“Stop,” I said, but I was smiling then; I couldn’t help it. She leaned down closer to me, and I felt my smile falter as I could see just how thin she was, her skin yellowing underneath the makeup she’d carefully applied. How I could see the veins in her face, the ones that we must all have—but on the rest of us they were hidden, not exposed where they shouldn’t be.
How the press conference had gone on longer than they’d expected, how my mother had left me to go stand with my dad when he started talking about her. It had all been about her, after all—the reason he was pulling his name from consideration for vice president, despite the fact that it was going to be him, everyone knew that. It was supposed to be him. How hard I’d fought not to cry, standing alone, knowing even then that if I did, that would be the story, the picture on the front page. And when it was over, how my dad had given me a hug and promised me that was that, and I’d never have to go through another one of those again.
“Really,” I said now, my voice coming out sharper than I’d expected. My dad blinked at me, and I held his gaze for a moment, wondering if he even remembered the last time we’d done this, or if they all blended together, just another promise he’d made that he couldn’t actually keep. “Because I’ve heard that before.”
I didn’t want to see if he understood what I meant. I wasn’t sure I could take another fake furrowed brow, not about something like this. So I just gave him a nod and headed into the kitchen, walking twice as fast as usual, ready to put all of this far behind me, and suddenly feeling, for the very first time, that nobody gave rats the credit they deserved for abandoning the sinking ships. They were the smart ones, getting out while they still could. After all, they saw the way things were going, and they were just looking out for themselves. And so was I.
PALMER
Andie!! How are you doing?
BRI
You looked great on CNN.
TOBY
Totally great. Did you do that thing with the curling iron? Remember, the thing you promised months ago to teach me?
BRI
Toby.
TOBY
What? I’m trying to say she looked good. And that I would like to as well.
PALMER
How are you holding up?
In the safety of my own room, I looked down at my phone and felt myself really smile for what I was certain was the first time that day. I could see Peter had been right to keep my phone away from me—it looked like these texts had started right around the time my dad’s speech was wrapping up.
I crossed over to my bed, phone in hand. We’d been in this house five years, but my room hadn’t changed a whole lot since the day we’d moved in. It had been professionally decorated, but by someone who clearly didn’t know they were designing for a middle schooler. It was all taupes and beiges and subtle patterns, everything matching, like a bedroom suite had just been picked whole out of a catalog. After all this time, it still sometimes felt like I was sleeping in a hotel. I had my makeup and jewelry organized on my dresser, framed pictures of my friends, and clothes folded on the chair in the corner, but aside from that, there was very little that marked this room as mine. I flopped down onto the bed, kicking my shoes off and settling back against the throw pillows, getting comfortable, since these text chains could go on for hours.
I glanced down at the last text, Palmer’s, and hesitated, my hand over the keypad. I leaned closer to the window that was above my bed—it was open slightly, and I could hear voices drifting up to me. I looked out and saw the press conference had wrapped up. People were wandering around the lawn, and there was no sign of either Peter or the podium.
I turned my back on everything that was happening outside, hoping that maybe the next time I looked, everyone would be gone, the flattened grass the last reminder of what had taken place there only a few hours before.
ME
I’m fine.
PALMER
Really?
BRI
REALLY?
TOBY
ME
Totally fine. The press conference was a pain,
but it’s my dad’s issue, not mine.
BRI
Hm.
ME
What?
TOBY
She’s saying she doesn’t believe you.
PALMER
How can you tell?
BRI
No, Toby’s right. I don’t. But we can discuss it later.
ME
There’s nothing to discuss
BRI
Yes there is
TOBY
And when we discuss it, why don’t you also show me
the curling iron thing?
PALMER
Toby, I thought we were going to be supportive.
TOBY
I AM being supportive! I even tried to drive over
and be there for Andie, but the guard at the
gate wouldn’t let me in.
ME
He wouldn’t let you in?
TOBY
No! Something about needing to be on a list,
national security, I don’t know.
ME
Sorry, T. This should be back to normal as
soon as all the press is gone
TOBY
Well, I was offended. He knows me, after all.
We go way back, me and Ronnie.
PALMER
His name’s Earl.
TOBY
Oh.
PALMER
But anyway!
We’re going out tonight.
ME
We are?
BRI
We are. We voted, and it’s a necessity.
TOBY
Absolutely. That’s what I tried to tell Ronnie.
PALMER
Earl.
BRI
There’s a party. We’re all going.
We think you need it after everything that’s happened.
I turned and looked out the window again, at the press corps that weren’t leaving nearly as quickly as I wanted them to. There were now reporters lined up in front of the house, cameras pointed at them, no doubt recapping what had just occurred. It didn’t seem like I was going to be leaving unnoticed any time soon.
ME
I’m not so sure that’s going to happen, guys.
TOBY
PALMER
No, it totally will!
BRI
Don’t worry
PALMER
We figured it out.
ME
But the press are still all over this place.
We’d need a way to get me out of here unseen. . . .
Don’t know how that’s possible.
TOBY
Andie, RELAX. We have a plan.
I looked down at that sentence, feeling a tiny stab of nervousness. The fact that nobody would tell me what exactly this plan was had me concerned. Especially if Toby was the brains behind it. I moved a little closer to my window, still trying to keep myself out of sight, and pushed it open more. There must have been a reporter doing her recap practically right beneath me, because suddenly I could hear it crystal clear, her miked voice traveling straight up to me.
“The last time the congressman was the focus of this much attention was five years ago, when, due to his wife’s failing health, he withdrew his name abruptly from Governor Matthew Laughlin’s unsuccessful presidential campaign, despite the fact he was seen as the front-runner for the VP slot. His wife, Molly Walker, died from ovarian cancer six weeks later. It’s unclear what this latest upset means for the congressman’s future—”
I slammed the window, shutting out the reporter on the lawn, and picked up my phone again.
ME
A party actually sounds great.
Let’s do it.