And Ellen was definitely dead, killed by cancer over the same six months that Klaus Oberfeldt lingered in a coma.
Joe and she were married for several years and couldn't have children. She worked at the local bank, and whenever possible, they had lunch together. It wasn't a complicated life. They lived in a rented apartment, didn't have pets, thought a drive to Keene was a trip to the big city. There was an ease to their existence that in hindsight seemed like tempting fate, although even now he didn't see enjoying a little peace as anything deserving of punishment. He sure as hell hadn't back then, when, after a tour of duty in combat and a few years lost in confusion and soul-searching, he'd viewed Ellen's arrival in his life as a gift.
What killed her was inflammatory breast cancer. Very rare, very lethal, and very fast.
Joe's next stop after leaving Brandt should have been his own office, above the PD in Brattleboro's municipal building. It was late in the day. He doubted that the other three special agents on his squad would be in, which was part of the appeal. Peace and quiet beckoned, especially valuable in the planning stages of a new or, in this situation, revived case.
But he walked out into the parking lot instead and drove west toward Gail's house, as if drawn by the need to compare a love he'd come to idealize with the one he enjoyed now.
He didn't think how doing this instead of going to work highlighted precisely the emotional ambiguity that Tony Brandt had just questioned.
Gail and Joe were an odd pairing, at least to most of their friends: he, the son of a farmer, a native Vermonter, and a lifelong cop; she, an urban child of privilege, an ex-hippie, a successful businesswoman. Theirs was a union in which the emotional integrity, though tested, had never faltered. Through the turmoils they'd shared, the one constant had been that love-placed on a different plane by the hard work and faith supporting it.
Which had created a curious paradox: As a result of that trust, their love had been unhitched from the standard vehicles most couples used for its care and feeding. Joe and Gail were not married, had no children, shared few common interests, did not live in the same house, and didn't even work in the same part of the state for over half of each year. Gail was a lawyer/lobbyist for Vermont's most powerful nonprofit environmental organization and spent months on end in Montpelier representing her cause.
Although, as Sheila Kelly had touched on earlier, this last detail was facing a challenge. On the heels of the retirement of one of the county's white-haired political icons, Gail had announced her intention to occupy his newly opened state senate seat.
This had hit Joe like the news that an old and crumbling dam had finally yielded to the pressures behind it. So many of her intimates had been urging Gail for years to run for statewide office-believing, quite rightly, that she'd take to it as a bird does to flight-that its occurrence had the feel of inevitability about it.
Joe's problem was that while he honored this conceptually, as he had her previous career choices, it was taking place on a whole different level. Unlike any of its forerunners, this campaign was demanding her undivided attention-forcing her to be surrounded virtually around the clock by a flock of supporters, strategists, staffers, and fund-raisers who had helped transform her from an interesting human being into someone who now ate, drank, and lived the pursuit of a single goal.
To Joe, who so cherished their few shared times alone, this sudden and complete myopia had been unsettling. From once having felt that together he and Gail could batten down the hatches during hard times, he was now feeling a bit like a partisan spectator on the fringes of a crowd.
This had been the status quo ever since she'd announced her intention to enter the primary weeks earlier. And up to now Joe had been philosophical about putting his personal needs aside. After all, this was merely a process, and not without some interesting and possibly exciting ramifications.
But that was before Matt Purvis had appeared in his life, carrying a gun from a past so laden with baggage.
For the first time in quite a while, Joe was sufficiently thrown off balance that his usual stoicism was in real need of Gail's company.
A few hundred yards beyond the I-91 overpass, he turned right onto Orchard Street and began driving uphill, his eyes to the left, hoping her broad driveway would be empty.
It wasn't, and as soon as he saw the half-dozen cars tightly packed as if awaiting a ferryboat, he wondered why he'd hoped otherwise. Had he set himself up for this disappointment on purpose, to reward his perfect memories of Ellen by contrast? He pulled over to the roadside opposite the driveway and killed the engine, silently shaking his head. These were just the kind of emotional gymnastics he usually tried to avoid.
As if to render it all moot, he swung out of the car and wended his way toward the house, looking forward to-if nothing else-being temporarily absorbed into Gail's current maelstrom of a life.
Certainly, that was alive and well, as he discovered hitting a wall of voices upon opening the back door into the kitchen.
There were three women before him, moving between restaurant-size salad fixings and a cauldron of soup and using the phone on the wall-Gail had installed four additional lines since announcing her intentions
One of them stopped talking and smiled at him as he entered. "Hi, Joe. You joining the dinner powwow?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Knew nothing about it, Brenda. Not sure I'd be of much use, anyhow. Is Gail around?"
Brenda gestured vaguely at the door leading into the rest of the large house. "We wouldn't be here without her." She paused suddenly and stared at him. "Actually, the way things are heating up, we might be. You hear about Ed Parker?"
"What about him?" he asked. Parker was a Republican drum banger and local businessman-disarmingly charming, charismatic, and popular at places like the Elks Club, Rotary, and others-who was always writing letters to the editor and talking on the radio about how the state was going to socialist hell in a handbasket. A man who'd married a seductive and appealing style to a rock-ribbed conservative message.
"The Republicans have finally sorted out their differences and made him their choice for the senate. Pretty extreme, if you ask me."
"No primary?" Joe asked.
Brenda looked amused and explained with that odd pride the Democrats have in their particular political dysfunction, "Oh, you know them: one man, one race. God forbid they give the people a choice. Anyhow, Gail is here someplace-check the living room."
He followed the growing noise-still more voices, but supplemented by the plastic tapping of keyboards and the ringing of phones.
He paused at the living room entrance, watching the activities of at least five more people. The comfortable furniture he associated with his moments with Gail-including the couch they sometimes made love on-had been replaced with desks, work tables, and a scattering of office chairs.
A young man frantically clacking on the computer stopped long enough to stare at him inquiringly. "May I help you?"
Another woman, drawn by the comment, looked up and smiled. "Joe," she said as she crossed over and gave him a hug. "I haven't seen you in ages." She nodded toward the young man. "This is my son, Aaron."
Joe shook hands, still looking around, which Aaron's mother correctly interpreted. She touched his shoulder and glanced overhead, murmuring, "She's upstairs. Go on up."
He left the living room and the noise, walked down the long hallway to the foot of the stairs, and began climbing, thinking that against all odds he might get some time with Gail after all.