"I am sure that she will swoon over hearing such news," Dolanna said dryly.
"She can swoon all she wants," Jesmind snorted. "I have to go. I have to penetrate the Ward before too many people are around to notice it. Just do what you can for him, Sorceress. Keep my cub sane."
"I will try," she replied gravely.
With a simple nod, Jesmind turned and left the woman standing by her bed.
It wasn't much, but it was all that she had. All that Tarrin had.
It surprised him.
Tarrin sat in the garden, watching the sun come up, unsure of what he was feeling, and what it meant.
Jesmind was a woman that never ceased to confuse him to no end. The emotional whirlwind she had always been able to create in him had only intensified with her leaving, leaving him unsure of what he felt for her. The bizarre mixture of hatred, anger, and trust and even desire he felt for his enigmatic bond-mother had been scrambled like an egg with her gone, and there was an emptiness inside him that he didn't expect every time that he thought about her.
What concerned him was how serious she seemed to be not only about him, but about his mental condition. He felt rather in control of himself, but Jesmind's concern about him made him second-guess his own confidence. He felt more than in control, since his time in cat form had ended, he'd existed in a very content peaceful state with his cat half. He'd had very little problem at all, because he understood his animal instincts much better. Now he wondered if he was in control as much as he thought. He did have to admit that her closeness had made him feel more secure, even when he wanted to tear out her throat. That was a primitive instinctual reacion and he knew it, but he was powerless to overcome it. With her gone, he felt much more vulnerable, and it was a feeling that he didn't like. Not one bit. One thing he had learned about himself was that any time he felt uncertain or uncomfortable, it fomented discord between his rational mind and his instincts. In order to maintain his balance, he was going to have to be very careful and try to remain calm and in control. Even if he wasn't in control, it was important for him to feel like he had control of his life, and that was why he had dropped a note off at Keritanima's door before coming outside. The sooner he started regaining control of his life, the better it would be for him.
One could only think for so long about things that couldn't be answered, and Tarrin was never one to dwell on negatives. He had to look forward, to the future, and come to terms with it. But one thing was for certain. With the way he felt now, he didn't want to live in the stress of the Tower's shadow for any longer than absolutely necessary. They had brought him to Suld, and at first he had been happy to come. But the reality of what was going on around him had jaded his initial optomism. He didn't like not knowing what they wanted from him, and the fact that they wouldn't come out and tell him made him feel that it wasn't something that he'd like doing very much. Tarrin's initial impression of the Keeper had been dislike. It had degenerated into distrust when she put the collar on him, and now it was bordering on rebellion because he knew that something was going on. No, not bordering. It was rebellion. Tarrin wanted no part of what the Tower was planning for him. He was brought to the Tower to learn, and from the beginning he was told that continuing to study Sorcery would be his own decision. That after he learned the basics and was no threat to the world, he was free to go. But they weren't going to let him do that, and that made him feel trapped. Tarrin didn't respond well to that feeling.
The sharp scent of Keritanima touched his nose, and he looked up from the gravel pathway. She was advancing towards him slowly, dressed a bit hastily in an Initiate dress but sleep still creeping across her features. She wasn't her usual perfect self, but then again, her Royal Highness wasn't accustomed to waking up before the sun. Tarrin had slid a note under her door, a note that her maid or one of her two bodyguards had no doubt given to her. Keritanima shared her apartment with her mink-wikuni maid, and during the night a pair of absolutely massive lizard-Wikuni guarded her door. The Keeper made Keritanima adhere to the Initiate codes, but she had been forced to make several exceptions, due to her royal lineage.
"I'm going to kill you, Tarrin," she said grumpily. "Do you have any idea how much I hate getting up in the morning?"
"You'll live," he told her. "I figured that this would be the best time to talk."
"The only reason I came out was because Jervis hasn't gotten here yet," she told him.
"Then it's best that we talk now," he told her.
"Where's Allia?"
"Still asleep," he replied. "I don't think that she's going to be a big help in what we need to talk about."
Her amber eyes gave him a penetrating look. "I take it something happened?"
He nodded. "Jesmind is gone," he told her.
"You-"
"No, nothing like that," he cut her off. "She had to go back home. But she said a few things to me that made me think, and it's something that concerns both of us."
"This master plan?" she asked, and he nodded. "Well, I guess I feel secure enough to get started," she announced. "Miranda has already made many friends among the Tower's servants."
"Miranda?"
"My maid," she replied. "Miranda knows about me, Tarrin. She's one of the reasons I'm still alive."
"You didn't mention her before."
"That's because she likes to keep it as quiet as I do," she told him. "If my father ever found out, he'd realize that Miranda would have to know the truth, and he'd probably have her executed for treason."
"I doubt that."
"You don't know my father," she said. "You said something about a Tiella?"
He nodded. "Tiella is a novice that came to the Tower with me," he said. "She can help because her daily task is to clean the Keeper's office."
Keritanima chuckled. "I think that that's definitely a help," she agreed. "But she can't rifle the Keeper's desk."
"I know," he said. "But she can pass along anything she sees in passing. Tiella has a good memory."
"I hope so," Keritanima said, tapping herself on the end of her snout with a clawed finger. "Allia told me the other day that she can understand you when you're a cat. Does that mean that you can talk to other cats?"
Tarrin blinked, and gaped at her. "How did you know that?"
"It's elementary, if you think about it," she said. "If she can communicate with you as a cat, then you must speak in some sort of language. And if you do that, then obviously cats can communicate with each other."
"I'm glad you think it's obvious," he told her.
"Then it's true."
"Without going into a long explanation, yes."
"Then why don't you ask some of the Tower's cats to give you a hand?"
"Because they're still animals, Keritanima," he told her. "Cats aren't stupid, but their intelligence isn't the same type as ours. I wouldn't know where to begin asking a cat to dig for information without guiding it step by step."
"Well, it was a thought. But it definitely means that I need a cat."
"What for?"
"Who better to send with information?" she asked with a smile. "All it takes is a hollow collar and instructions to find you. Assuming, of course, that I could make it understand to come find you."
"Now that, I could help you with," he said. "I can ask it to come find me when you say something specific to it. They don't understand the common speech, but they can learn a few words."
"Good enough," she told him, leaning back and looking at the sunrise. "Just keep it low, Tarrin. Let me handle it."
"I was planning to," he assured her. "But I'm still going to see what I can learn."
"How so?"
He extended his claws and showed them to her. "These let me get into alot of open windows," he replied calmly.