I walk quietly into the bathroom and watch Sean in the shower, he’s standing with his back to the water, it’s hitting the top of his head and bouncing off his shoulders, his head is tilted up to the ceiling, his eyes are closed and he’s singing. I shudder and close my eyes as the desire I feel at the sound of his raspy voice unfurls between my legs, making my muscles tighten and my heart speed up as I listen to him sing. I’ve never heard of the song but as I listen to the words, I think I know what it is.
I tried, I really tried but it was only ever you.
All these years, all the tears, it’s still only ever you.
What we did, the things we said, they’re still always on my mind.
There’s no one else, there never was, it’s still only ever you.
The sweetest smile, the bluest eyes, the taste of you, on my tongue.
You’re in my heart, you’re in my head, right where you belong.
All the others, they never mattered, they don’t come close to you.
Wish you was here, wrapped in my arms, my heart aches just at the thought of you.
All the others, they never mattered, none of them come close to you.
The things the y write, it’s all bullshit and lies
Because it’s still only ever you.
You’re the only one that can make me complete but I let you down, I fucked it up
Our lives were plan ned and with one stupid act, I blew it all away.
My lies were white, my heart was black
I got just what I deserved when you never came back
But still…
You’re in my heart, you’re in my head, right where you belong.
I want you here right by my side, I want you real, a distant memory just ain’t the same
There’s nothing left, my life’s gone to shit and I’ve only got myself to blame.
I get on stage, I sing my song but all I want, all I need, is to have you back, where you belong
With me…With me…Always…With me.
I undo the shower screen door and step in beside him, he opens his eyes and looks at me, the water is bouncing off of him, his shoulders, his broad chest and I sway with the emotion of it all.
He pushes my hair off my face and sings in a whisper, “Where you belong, with me, with me, always, with me.”
His mouth comes down hard on mine, he spins me around and pushes me against the hard tiled wall of the shower, he slides up and in me all in one move, I wrap my legs around him as he holds onto my bum cheeks and presses me between the wall and his hips. Still kissing me hard on the lips; he breaks away and pushes my hair off my face. “Fuck I love you Georgia Rae and I’m gonna spend the rest of my life proving it.”
We have bed sex after we have shower sex so then I have to have another quick shower, which I insist on taking alone so that the cycle doesn’t start again. We strip and remake the bed, then jump into Sean’s white Range Rover and go to my flat. He calls Len from there and thanks him for letting us stay and arranges for us all to go out tonight, apparently it’s been a while since the boys were all in the country at the same time so they want to catch up, that’s what last night was supposed to have been about and it was, till I fell through the front door. Sean then calls Marley to see if he would like to join us for dinner, which he does. You would think that being the world famous, jet setters that they now were, we would be heading to some swanky restaurant in the West End or the city but no, this is Sean and my brothers and all they want to do is head into Upminster to their favourite Indian, which is the very same Indian I go to most Saturday nights.
Thankfully there’s no evidence of Cam having been here, my bed has been made and there are none of his clothes hanging about. I throw on a pair of jeans with a smart blouse and a pair of heels, put my hair up in a messy bun and put on some makeup, and then we drive into the Docklands area of East London. The whole place is like a huge building site, with redevelopment work going on everywhere, we pull up at what looks like a huge warehouse on the edge of the water. It’s a three story building, built from old stock bricks. Sean takes my hand as we head toward a set of wooden and glass doors, he taps a code into the machine and we walk into a lobby area where there is a concierge come security guard sitting behind a sort of hole in the wall. He’s an older man, maybe in his sixties but very tall and muscular, he stands from where he was watching telly as we walk in.
“Alright Ronnie, how’s things?”
“All good here Maca, all good, Marley’s home, I ain’t seen him go out nowhere t’day.”
He smiles and nods his head toward me as he speaks in his gruff cockney accent. “This is my girlfriend Georgia, Ron, I’m gonna sort her out with keys and the key code, just in case you see her coming in and out and wonder who she is.”
My belly does a little twirl and my heart swells as I hear him call me his girlfriend, Ronnie steps out from his little room and comes over and shakes my hand. “Nice to meet ya Georgia, ‘bout time he settled down wiv a decent bird, still, he ain’t as bad as Marley. I don’t know where he gets the energy from, two and three at a time I’ve seen him take…” He trails off as I think Sean is glaring at him from beside me.
“Nice to meet you too Ronnie,” I smile as I speak. “And I will be having a word with my brother about his lose morals, don’t you worry about that.”
He looks from me to Sean with a frown; Sean pulls me into him by my waist. “Georgia is Marley’s little sister Ron, you just dropped him right in the shit.”
We turn and head for the lifts as Ron mumbles something I don’t quite catch. The lift is the original old fashioned metal box, with a caged door that you have to pull across and close by hand. There’s also an old fashioned wrought iron spiral staircase if you don’t want to take the lift, Sean informs me.
The apartment is fantastic, nothing like you would expect two, twenty-two year old rock stars to live in. It’s all exposed brickwork and timber. I notice the sofas are the exact replicas of the old Chesterfield from the summerhouse, in the exact same colour too. Marley’s lying on one of them as we come in. He’s playing some kind of a game with a controller, it looks like a werewolf, running riot in ancient Greece and I don’t think Marley’s doing too well because he throws the controller down and sits up as we come in.
“Big brother Marley, how are we, you got any dirty birds stashed up here that I need to kick out?”
“What the fuck are you talking about little sister Georgia?” he asks as he stands, stretches, then pulls me in for a cuddle and kisses the top of my head.
Sean heads off in search of clean clothes and shouts, “I just introduced G to Ronnie. He told her about the amount of birds you bring back here, before I had chance to tell him she was your sister.”
“Nice one Ron,” Sean mumbles as he sits back down on the sofa.
“Anyway, cheeky fucker, who said the birds I bring back here are dirty?” Marls shouts loud enough for Sean to hear.
“Err, actually, you did, don’t you remember, you threw one out a few weeks back coz you said she had a smelly twat,” Sean shouts as he heads back in to the open plan room.
My mouth drops open, he’s wearing black jeans, with a white v necked t-shirt; he has on a black suede jacket, and is wearing wooden rosary beads and a cross around his neck. He looks every bit the world famous rock star that he is and I suddenly feel inadequate as I look at his perfection.