“Anyway, she’s a mess after her Dad dies and I realise that I need to step up, she’s on complete bed rest to try and keep her blood pressure down and I’m trying to deal with her and the Riley’s who’ve crawled out of the woodwork again and are causing us problems.”
I watch as his hand comes up to his jaw and he rubs with his thumb and index finger, he seems to study me for a few long moments, I think he’s debating whether or how to tell me whatever it is he’s about to say next. “I went out George, I went out on the Friday night, I was off my tits and pubbed, clubbed and fucked my way through Friday and Saturday night, I didn’t call her, not once George, not once did I give my sick, pregnant wife a thought during that weekend, not until I pulled up Sunday lunchtime, back at our home.”
He rakes both of his hands through his hair, then drags them down his face. “We had bought a place in Shenfield, not far from where your Mum and Dad are now. The first thing I noticed were that the gates were open, Chantelle would never have left them open. I had them put in especially for her and the baby’s security, then when I pulled up outside, I could see that the front doors had been smashed in, I went running in, calling out her name, I found her in the bedroom, she was tied to a chair, blind folded, with an alarm clock ticking to her, she’d… ” He shook his head, not the little head shake he does when I piss him off but a no, no, no kind of head shakes.
“She’d thrown up all over herself and was totally confused, I untied her and laid her on the bed, then called for an ambulance, she hadn’t been touched, not raped, not beaten, what they had done was terrify her. Her blood pressure was dangerously high, they delivered my son by emergency caesarean, and he was still born. Chantelle started fitting on the operating table, her blood pressure was so high that it was causing seizures, eventually all of her organs shut down and she died, she died, my baby died a large part of me died. I should’ve died, not them, they were good and pure and innocent but they died because of me.”
He has tears but he doesn’t appear to be crying, he’s just talking, telling me his story, with tears rolling down his cheeks. I go to him and sit myself in his lap, curl myself into his big body. He holds me, wraps his arms around me and kisses into my hair. “The man I shot yesterday, he was one of their firm, he didn’t come to my house that day, if he had he would have been long dead but he was known to us as one of the faces causing us trouble in the clubs, then he got banged up and I just let it go. I had no idea he was even out so yesterday, yesterday he finally got what was coming to him.”
I sit quietly comprehending all that he’s told me. “It was the Riley’s then, who’d come to your house.”
“Yeah, we caught up with one of their firm later that night, didn’t take much to get him to grass, but he did; all of those involved had done a runner over to Spain, all trying to lay low, they got in touch, pleaded that they had no idea it would cause her blood pressure to go up, they didn’t want any trouble, they were sorry.” I feel him shrug his shoulders. “I’m a nasty bastard Georgia, I’ve done lots of bad things in my life but I have rules, most people I deal with, your Dad and your uncle, your brother, we all live by the same rules, you do not involve people’s families, whatever grief you have with someone, you do not involve family, especially not pregnant wives.”
He sighs deeply. “They got what was coming to them, I didn’t have to do anything, everyone else was so disgusted, so appalled at what they had done, that as soon as they surfaced, they were taken out, all but one, Chris Riley but I found him, I found him and I took a lot of pleasure in dealing with him. Terry was the last on the list, he’s lucky I was with you and in such a good mood yesterday, I let him off lightly.”
Fuck!
My Dad, my Uncles, my brother, my family are all involved in this, in this lifestyle and I had no idea. I sit silently in his lap, my head resting on his bare chest, he has one arm around my waist, the other wrapped around my shoulder, while traces patterns over my back with his fingertips. I have no idea what to say. What do you say? Is this a conversation that anyone, has sat naked and had before I wonder?
“Would you like me to go?” He looks down at me as I look up at him. Do I? I suddenly feel incredibly tired again and just want to go back to sleep.
“I don’t know, do you think I should want you to go?”
“Probably.”
“Do you want to go?”
“No, I want to stay. I want you to tell me what you’re thinking? What you think of me now that I’ve told you all of that?”
Bloody hell, this is all a bit deep and heavy for three on a Saturday morning, then thoughts starts popping into my head. “How did your Dad die?”
“He was murdered.”
“Like, Kray gangster style murdered?”
“Yeah, he was shot, on our doorstep, my little sister saw the whole thing, she had run and opened the front door ahead of him, and they pulled out a gun and put a bullet between his eyes.”
“Fuckin hell Cam.”
“Now dya want me to go?”
“Will you shoot me if I don’t give the right answer?”
“That’s not funny Georgia.”
“And dentist o’clock was?” Before he answers his belly growls loudly, my heads still pressed into his chest and I hear the sound echo around his insides, I look up at him with a grin.
“Are you hungry Tiger, have you worked up an appetite?”
His mouth is on mine before I even finish what I was saying, I twist around in his lap and straddle him, the duvet is between us but I can feel how hard he is regardless. I tangle my hands in his hair and he does exactly the same to me. My lips feel sore, burnt almost where his stubble is scratching over them; I pull away and look up at him, we went to sleep with the lamp on earlier, it’s just enough light to be able to see the glint in his eye.
“I thought you were hungry?” I ask with one eyebrow raised.
“I’m Hank fuckin Marvin Kitten but would much rather be inside you”
“Do you have another condom?”
“Are you not on the pill?”
“I’m on the pill but I don’t know you well enough Cam, no condom, no sex, sorry but that’s my rules.”
He looks thoroughly pissed off for a few seconds. “I’m clean Georgia.”
“Says you.”
“What, do you think I would lie, about something like that?”
“Cam, I, no, I don’t think you would lie but I don’t have sex without a condom.”
“What if we were in a relationship, would you still make me wear a condom?”
“I… we would… no, probably not.”
“Would you like to be in a relationship, with me I mean?” Oh fuck, here we go and I thought he was different.
“Cam, look, we’ve just had sex for the first time tonight, we could be sick of each other in a week, can’t we just see how we go with this?”
He bites down on his bottom lip and still doesn’t look happy. “I don’t share Georgia Layton, if we’re sleeping together, then I don’t expect you to be sleeping with anyone else.”
I feel a little bit ashamed, he has every right to think that I’m a two timing whore, I want to get off of his lap, I want to have a little hissy fit and order him to go but how can I, how can I when he knows exactly how I have behaved these last six months?
“There’s no one else Cam, there will be no one else while I’m seeing you, I won’t fuck you about.” I don’t want sex now, the whole moment has gone.
“Would you like me to make you something to eat?” I ask.
His forehead is pressed against mine. “I would love for you to make me something to eat now please Kitten, and then when we are done, we find a fuckin’ condom somewhere and we will fuck again.”
And we did twice more.