"Jondalar," she said, "I did not know that word, but I know the meaning of the word. I have known the meaning of that word since you came, and the longer you were here, the more I knew it. So many times I have wished for the word to say that meaning." She closed her eyes, but the tears of relief and joy would not stay back. "Jondalar, I love, too."
He stood up, bringing her with him, and kissed her tenderly, holding her like some newfound treasure that he didn't want to break or lose. She put her arms around his chest and held him as though he were a dream that might fade if she let go. He kissed her mouth, and her face salty with tears, and, when she laid her head against him, he buried his face in her tangled golden hair to dry his own eyes.
He could not speak. He could only hold her and marvel at his incredible luck in finding her. He'd had to travel to the far ends of the earth to find a woman he could love, and nothing was going to make him let her go now.
"Why not just stay here? This valley has so much. With two of us, it will be so much easier. We have the spear throwers, and Whinney is a help. Racer will be, too," Ayla said.
They were walking through the field for no purpose other than to talk. They had picked all the seeds she wanted to pick; hunted and dried enough meat to last through the winter; gathered and stored the ripening fruits, and roots, and other plants for food and medicine; and collected a variety of materials for winter projects. Ayla wanted to try decorating clothing, and Jondalar, thought he'd carve some gaming pieces and teach Ayla how to play. But the true joy for Ayla was that Jondalar loved her – she would not be alone.
"It is a beautiful valley," Jondalar said. Why not stay here with her? Thonolan was willing to stay with Jetamio, he thought. But it wasn't just the two of them. How long could he stand it with no one else? Ayla had lived alone, for three years. They wouldn't have to be alone. Look at Dalanar. He started a new Cave, but in the beginning he had only Jerika, and her mother's mate, Hochaman. More people joined them later, and children were born. They are already planning a Second Cave of the Lanzadonii. Why can't you found a new Cave, like Dalanar? Maybe you can, Jondalar, but whatever you do, it won't be without Ayla.
"You need to know other people, Ayla, and I want to take you home with me. I know it would be a long Journey, but I think we could make it in a year. You'd like my mother, and I know Marthona would like you. And so would my brother, Joharran, and my sister, Folara – she must be a young woman by now. And Dalanar."
Ayla bowed her head, then looked up again. "How much will they like me when they find out my people were the Clan? Will they welcome me when they learn I have a son, who was born when I lived with them, who is abomination to them?"
"You can't hide from people for the rest of your life. Didn't the woman… Iza… didn't she tell you to find your own kind? She was right, you know. It won't be easy – I can't keep the truth from you. Most people don't know the Clan people are human. But you made me understand, and there are others who wonder. Most people are decent, Ayla. Once they get to know you, they will like you. And I'll be with you."
"I don't know. Can't we think about it?"
"Of course we can," he said. We can't start on a long Journey until spring, he was thinking. We could get as far as the Sharamudoi before winter sets it, but we can winter here as well. It would give her some time to get used to the idea.
Ayla smiled with genuine relief and stepped up her pace. She had been dragging her feet physically as well as mentally. She knew he was missing his family, and his people, and if he decided to go, she would go with him no matter where he went. She hoped, though, that after settling down for the winter he might want to stay and make his home in the valley with her.
They were far from the stream, almost up the slope to the steppes, when Ayla stooped to pick up a vaguely familiar object.
"It's my aurochs horn!" she said to Jondalar, brushing off the dirt and noticing the charred inside. "I used it to carry my fire. I found it while I was traveling, after I left the Clan." Memories flooded back. "And I carried a coal in it to light the torches to help me chase the horses into my first pit trap. It was Whinney's dam that was caught, and when the hyenas went after her foal, I chased them away and brought her to the cave. So much has happened since then."
"Many people carry fire when they travel, but with the firestones, we don't have to worry about it." His brow suddenly furrowed, and Ayla knew he was thinking. "We're stocked up, aren't we? There's nothing more we need to do."
"No, we don't need anything."
"Then why don't we make a Journey? A short Journey," he added when he saw her distress. "You haven't explored the area to the west. Why don't we take some food and tents and sleeping furs, and look it over? We don't have to go far."
"What about Whinney and Racer?"
"We'll take them with us. Whinney can even carry us part of the time, and maybe the food and gear. It would be fun, Ayla. Just the two of us," he said.
Traveling for fun was new to her, and hard to accept, but she couldn't think of any objections. "I suppose we could," she said. "Just the two of us… why not?" It might not be a bad idea to explore more of the country to the west, she thought.
"The dirt is not as deep back here," Ayla said, "but it's the best place for a cache, and we can use some of the fallen rocks."
Jondalar held the torch higher to spread the flickering light farther. "Several small caches, don't you think?"
"So if an animal breaks into one, he won't get everything. Good idea."
Jondalar moved the light to see into some of the crannies among the fallen rocks in the far corner of the cave. "I looked back here once. I thought I saw signs of cave lion."
"This was Baby's place. I saw cave lion signs before I moved in, too. Much older. I thought it was a sign from my totem to stop traveling and stay for the winter. I didn't think I would stay so long. Now I think I was supposed to wait here for you. I think the Cave Lion spirit guided you here, and then chase you so your totem would be strong enough for mine."
"I always thought of Doni as my guiding spirit."
"Maybe She guided you, but I think the Cave Lion chose you."
"You may be right. The spirits of all creatures are Doni's, the cave lion is Hers, too. The ways of the Mother are mysterious."
"The Cave Lion is a hard totem to live with, Jondalar. His tests have been difficult – I wasn't always sure I would live – but his gifts have made them worth it. I think his greatest gift to me is you," she finished in a soft voice.
He stuffed the torch in a crack, then took the woman he loved in his arms. She was so open, and honest, and when he kissed her she responded so eagerly that he almost gave in to his wanting of her.
"We have to stop this," he said, holding her shoulders to put a space between them, "or we'll never get ready to leave. I think you have Haduma's touch?
"What is Haduma's touch?"
"Haduma was an old woman we met, the mother of six generations, and greatly revered by her descendants. She had many of the Mother's powers. The men believed that if she touched their manhood, it would make them able to rise as often as they wished, to satisfy any woman, or many of them. Most men wish for that. Some women know ways to encourage men. All you have to do is get close to me, Ayla. This morning, last night. How many times yesterday? And the day before? I've never been able, or wanted to so much. But if we stop now, we'll never finish the caches this morning."
They cleared away rubble, levered aside some large boulders, and decided where to establish caches. As the day progressed, Jondalar thought Ayla seemed unusually quiet and withdrawn, and he wondered if it was anything he had said or done. Maybe he shouldn't seem so eager. It was hard to believe she was so ready for him every time he wanted her.