I put my hands on my hips and look at him for a while. I’m wearing a vintage looking Marlon Brando t-shirt. It’s Marley’s but I love it, because it’s too big I’ve tied it in a knot at my hip and paired it with my jeans and a pair of Dr Martin boots. I like girly clothes but I’m surrounded by boys so I like a lot of what they wear too. I stand facing Sean with my hands at my side and swallow hard, I’ve left my boots at the door so I unbutton my jeans, slide them off my hips and kick them off. Without pausing for breath, I pull my t-shirt over my head and take off my bra; Sean is sitting upright now, his hands gripping the edge of the mattress, his eyes are as wide as saucers. I take two steps toward him and stand between his legs. His eyes slowly make their way up my body and I watch as they move side to side as he looks at each of my breasts, his tongue darts out and over his lips again. He puts his hands on my hips and very slowly slides them up my body, when they get level with my boobs, he cups them in each hand and rubs his thumbs over each of my nipples, he pulls me further toward him and takes the left one in his mouth and sucks it, his eyes looking up at mine all the while. I am shaking so badly, I just hope he can’t feel it as he holds on to me.
“G... What… Are we doing this?” I nod my head, we’ve talked and talked about this, we’ve been there with our hands and I know that I’m ready, I know that there’ll never be any one for me but Sean and I just want to get this first time over with. He’s not a virgin, he was shagging girls those first couple of years we were pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Well he was pretending, I thought it was real, it hurt when he confessed but he swears he hasn’t touched another girl since we spoke to my parents in Portugal and I believe him. He pulls his T-shirt off over his head and I look down over his body; he and Marley have set up a home gym in the summer house and they have been working out almost daily since my Dad bought it for them as a joint Christmas present last year. He looks so much broader than he did last summer and has a line of hairs running down the middle of his chest, a few around his nipples, then all the way down to beneath the waistline of his jeans. He stands up in front of me, undoes his jeans and pulls them off with his boxers and socks, I pull down my knickers and step out of them and once again he looks me up and down.
“You’re beautiful G, so beautiful. Are you sure you’re safe?” I nod my head. Six months ago, Jimmie’s older sister had told us that if we went to the family planning clinic and complained about heavy periods they would put us on the pill, they did and I had been taking it regularly now for the last three months.
“Yes… Are you sure? You’ve never done it… without a condom I mean?” We had been learning about this new disease in our social education classes at school, it was called AIDS and somehow people were catching it from sex, I was fourteen, I didn’t want to die from a sex disease. My brothers would kill me.
We laid down on the bed, side by side, he kissed me from my ankles to the top of my head and out to my fingertips, he reassured me constantly, asked if I was okay continuously and worshiped me endlessly, then after using his fingers on me for a few minutes, Sean climbed on top. All the while continuing to ask if I was sure and assuring me he’d be gentle.
“I love you Georgia Rae Layton… I love you so much… I’m gonna push inside you now… I’ll go very slowly but it might hurt a bit… If it’s too much… If it hurts too much G, tell me and I’ll stop. Okay?”
I nod, I’m shaking from head to toe, adrenalin pumping through my veins, my heart, my body, which is naked and pressed as close as two people can be, against his. He uses his hand to line himself up and then laces our fingers together at the side of our heads and looks deep into my eyes as he slowly nudges his way inside me, there’s no pain at first. I don’t feel anything, other than fear, embarrassment and desire. Then it stings, I wince and he stops.
“You okay babe?” I nod and let out a breath. “Just a little bit more and I’ll be in.”
“You’re not in yet?”
He laughs.
“No G… I’m nowhere near in yet. Are you ready?”
“Yes Sean, will you just shag me please.”
He laughs and shakes his head and kisses my mouth, then looks into my eyes as he slides in… And oh fuck… In… Ow… And in!
“I’m… Fuck G that feels so nice… I’m in, is it okay if I move?”
I bite down on my bottom lip as he starts to move, and oh does he move, it’s not amazing sex, it’s not really long, drawn out sex but it is sweet, beautiful lovemaking between two kids, that are absolutely one hundred per cent sure that they’ll love each other for the rest of their lives. Half an hour later, we consider ourselves experts and have another go, this time we’re entirely different with each other. By the time we go for round three, I’m brave enough to climb on top and experience my fourth orgasm of the day and all I can think to myself is why did I wait so long?
CHAPTER 4
“I think we shall have a boy first, or maybe two, then we’ll have a girl.”
“Three kids? I only want two.”
Sean turns his head and looks up at me with brown eyes, I continue combing my fingers through is dark brown hair, he’s wearing it a bit shorter than he used to but there’s still enough for me to grab a handful.
“But I want a little girl and she’s going to be beautiful like you so she’ll need at least two big brothers to protect her from boys like me.”
I stroke my hand over his whiskers as I smile down at him; we are totally naked, lying in Sean’s bed, his Mum and Stepdad are away on holiday so we’ve been spending all of our time here instead of at my house. It’s a whole year since we first started having sex and we are so comfortable with each other that we have no issues with wandering around with no clothes on in front of each.
Tonight is extra special, I have lied to my parents, they think I am staying at Jimmie’s but instead, I’m here with Sean and we’re finally going to spend an entire night together. It’s cold outside and we’ve been in bed for most of the afternoon, making love, smoking weed and playing music. I’m now sitting with my back against the headboard of Sean’s bed, while he lies with his head in my naked lap, I’m fifteen years old, he’s seventeen and there’s nothing we don’t know about love and life, we have it all worked out.
Sean is working part time for my Dad while he completes his ‘A’ levels. The band are doing great and have bookings most weekends, they performed at a couple of festivals last summer and are re-booked for the coming summer, they saved enough money to go into a studio and produce a demo tape. Lennon and my Dad have been sending it out to different music companies the past few weeks and they received a call yesterday from one of the biggest companies around, they have a meeting set up for the following Thursday, this really could be it, the big time for Carnage! Well, bigger than playing pubs and birthday parties.
Sean and I have decided that as soon as I’m done with school, we shall get married, that way my parents won’t mind when I go on tour with the band, because once they make it big, which they will, a tour will be on the cards and Sean and I don’t want to be apart, ever. Once the band have recorded their first album and completed the tour, we should have enough money to put a deposit on a house, then we can start thinking about babies. We’ve even picked their names, we will have a boy named Beau and a girl named Lilly but now Sean’s throwing another boy in the mix, we’ll have to think of another boy’s name.
“I have three big brothers, it didn’t protect me from you, besides, if we have a little girl that grows up and meets a boy like you, then she’ll be very lucky.”
“I don’t want a boy like me sniffing around my thirteen year old daughter G, I will kill him, I swear, I will kill him.”
I laugh at the way he’s getting so angry at a hypothetical situation and I’m squirming inside at the thought of him being an overprotective Dad to our daughter; I smile down at him some more.