, she’s leaving now…
“You think so? … But, how? Mark should be with her at all times…
“Oh, does he? Well, I’ll give him a bell and get that sorted but let me know if you have any concerns, and do me a favour; when she gets back, check her blood pressure please. She’s having a little tantrum at the moment and it can’t be good for either of them… Okay cheers.”
He ends the call. “Stop with the tears, Tamara. You’re a fucking actress. Robyn had no idea you were here. You were supposed to be going for milk, which you didn’t need. Robyn’s just found the carton you hid in the back garden.” He lets out a long breath. “I don’t know how to make this any clearer to you, so I will just say it how it is.” He looks at me. “I’m with Georgia. I love Georgia. Me and you, whether the baby is mine or not, will never be together, never. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to make you cry, but you need to understand. We may share a child, but that is as far as our relationship will ever go.”
I don’t look at her. I don’t want to gloat. I’ve had my heart broken. It’s not something I would ever wish on anyone.
The front door opens and closes, and Cam says from beside me, “That’ll be Benny. He’s gonna drive you home, Tam. Please don’t make a scene.” I look up at him as he rubs his hand over his jaw. “I want you to be well. I want you to be safe. I want the baby to be born healthy, but that’s all there is between us. Please don’t come here again.”
Benny is leaning against the wall as I look up and he winks at me.
“You all right, George? You’re looking well, girl.” I nod slightly.
“I’m doing okay, Ben. It’s good to see you.”
“I can find my own way home. I don’t need him,” Tamara interrupts. Cam lets out a long sigh and rakes his hand through his hair.
“Tamara, you’re a pregnant drug addict. You either play by my rules and have Mark and Robyn with you, or I put you back in the facility, and this time, I’ll let your dad know the real reason you’re in there.” He looks at Benny. “Take her home, Ben. See her in and tell Marky to call me.”
Benny swings his keys around and says, “Will do, boss. See ya, George.”
“Bye, Ben.”
He looks at Tamara. “You fit then, your ladyship?”
“Fuck off, Benjamin. Please don’t speak to me.”
“My pleasure, darling, my pleasure,” he says on a chuckle as he walks back up the hallway.
Tamara folds her arms across her chest and looks at both of us. “It won’t last you know. As soon as she’s finished mourning, she’ll go off into the big wide world and leave you. Just like she did before.” She turns her gaze on me. “And him, he’ll soon get bored. Cam’s not the settling down type. He likes variety, someone different to warm his bed every week, except me of course. He’s kept me around for over ten years and that’s because he can’t keep away. There’s always been something special between Cameron and me, and now there’s a child involved, he won’t be able to stay away, so enjoy him while you can. He’ll soon be running back to me.”
She stands and waits for my reply but I keep a dignified silence.
“Just go,” Cam says quietly from beside me and she turns and walks away.
I fold my arms across my chest and look up at him. “Well, that went better than I expected.” I’ve barely got the words out of my mouth when Tamara comes screeching from the hallway towards us. Benny is behind her, but isn’t fast enough to stop her launching herself at me, Cam blocks her path as she lashes out, kicking, clawing and punching him. Benny grabs her and Cam calls out, “Careful, Ben, careful, she’s pregnant, remember.”
“Pregnant, fucking pregnant, she’s a lunatic, Cam. That’s what she is, a fucking lunatic.”
I’ve barely moved as I watch the two huge men wrestle with Tamara. I’ve rarely witnessed violence in my life. I know I attacked Whorely the way I did, but whenever fights break out around me, I always seem to freeze to the spot, and despite Cam knocking into me a couple of times, I stand and stare at what unfolds. Tamara’s eyes are wide and on me the whole time.
“I hate you. Why didn’t you die with your husband?” she screams at me. It’s like she’s a different person to the one who just stood calmly in front of us. Her words cause a horrible pain in my chest but I still say and do nothing.
“What did you take?” Cam has her face in his big hands and forces her to look at him, “You’re on something. I fucking know it. What did you take?”
She throws her head back and starts to laugh. Cam turns and looks at me and I hate what I see in his eyes, written all over his face; it's guilt. It’s how I probably looked when I found him in his bathroom at his old flat above the wine bar that time. He’s blaming himself for this. He thinks her being a junkie is all down to him and I don’t know what to say or do to take the guilt away.
“You okay, Kitten?” he asks me quietly. I’m touched that his first thought is for me while all this chaos is going on. I swallow and nod, but I’m not entirely sure that I am and I think he knows it. “Can you call an ambulance for me? Call for an ambulance, then pass me the phone so I can talk to them.”
I nod again and turn to get my phone when Tamara screams, “What did you call her? Did you call her Kitten? Why? Why?” She’s kicking and thrashing again. “Why her? Why not me? Why not me?” She starts to sob as I press 9-9-9 on my phone. She stops fighting and just sobs and I start to cry as I pass the phone to Cam. She’s heartbroken. I know that cry. I’ve cried like that so often myself this past year and I can’t help but feel sorry for her and I can’t help but wonder… if I wasn’t here, would he be with her? Would they be together? Am I breaking up or keeping apart a family?
* * *
I sit on the sofa and watch as Cam holds Tamara in his arms as she cries. The paramedics arrive, but she screams and begs Cam not to let them take her away, so in the end, he goes in the ambulance with her. He barks at Benny to stay with me as he carries her out the door. “I’ll be back as soon as she’s settled,” he looks over his shoulder, directing his words at me. I nod. What else can I do?
The front door closes and when Benny comes and sits down next to me on the sofa, I really let the tears go. I’m not really sure why I’m crying. What I just witnessed was distressing, but I think my tears are more about guilt, and for the first time in a long while, I hear that little voice in my head telling me that perhaps I should’ve died on that cold pavement next to Sean and our son last year. Perhaps that’s what was meant to happen, but because of my husband’s selfless actions, it didn’t, and now here I am, being selfish, loving Cam and ruining other people’s lives.
Chapter Twenty
Benny sits quietly at first, saying nothing as I cry. After about ten minutes, he says, “Come on, George. Don’t cry like that, sweetheart. It’s upsetting to hear.” I lean over and pull a couple of tissues from the box on the coffee table and blow my nose.
“Sorry, Ben,” I sniff. “You wanna cup of tea or something?” I ask him.
“Fuck the tea, babe, I need a proper drink after dealing with that Loony Tune.” He gets up and goes over to a top cupboard in the kitchen and pulls out a bottle of bourbon, then a glass from a different cupboard. “You want one of these, or you want summit different?” he asks.