‘You speak in riddles,’ he said. ‘Just when I think I have grasped the whole story, you say something that surprises me, and I am forced to realise that I haven’t yet begun to comprehend.’ He leaned towards her. ‘Won’t you confide in me?’ he asked. ‘Lady, you need help, even you must admit that. And here I am offering you mine. Will you not put your trust in me?’
There was a long pause. Then she said, ‘Yes. I will.’
Chapter Ten
‘It is a long story,’ she said, still looking up at him.
‘I have nothing else to do but listen,’ Josse replied.
‘It-I shall have to tell you many things that I would rather not.’
‘What things? There is no need to distress yourself, Joanna. No need, for my sake, to speak of matters that pain you.’
‘But there is need,’ she insisted, ‘if you are to understand.’ She lowered her eyes. ‘The things I would prefer not to have to tell you relate to myself, sir knight. To my own past. And I am reluctant because it is to you that I must tell them.’
‘I don’t see why you-’ He stopped. Yes, perhaps he did see after all. ‘Oh.’
She laughed softly. ‘Oh, indeed. I thought for a moment I was going to have to explain still further. I am reluctant, Josse, because of what I feel for you, because of what I sense you might feel for me. I am not proud of my past.’
‘Which of us is?’ he countered. ‘We have all done things, lady, which we would rather forget.’
‘Forget,’ she murmured. ‘Yes.’ She seemed to go into a reverie and, from her face, he judged it was not a happy one. Then, lifting her chin and staring into the fire, she said, ‘Ah, well, my decision is made. For better or worse, I have a tale to tell you, if you are prepared to hear it.’
Settling back in his chair, Josse said, ‘I’m listening.’
* * *
Taking a very obviously steadying breath, she began.
‘My father died just before my sixteenth birthday, in the summer of 1184. He picked up one of those wretched summer fevers — it was during a hot, sticky spell of weather and many people fell sick — and he was dead within a week. My mother took it badly. Well, I’m afraid to admit my mother took everything badly — she was never a strong woman, or so they say, and when my elder brother died in infancy, it undermined what little fortitude she once had. Father dying so unexpectedly and inconsiderately certainly did make problems for Mother, and there really wasn’t anybody she could turn to. Her own family consisted of an elderly and addled aunt who never knew if it was Christmas or Midsummer Day, and my father’s only sister was dead. Father’s side of the de Courtenay family was very much the minor branch — his uncle Hugh was the ambitious one, and he and his wife Matilda and their four surviving adult children all moved regularly and easily in court circles.’
‘One of those children being Denys de Courtenay?’ Josse asked.
‘Indeed.’ She gave him an admiring glance. ‘You are paying attention.’
‘I’m hanging on your every word,’ Josse agreed.
‘Yes, Denys was my father’s uncle Hugh’s youngest child. Hugh and Matilda had a spread-out family — I once calculated that Matilda must have spent more than twenty years bearing children. Denys came along quite a long time after his siblings — although he was cousin to my father, he’s actually only nine years older than me.’
‘And so your mother went to this more worldly branch of the family for help?’
Joanna smiled. ‘Oh, no. My mother wouldn’t have had the courage to do that. No. It so happened that word of my father’s untimely death reached court — we were, after all, related to people who moved in those circles and you know how gossip goes around.’
‘Aye, I do.’
‘Way back in her youth, my mother had once met the Queen. Henry’s queen, I mean, the lady Eleanor. The two of them spent some time together — although my mother would never have said so, I think she was briefly a lady-in-waiting.’
‘Queen Eleanor is a fine woman,’ Josse interrupted.
‘You and she are acquainted?’ He nodded. ‘I’m impressed, sir knight. As you say, a fine woman, and one ever willing to help a friend fallen on hard times. I don’t know if you will recall, but that autumn — I speak still of the year 1184, the year my father died — the King sent for Queen Eleanor, and they had a partial healing of the rift between them. Everyone said it was because Henry wanted to stop the endless squabbling and plotting among his sons and, since Queen Eleanor encouraged them in scheming against their father, then it was sensible to involve her in the peacemaking.’
‘I do remember,’ Josse said. ‘The Queen, they do say, was overjoyed to be out and about again, after her years of confinement.’
‘Do they?’ Joanna smiled. ‘I dare say they say right. The Queen, anyway, didn’t like to think of my mother shutting herself up within her own four walls, away from the world and everything in it, so she suggested to the King that my mother’s name be added to the list of summonses to be sent out for the royal Christmas festivities.’
‘A rare honour,’ Josse murmured.
‘Indeed. And, naturally, my name went on the list, too.’
‘You must have been thrilled,’ Josse remarked. ‘At that age, to be invited to a court Christmas.’
‘I was. So much so that, when Mother began to vacillate and cry that she really couldn’t face it and nobody should expect it of her, after her tragic loss. I knew I had to find a way to persuade her.’ A faint smile crossed Joanna’s face. ‘After all, there I was with two new gowns, new slippers and a jewelled headdress, and they weren’t going to get much use during a miserable Christmas spent alone with my grieving mother.’
‘What did you do?’
‘In fact, I didn’t need to do anything. The senior de Courtenay family heard of our invitation and Denys was despatched to visit us to make absolutely sure we accepted it. I imagine that they remembered what Mother was like, and had a fair idea she might decide she wasn’t up to it. They would be there, of course, but it could well reflect poorly on them if a relation did the unspeakable and rejected a royal summons.’
‘You can appreciate their point,’ Josse murmured.
‘I know. And, at the time, I was overjoyed to have someone weigh in on my side. When I got home from a ride one afternoon and found Denys busy charming my mother, I thought he’d been sent from heaven in answer to my prayers.’ Her face had gone expressionless; Josse wondered what was going through her head. ‘He was sitting on a footstool before her, one of her hands in both of his, simply oozing charm. And I, fool that I was, fell for it.’
‘You were only sixteen,’ Josse said. ‘And, I would guess, inexperienced in the ways of the world.’
‘Totally,’ Joanna agreed. ‘Although many, if not most, young women of sixteen are at least betrothed, if not wed and running their own households, my own particular circumstances meant I was not like them. And, unworldly as I was, I thought everybody must flirt with their nieces — or their cousins, whatever we were — and I took my cue from Denys. He wasn’t repellent, I’ll say that for him.’
‘So I understand.’ Josse recalled Helewise’s impression of the man. ‘And, Joanna, you were of an age to be taken in by a handsome face.’
‘Yes, perhaps. And he made me laugh. It was wonderful — I’d never had such fun as with Denys. He never seemed to take anything seriously. Of course, I realised later that that was an illusion, too. He took quite a lot of things very seriously indeed.’
‘So you went to court for Christmas?’ Josse prompted.
‘Yes. The festive season was celebrated at Windsor that year, in the newly-rebuilt apartments. My, they were superb — I’d never seen such luxury. Gorgeous hangings, the most beautiful tapestries, and colours that I hadn’t even known existed, furs all over the place to keep out the cold, and the people! Well, you probably know about court people already.’