Instead, they were able to tell him exactly what he‘d just been through. He was stunned to realize that he‘d known the explanation all along. The elders gave him as much information as they could, but, as none of them had ever personally experienced being a werewolf, their instruction was incomplete. They told Sam that he could expect new werewolves to join him as they became old enough, and that he would have to keep everything he now knew a secret. They also told him that vampires were real, living just a few miles from the tribe, and responsible for what was happening to him.
The idea that his friends and family were in danger from real-life vampires made him furious.
Sam was relieved to know he wasn‘t insane, and comforted by the fact that at least three people understood. But being a literal werewolf seemed to him only slightly better than being insane. He took his responsibility toward the tribe very seriously from the outset. The idea that his friends and family were in danger from real-life vampires made him furious. He started practicing his phasing and trying to control it, but coming at it blind and alone, he made only slow progress.
His relationship with his mother and Leah remained difficult because he couldn‘t give them any information about what had happened or where he was now spending his time. His mother was somewhat reassured because he was with the elders so often; she felt he was in good hands, at least. Leah, on the other hand, refused to be placated. She demanded answers that Sam couldn‘t give. The relationship was very strained, but not broken. They loved each other too much to let a fight, no matter how serious, come between them. Hundreds of times Sam was tempted to just tell her the truth. The knowledge that she would never believe him helped him keep his secret. He swore to her that he was not involved in anything criminal, and also that there was no other woman. They still spent as much time together as possible, though it was less than before. The elders warned him to keep his distance, but he didn‘t fully understand the danger; he‘d never seen the transformation from the outside.
Not long after his own transformation, Jared Cameron and then Paul Lahote also phased for the first time. The elders kept watch over the tribe and called Sam whenever they thought there was something going on. For example, when Jared failed to come home one night, Jared‘s father called Billy for help. Billy contacted Sam; Sam phased and located Jared. Sam was able to coach Jared and Paul through the difficult transition. They bonded through shared experience and their mutual secret. They became extremely close and spent most of their time together. They were able to help one another when one of them got angry.
Then Leah‘s cousin Emily Young came for a weekend visit. It wasn‘t an unusual event; Sam had met Emily several times during his years with Leah. He liked Emily, and he liked that Emily was a good friend to Leah. Sam knew the stories about imprinting, and he now believed that — like the werewolf stories — they were based in fact. However, he never imagined that imprinting would affect his own life. When he arrived at the Clearwaters‘ that night, Leah met Sam at the front door and led him to the yard, where the rest of the family was chatting while Harry barbecued. He was still holding hands with Leah when he saw Emily.
That one second of staring into Emily‘s eyes changed his life more than anything he‘d ever experienced — including phasing into a werewolf for the first time.
That one second of staring into Emily‘s eyes changed his life more than anything he‘d ever experienced — including phasing into a werewolf for the first time. His first impulse was to go to Emily‘s side. As he dropped Leah‘s hand and walked toward Emily, he started to realize what had just happened and began to process the consequences. Before he could reach out and touch Emily‘s hand, which he felt compelled to do, he turned abruptly and left without a word.
They had turned him into a traitor and a liar.
He wasn‘t able to go far. Every step he took away from Emily was physically painful. He paced the block, trying to understand and to formulate a plan. He knew for certain that the way he felt about Emily would never change, and that his life would not be bearable without her near.
He also knew that while he still loved Leah the same way he had before, it was irrelevant compared to how he felt about Emily. And it broke his heart that he was going to have to break Leah‘s. In that moment, he began to truly loathe the Cullens. They had turned him into a traitor and a liar. At the same time, he couldn‘t bring himself to hate his feelings for Emily; they felt too right, too pure.
Sam returned to the Clearwaters‘ several hours later. Getting closer to Emily was a physical relief, though he was consumed with guilt over what he had to do. He asked Sue to send Leah outside; he was afraid of how he would react to seeing Emily again, although he wanted nothing more. When Leah came out, he was direct. He told her he had to break up with her. He cried. Leah assumed it had something to do with Sam‘s many secrets, and while she was devastated, she had hope for the future. She told him she wasn‘t giving up on him. He told her she needed to. But he couldn‘t bring himself to mention Emily.
Sam spent the longest two days of his life waiting for Emily to return to her home in Neah Bay. He forced himself to keep his distance while she was with Leah, determined to keep from hurting Leah any more than was absolutely unavoidable. Emily was very surprised to see Sam, having heard about the breakup. She was horrified when he explained that he had broken up with Leah in order to be with her. She told him to leave. He did what she wanted, but was unable to stay away for long. He tried to talk to her again, and Emily heard him out. He told her all his secrets, because she wanted to know them. She didn‘t believe any of it, and demanded that he show her. So he followed her into the forest and phased. At that point, she had to believe everything, but she told him she still couldn‘t accept his feelings for her. But she didn‘t order him to leave and never come back. So he returned, and they continued to argue. Emily wanted him to go back to Leah and try to make it work; Sam said that would be living a lie, that he would be hurting Leah more — did Emily want that?
Emily was fascinated by the fantasy of it all — the reality of the legends, the danger of the vampires, all of it.
Many of these conversations took place in the woods outside of Neah Bay. While Emily continued to have many problems with Sam‘s behavior, she respected the secrecy he had to maintain, so they discussed these things only in private. And Emily was fascinated by the fantasy of it all — the reality of the legends, the danger of the vampires, all of it. Sam, thrilled to please her, described everything in detail. She even met the other members of the pack. But then she heard that rumors were circulating about her behavior. She realized how much time she‘d been spending with Sam, and recognized what that would look like to Leah. Furious with herself, she lashed out at Sam. She met him in the woods and told him that he had to stay away from her.
Knowing he would have to obey if it would make her happy, Sam despaired. Next she ordered him to go back to Leah. This Sam could not agree to; he would not hurt Leah further by pretending. He told Emily it was impossible for him to love Leah the way he loved Emily, and he wouldn‘t ask Leah to settle that way. Emily couldn‘t doubt that Sam truly cared for Leah‘s well-being, but that only made her angrier about her own behavior. She called him a liar and shoved him away. She told him that he was just like his father, that he was running away from his responsibilities like Joshua had.