5. EVANESCENCE, ―MY IMMORTAL‖
Chapter 5 As if he‟d never existed, I thought in despair. What a stupid and impossible promise to make! He could steal my pictures and reclaim his gifts, but that didn‘t put things back the way they‘d been before I‘d met him. The physical evidence was the most insignificant part of the equation. I was changed, my insides altered almost past the point of recognition.
6. KEANE, ―EVERYBODY‘S CHANGING‖
Chapter 6 I was beginning to get annoyed with myself. I might as well have been packed in Styrofoam peanuts through the last semester.
7. AUDIOSLAVE, ―LIKE A STONE‖
Chapter 7 I didn‘t go any closer. I didn‘t want to look in the windows. I wasn‘t sure which would be harder to see. If the rooms were bare, echoing empty from floor to ceiling, that would certainly hurt. Like my grandmother‘s funeral, when my mother had insisted that I stay outside during the viewing. She had said that I didn‘t need to see Gran that way, to remember her that way, rather than alive.
But wouldn‘t it be worse if there were no change? If the couches sat just as I‘d last seen them, the paintings on the walls — worse still, the piano on its low platform? It would be second only to the house disappearing all together, to see that there was no physical possession that tied them in anyway. That everything remained, untouched and forgotten, behind them.
Just like me.
8. U2, ―STUCK IN A MOMENT YOU CAN‘T GET OUT OF‖
Chapter 7 I‘d come full circle, and now everything felt like an echo — an empty echo, devoid of the interest it used to have.
9. SALIVA, ―REST IN PIECES‖
Chapter 9 How could I explain so that he would understand? I was an empty shell. Like a vacant house — condemned — for months I‘d been utterly uninhabitable. Now I was a little improved. The front room was in better repair. But that was all — just the one small piece. He deserved better than that — better than a one-room, falling-down fixer-upper. No amount of investment on his part could put me back in working order.
10. COLLECTIVE SOUL, ―NOT THE ONE‖
Chapter 13 ―Is that what happened? Why the Cullens left?‖
―I‘m nothing but a human, after all. Nothing special.‖
―I‘m nothing but a human, after all. Nothing special,‖ I explained, shrugging weakly.
11. BLINK 182, ―I MISS YOU‖
Chapter 15 ―Bella.‖
I smiled and exhaled.
Yes? I didn‘t answer out loud, for fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion. He sounded so real, so close. It was only when he was disapproving like this that I could hear the true memory of his voice — the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of all voices.
―Don‘t do this,‖ he pleaded.
You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well, watch me.
―Please. For me.‖
But you won‟t stay with me any other way.
―Please.‖ It was just a whisper in the blowing rain that tossed my hair and drenched my clothes — making me as wet as if this were my second jump of the day.
12. MUSE, ―UNINTENDED‖
Chapter 16 I couldn‘t imagine my life without Jacob now — I cringed away from the idea of even trying to imagine that. Somehow, he‘d become essential to my survival. But to leave things the way they were… was that cruel, as Mike had accused?
I remembered wishing that Jacob were my brother. I realized now that all I really wanted was a claim on him. It didn‘t feel brotherly when he held me like this. It just felt nice — warm and comforting and familiar. Safe. Jacob was a safe harbor.
I could stake a claim. I had that much within my power.
I would never want anything but him, no matter how long I lived.
13. DIDO, ―WHITE FLAG‖
Chapter 20 I‘d never seen anything more beautiful — even as I ran, gasping and screaming, I could appreciate that. And the last seven months meant nothing. And his words in the forest meant nothing. And it did not matter if he did not want me. I would never want anything but him, no matter how long I lived.
14. HOOBASTANK, ―THE REASON‖
Edward‘s perspective
Chapter 23 ―I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you — keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn‘t thought you would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I‘m much too selfish. Only you could be more important than what I wanted… what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I‘ll never be strong enough to leave again.‖
Eclipse
1. ELBOW, ―MEXICAN STANDOFF‖
Jacob‘s perspective
Chapter 1 ―What part of ‗mortal enemies‘ is too complicated for you…?‖
2. COLDPLAY, ―CLOCKS‖
Chapter 1 ―I thought the timing was still undecided,‖ Edward reminded me softly. ―You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you‘ve never had.‖
―I‘ll get to those afterward.‖
―They won‘t be human experiences afterward. You don‘t get a second chance at humanity, Bella.‖
3. BLUE OCTOBER, ―OVERWEIGHT‖ [RADIO EDIT]
Jacob‘s perspective
―If Jacob hadn‘t helped me… I‘m not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward.‖
Chapter 1 ―Please just listen for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in pain.‖ My voice distorted around the word. ―I can‘t not try to help him — I can‘t give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he‘s not human all the time… Well, he was there for me when I was… not so human myself. You don‘t know what it was like…. ‖ I hesitated. Edward‘s arms were rigid around me; his hands were in fists now, the tendons standing out. ―If Jacob hadn‘t helped me… I‘m not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward.‖
4. KEANE, ―HAMBURG SONG‖
Jacob‘s perspective
Chapter 3 Jacob dropped the antagonistic façade completely. It was like he‘d forgotten Edward was there, or at least he was determined to act that way. ―I miss you every day, Bella.
It‘s not the same without you.‖
5. THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS, ―STAB MY BACK‖