His eyes were an absolutely clear and guileless blue. He made small hand movements as he spoke. His fingers were very long, very slender.
She asked about Gretchen.
“Oh, she’s all right, I guess. You know how it is. She’s okay when she’s working, and when she’s not okay she can’t work and she goes into a down cycle. It’s the work that’s important to her. It doesn’t matter if anybody buys her pots or not, It matters in terms of money but sales don’t affect her personally, just that she’s getting the work done and likes what she’s turning out. This is good coffee.”
“It’s a tricky recipe. The hard part is boiling the water.”
“I can imagine. Say, why I dropped in. I was over at the Playhouse and Marc wasn’t around, and I thought he might be here. Which he obviously isn’t. Is he coming back here before the show or should I catch him over there?”
She put down her cup, got a cigarette out of the pack, dropped it, picked it up, got it lit.
She said, “No.”
“No he won’t be here?”
“No he won’t be here and no you can’t catch him there.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, shit,” she said. She stood up and got the note from the sofa. “Annie doesn’t live here anymore,” she said.
“I must have missed the opening credits.”
“Any luck and you could have missed the whole movie. Here.”
He started to read the note. “Oh, wow,” he said. He finished reading it and held it out to her. She took it from him, folded it neatly.
“What do I say, Linda? Hell. I picked a great time to knock on the door.”
“No, I’m glad for the company.”
“How are you taking it? I’m full of stupid questions. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be silly. No, I seem to be taking it pretty well. I suppose I’ll fall apart in a little while but maybe not. As a matter of fact, I was feeling really rotten all afternoon, and I came home to the note and immediately felt better.”
“Maybe you were picking up vibes this afternoon.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been very terrific at picking, up vibes.”
“Well, maybe — oh, shit.”
“What’s the matter?”
“He’s supposed to be lighting a show tonight. Marc. I don’t think he told anybody. It’s almost seven and the curtain’s at eight thirty and — can I use your phone?”
“Sure.”
“Just to call the Playhouse. Tony’s going to shit when he hears this.”
She paid little attention to the conversation. It did not much surprise her that Marc would leave without telling anyone at the theater. He had always been the sort to take his responsibilities seriously only while they affected him personally. Once he was out of New Hope, whatever difficulties his absence might cause simply would not occur to him.
Peter said, “Well, that’s a break. At least I think it is.”
“What?”
“They’re going to let me light the show.”
“That’s great.”
“I’ve done a couple of matinee performances of other shows, and I handled the board once during rehearsals of this one, so it shouldn’t be too rough. The thing is, I might get to do it regularly if it goes all right tonight.”
“You’ll be good.”
“I don’t have to be fantastic. Tony knows I’ll work for less than he would have to pay anybody else. I don’t know what Marc was getting but it must have been around eighty.”
“You’re close. He was getting eighty-five and felt he should have been getting a hundred and a half.”
“Josh Logan couldn’t get a hundred and a half out of Tony. He was doing good to get eighty-five. Now if he offers me the job, and he probably will, I’ll get fifty.”
“You shouldn’t take that little.”
“Well, I could probably get sixty if I fought, but I probably won’t fight. I should, but I probably won’t.” The boyish face flashed a smile. “The money doesn’t really matter. Gretch always has enough. I want to do the work, see. A few dollars one way or the other doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“That’s the trouble with the theater. Everybody wants the work.”
“And a son of a bitch like Tony gets away with slave wages. That’s why we have to scrounge, which leads to a question. How’s my chances of scrounging another cup of coffee?”
“Don’t you have to get over to the theater?”
“I have half an hour. Coffee keys me up and I want to be keyed up tonight. What I was going to do, I was going to go downstairs and take a pill, and I thought if I had another cup, I could get away without taking the pill. I don’t like to take uppers too much because I like them too much, if you follow me.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You’re going to be okay, Linda.”
“I am?” She looked at him thoughtfully. “You’re right,” she said. “I was wondering about that before you came up. If I was going to be all right. And I think I am.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to stay here in New Hope.” She tilted her head back and gazed up at the ceiling. “Do you know, I didn’t know that until just this minute. I thought about going home or going back to New York, and I hardly considered staying here, but I’m going to. I came here last fall because Marc wanted to come here, but from the first day I liked it more than he did. Just because he’s left is no reason I should leave, is it?”
“No. I think you’re right to stay.”
“I think this is an easier place to be alone in.”
“Well, New York is supposed to be impossible.”
“Oh, it is. And I’ve had practice being alone here. The past few months.”
“I didn’t know it was bad.”
“Nobody ever knows. When I was married. Well, forget that.”
“Sure.”
“Why read something that’s gonna depress you?”
“Huh?”
“Nothing. Something someone said to me this afternoon, and she was absolutely right. I’m sorry, Peter, I’m talking to myself.”
“Say, I don’t suppose — no, of course not.”
“Now you’re talking to yourself.”
“No, the reason I was looking for Marc. He was going to sell me some dope, but he must have taken it with him.”
“He took his clothes. And all the records and the player. He’d leave those before he’d abandon the grass.”
“That’s what I figured.”
“Let me look, though.” She went into the bathroom. “It must be still here. He kept it in the towel bar and he wouldn’t have taken the trouble to put the bar back afterward. He would have left it on the floor. There’s a screwdriver in that drawer on the left. Thanks.”
She removed the bracket and took out the hollow chrome towel bar, tilted it and shook out a plastic vial three-fourths full. “Here,” she said.
“Oh, this is all cleaned. This must be the equivalent of an ounce and a half, maybe two ounces.”
“Take it.”
“I just wanted enough for a couple of jays. In fact, I was going to smoke now, but I don’t want to be behind grass when I’m lighting the show. Later on when I’m used to it I could dig it, but not when I’m under pressure like tonight. I could take a pinch of it now to save for later.”
“No, take the whole thing.”
“You don’t want it?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t been smoking much. Sometimes I would keep Marc company if he insisted. But I haven’t enjoyed it lately. My head keeps going to places I’d rather stay away from.”
“Well, if you’re sure. This is, I don’t know. Say thirty dollars? It’s probably worth a little more than that, but does thirty seem all right.”
“Oh, just take it, Peter.”
“No, I can’t do that.”
“I mean I’m not in the business.”