Probably, because I‘m a coward, I would have jumped back under the covers and said: [high, squeaky voice] ―I‘m not ready!‖ [Laughs]
I was never really sure where I wanted to be in ten years, but Bella knows.
SH: I guess that‘s why it‘s good that we don‘t know what‘s going to happen in advance. I mean, if Bella had known everything that was going to happen…
SM: See, Bella would have gone through it exactly the same way. I know what my characters would do. They‘re very, very real to me. I know what they would say if I had a conversation with them. I know if I said this, Jacob would respond like this. And even if he knew exactly how it was going to end, and all of his efforts were going to be for naught, he would not change one tiny thing he did. Because he wouldn‘t be able to say to himself: Well, at least I tried.
He needed to know that he did everything that he could — because that‘s who he is.
And Bella wouldn‘t change anything, either, because eventually, she was going to get what she wanted, and what she wanted her life to be. And if you‘re very sure about what you want from your life, if you‘re absolutely positive — then you can make that decision and say: ―I won‘t make any changes, because this is what I want.‖
I never had that kind of absolute certainty and focus in regular everyday things when I was a teenager — I was never really sure where I wanted to be in ten years, but Bella knows. And so she walks through it the way a person walks across hot coals — because they know what they want on the other side. [Laughs]
SH: What‘s the most important thing for you to get out of the writing? Why do you do it?
SM: Originally, I wrote because I was compelled. I mean, it wasn‘t even like a choice.
Once I started, it was just… I had to do it. It was similar to the way, when you start a book that‘s really good or extremely suspenseful, you can‘t put it down. At the dinner table, you have it under your leg — and you‘re peeking down there, so your husband won‘t catch you reading while you‘re eating dinner. It‘s like until you know what happens, you‘ll have no peace.
And there was a great deal of joy in that — although it wasn‘t a calm kind of joy. [Laughs]
There was also some frenzy.
I wrote the rest of the books because I was so in love with the characters in the story that it was a happy place to be. But by then, I had to become a little bit more calculated about the writing process. I spent more time figuring out the best ways to proceed… like how outlines work for me, or is it better to write out of order, or in order? I‘m still working on my ways. But it‘s still for the joy, when I actually sit down and write.
You know, there‘s a lot of other stuff you have to do as a writer — with editing and touring and answering a million e-mails a day… all of that stuff that‘s a grind and feels like work. But when I get away from that, and when I‘m just writing again — and I have to forget everything else in the world — then it‘s for the joy of it again.
SH: And, you know, it‘s funny, because I totally agree. But you meet some writers who are not yet published — and they‘re so anxious and earnest and need to have that first publication come. What I want to say to them is: Don‘t hurry it.
SM: Yeah.
You miss being able to write in a vacuum — where it‘s just you and the story, and there‘s no one that‘s ever going to say anything about it.
SH: The reason you‘re a writer is because you‘re telling stories. And everything that comes after publication has nothing to do with why you‘re a writer. The business stuff, like you said, and the anxiety of how the book is doing and the publicity — and, you know, dealing with negative reviews or negative fan reactions — all that stuff is not really what you‘re yearning for.
What you‘re yearning for is the story. And the best thing to do is just enjoy that process and that journey.
SM: And you miss it when it‘s gone. You miss being able to write in a vacuum — where it‘s just you and the story, and there‘s no one that‘s ever going to say anything about it. I find that I can‘t write unless I put myself in that vacuum.
SH: But the characters have to almost come in on their own….
SM: I know. You have that experience of a character talking in your head, where you don‘t feel like you‘re giving them the words. You‘re hearing what they‘re saying, and it sounds like it‘s the first time you‘re hearing it, and you‘re just writing it down. Unless you have that experience, you can‘t understand that this is actually a rational way to be. [Laughs]
SH: I know, I know. Not that anybody who chooses to write books for a living is actually rational…
On Endings and Inevitability
And so the endings, to me, are always inevitable. You get to a point where there‘s no other way it can go.
SH: I think that, with certain kinds of stories, if you preplan a happy ending, it feels so false. I have had a couple stories like that, where I decided: This is not going to be the happy ending people are going to want, but we‟re just going to have to live with it. And then a character swoops in or something happens to change the problem and take it out of my hands. I think that kind of ending can feel more real and satisfying. You can‘t force it, though.
SM: No. Usually, the endings become impossible to avoid, because of whatever is growing in the story. There‘s nothing you can do after it‘s set in motion — it just keeps going.
Sometimes I don‘t see something changing at first. It‘s like… say, when you change direction by one degree, and you end up on a completely different continent, even though you turned just the slightest bit. Things like that‘ll happen that change the course. But by the time you get to the end, there‘s no… there‘s no more leeway for changes.
And so the endings, to me, are always inevitable. You get to a point where there‘s no other way it can go. If I tried to do something different, I think it would feel really unnatural. But I rarely try. [Laughs] It‘s like: Let‘s just let this be what it is. This is the way the story goes.
It gets complicated because, as the author, I see the first-person perspective from more than one person‘s perspective.
SH: Now, with New Moon, there was a way that it could have ended that was very different. And what changed the course of those events was happenstance.
SM: It wasn‘t altogether happenstance — whether you‘re referring to the paper cut or the cliff-jump or what have you. With the characters being who they are, it‘s only a matter of time before Bella bleeds near Jasper, and then the outcome is inevitable. It‘s only a matter of time before Bella finds a way to express her need for adrenaline in a way that nearly kills her, and it‘s pretty good odds that Jacob will be somewhere close to Bella at that time, clouding up Alice‘s visions.
It gets complicated because, as the author, I see the first-person perspective from more than one person‘s perspective. I started writing Bella in the beginning, but there are several voices that are first-person perspective for me while I‘m writing. So I know everything that‘s going on with those people. Sometimes it‘s hard for me to write from Bella‘s perspective only, because Bella can only know certain things. And so much of that story was first-person-perspective Edward for me.