‘If chance, not wisdom, governs human life,’ retorted the Brehon dryly, ‘then you are truly possessed of a great deal of luck.’
Epilogue
Fidelma met Brother Cillín at the door of the chapel.
‘Congratulations, sister. It was a complicated case well presented.’
‘Febal is not the only one here who seems to have fallen from the path of the Faith,’ Fidelma said pointedly.
Brother Cillín glanced in the direction in which she had been looking and saw Abbess Draigen talking intently to Sister Lerben.
‘Ah yes. The arrogance of the abbess. Vanitas vanitatum, omnis vanitas. I have the authority from Abbot Brocc to request that the abbess go on a pilgrimage in order that she may discover true humility again. Sister Brónach will be placed in charge of the abbey here under my direction.’
‘I understood that you were going to Gulban’s capital across the mountains?’
‘I am. I intend to raise a new religious house there and this abbey, once cleansed of the sin of pride, will take instruction from it. Let us pray that Abbess Draigen may accept the lesson and learn from it.’
‘Was it Syrus who said vincit qui se vincit — they conquer who conquer themselves?’
Brother Cillín chuckled.
‘Who knows themselves and overcomes their problems can go on to achieve many things in life. It is a fine thought. I hope that it is not too late and that Draigen is not as arrogant as to misunderstand the sentiment.’
‘Will you be able to insist that she obeys? She is not someone who meekly accepts instruction?’
‘There is the matter of her incitement of Sister Lerben to commit murder which you have told me of. Murder might well have resulted if you had not interceded to protect Sister Berrach. I will make it plain that Draigen has a choice, to obey in humility or answer for her behaviour before a council of her ecclesiastical peers at Ros Ailithir.’
‘In that case, I am sure that she will go. Draigen is conceited but her arrogance hides a life that was destroyed before it began. Conceit is only the armour she has put on to protect her against life.’
Brother Cillín looked at her wryly.
‘Am I to have pity for her? Surely her conceit is comfort enough for her?’
‘It would be sad if we did not feel pity for the wreckage of life.’
‘Rather would I feel pity for her daughter, Sister Lerben. She had been doomed by her mother and has suffered from the actions of her father. What hope for her?’
‘That will be up to you, Cillín,’ replied Fidelma. ‘Your hand must now guide the paths of these people.’
‘It is a heavy responsibility,’ agreed the monk. ‘I would rather pilgrimage among the barbarians who have not heard the word of Christ than tried to solve the conflicts of these minds and souls. I will be sending Sister Lerben to Ard Fhearta where she must spend the time learning from her elders.’
‘Poor Lerben. She was proud of being rechtaire here.’
‘She has much to learn before she can guide or have authority over others.’ Brother Cillín held out his hand. ‘Vade in pace, Fidelma of Kildare.’
‘Vale, Cillín of Mullach.’
Fidelma rejoined Eadulf in the courtyard of the abbey.
‘What now?’ asked the Saxon monk anxiously.
‘Now? I have no wish to stay in this sad place. I am returning to Cashel.’
‘Then we will journey together,’ Eadulf said brightly. ‘Am I not the emissary of Theodore of Canterbury to your brother at Cashel?’
On the quay, they found Ross was waiting for them. Fidelma saw Sister Brónach standing to one side with Sister Berrach, supporting herself on her heavy staff. It was clear that Brónach and Berrach were both waiting to speak with her. Fidelma, with a muttered excuse to Eadulf and Ross, went across and greeted them.
‘I did not want you to go before I could speak to you,’ Sister Brónach began hesitantly. ‘I wanted to thank you …’
‘There is nothing to thank me for,’ Fidelma protested.
‘I also wanted to apologise,’ the solemn-faced religieuse went on. ‘I thought that somehow you had suspected me …’
‘It is my profession to suspect everyone, sister, but is it not said vincit omnia veritas — truth eventually conquers?’ she replied whimsically.
Sister Berrach snorted loudly and pointed towards the abbey buildings.
‘Should your Latin tag not be that from Terence — veritas odium parit?’
Fidelma’s eyes widened slightly in amusement.
‘Truth breeds hatred?’ She glanced towards the abbey buildings. The abbess was engaged in heated argument with Brother Cillín. ‘Ah yes. I am afraid that is the nature of truth because so many people seek to hide the truth from one another. But the greater hatred arises when the person has hidden the truth from themselves.’
Sister Berrach bowed her head in acceptance of the wisdom.
‘I would like to thank you, Fidelma. Had it not been for you, I would also have stood falsely accused. Prejudice would have convicted me.’
‘Heraclitus says that dogs bark at people they do not know.Indeed, prejudice is but a child of ignorance. People often hate others because they do not know them. I cannot blame you, but you yourself did contribute something to that ignorance by playing the role others gave you instead of standing firm for yourself. You pretended that you were something of a simpleton, pretended to stutter, pretended to be uneducated and confined your reading to the hours when no one could observe you.’
‘We cannot eliminate prejudice,’ replied Sister Berrach, defensively.
‘Knowledge is the one thing that makes us human and not simply animal. Sister Comnat will be looking for a new assistant librarian. If she had knowledge of your ability among books, Sister Berrach, I am sure that she would offer you that role.’
Sister Berrach responded with a wide smile.
‘Then I will ensure that she has that knowledge.’
Fidelma nodded and then, glancing at Brónach, said softly: ‘Your mother should be proud that you are her child, Sister Berrach.’
Sister Brónach’s solemn face dissolved into awe.
‘You know even that?’ she gasped.
‘If you had not demonstrated your maternity by the way you keep close to Berrach and help her, the stories that you both told me were enough. You told me that your mother was Suanach. You told me that you were a member of this community, disagreeing with your mother’s adherence to the old ways. You came to this community, met someone and had a child. You felt you could not look after your daughter here and so you took her to your mother to be raised. Why did you find it so difficult to look after a child in this community? Because the child had physical problems which needed constant attention.’
Sister Brónach was pale but she held up her head defiantly.
‘It is so,’ she conceded. ‘Tell me no more truth.’
Berrach was clinging on to her mother’s arm.
‘I have known for some time. You are right, sister. My father would not help Brónach look after me. Only my grandmother helped until I was three years old. She was fostering another child then, a child who was older than I was. That child was full of malice and jealousy and in a fit of rage slew my grandmother, leaving me almost helpless. Then Brónach defied my father’s wishes and brought me back to the community and raised me — deformity and all.’
Sister Brónach grimaced.
‘The condition was that I would never identify her father. I have kept to that condition. The knowledge would not add pleasure for Berrach.’
‘I am happy in that ignorance,’ Berrach assured her. ‘It is no great loss.’
‘What is ironic is that the child who killed my mother would be allowed to enter the community also and eventually became our abbess.’