"I thought you had no debts."
"Didn't you pay attention to Cicero in court today? I don't even keep ledger books, Gordianus! All my finances are in Papa's name." "I see. Technically, you have no debts."
"That's how it works nowadays. But like I said, all the debts are paid off."
"Even the ones you owed to Pompey?"
He hesitated for only a moment.
"Even those."
"But not repaid with coin?"
"No. With services rendered."
Next to him, Licinius and Asicius stiffened. "Caelius!" said Asicius. Caelius laughed. "Don't worry, the trials are over. Your trial, Asicius, and my trial, and we are both as innocent as lambs."
"You should learn how to shut up, Caelius!" snapped Licinius. "Shut up about what?" I said.
"Oh, my friends think I talk too much. But where's the danger now? I'm free!"
"Then perhaps you could set my mind at rest about a few things," I said.
Licinius and Asicius fidgeted, but Caelius smiled blandly at me. "Why not?" Next to him Catullus stared obliviously into space and moved his lips, composing a poem in his head, perhaps.
"Do you remember when I last saw you, Caelius, here at the tavern? You swore to me by the shades of your ancestors that you didn't murder Dio."
"Yes, I remember. I told you the truth."
"And you swore that it wasn't Asicius, either."
"Also true."
"But when I asked where you were and what you were up to on the night Dio died, you refused to tell me."
"How could I tell you, with the trial still pending-" "Caelius, shut up!" snapped Asicius.
"I believe you," I said, "when you swear that you didn't kill Dio. It's my belief that he died of poison. And yet, someone broke into Coponius's house that night, and Dio was found with stab wounds in his chest. Can you explain that, Caelius?"
"Now you bring up a very interesting point,"
Caelius said, raising one eyebrow, "and as a matter of fact-"
"Caelius, you fool, shut up!"
"Relax, Asicius. The trial is over, and Gordianus can be trusted with the truth. Can't you, Gordianus? Swear to me by the shade of your father that you'll keep secret what I'm about to tell you."
I hesitated only a moment. "I swear."
"Caelius, you're an idiot!" Asicius stamped his foot and angrily left the room. Licinius stayed behind, looking around warily for eavesdroppers. Catullus stared blankly into his cup.
"Asicius! What an ass. He always was death to a good conversation." Caelius smiled. "Where were we?"
"The night Dio died-"
"Ah, yes. Well, it was the oddest thing. You see, I was supposed to kill Dio. It's exactly as you had it figured, I'm sure. King Ptolemy wanted to get rid of Dio, and so did Pompey. I owed Pompey a pile of gold which I couldn't possibly repay. So it was up to me to do old Dio in."
"Just as you arranged the attack on the Alexandrian envoys when they arrived in Neapolis."
Caelius nodded. "And kept up the attacks in Puteoli and on the way up to Rome. The Egyptians were almost too easy to frighten. They're about as courageous as pigeons. But pigeons scatter when they're attacked, and there were so damned many of them!"
"And the last one left was Dio."
"Exactly. And that pigeon made a nasty mess."
Licinius rolled his eyes. "Caelius, you're crazy to be telling him
this."
"Shut up, Licinius. Has my judgment ever steered me wrong? Gor-dianus is like a dog with a bone. He'll never let go of this thing until he's got the truth. Now that it can't hurt us, better to simply tell him so that he can go find another bone to chew. He's sworn himself to secrecy! Now where was I?"
"All the Egyptians gone but Dio."
"Ah, yes. Well, I tried to get the kitchen slaves to poison him at Lucius Lucceius's house, of course. Having met that idiot Lucceius once at a party, I figured I could get away with just about anything under his roof. But the slaves bungled it and killed Dio's taster instead, and off Dio went to Coponius's house. A good thing Lucceius is the type to see no evil, or he could have forced his slaves to testify against me and ruined everything.
"So it was on to Titus Coponius's house. Titus is no fool, and his slaves are as loyal as slaves come. Added to that, Dio was more wary than ever, and Pompey was really beginning to press me. Well, there was nothing to do but sharpen the daggers and go on a midnight raid. I needed help for that, so I called on Asicius. He's the one who actually staged the raids on the envoys down south for me. He's been one of King Ptolemy's agents for years. Knows a lot more about daggers and blood and that sort of thing than I do."
"Thank the gods he's not here to hear you!" groaned Licinius, covering his face. Catullus was busy poking at something in the bottom of his wine cup.
I nodded. "Then you and Asicius-"
"Oh yes, we went out that night with every intention of killing old Dio. Sorry. I know he was your old teacher and all that. But Egyptian politics is a nasty business."
"You had no confederates inside Coponius's house?"
"Not a single one. Too dangerous. His slaves are too loyal, as I
said."
"But you knew the room where Dio was staying."
Caelius shrugged. "Not too hard to figure out. I'd stayed in the house as a guest myself."
"So the two of you climbed over the wall, broke in the window, burst into Dio's room-"
"And found him lying on his couch as dead as King Numa. I'll never forget the sight of him-mouth gaping open, eyes staring. Oh yes, most definitely dead."
"Then what?"
"What else could we do? Pompey had sent us to kill Dio, and he knew we intended to use daggers. I didn't want Pompey to think that Dio had died of natural causes, or that someone else had murdered him. I wanted my debt discharged! So we went ahead and stabbed him, enough times to kill him if he'd still been living-"
"More than enough, from what I heard."
Caelius shrugged. "Then we made a bit of a mess in the room, as if there might have been a struggle, and then we got out of there as quickly as we could. The next day everyone was saying that Dio had been stabbed to death in his bed. Pompey was satisfied, my debts were discharged, and I figured that was the end of it. But Asicius was never secretive about his links to King Ptolemy. His enemies decided to put him on trial for murdering Dio. Ptolemy hired Cicero to handle the defense, and Cicero got Asicius off. The prosecution never really had enough evidence against him."
"Nor against you, it seems."
"Especially not with Cicero on my side." Caelius grinned.
"Yes, that explains it," I said. "Stabbed after he was already dead. No one in Coponius's house noticed the discrepancies-hardly enough blood spattered about for so many wounds, and the wounds all neatly close together, not spread around. No struggle. And the slave girl, too afraid to tell what she knew… "
"What's that?" said Caelius. "You're muttering to yourself, Gordianus."
"Was I? A bad habit. Yes, you've put my mind to rest about Dio. The old dog can stop gnawing that bone. But I have another bone with some marrow still left in it."
"Do you? Server, more wine!"
"The violence against Dio and the Alexandrian envoys weren't the only charges against you."
"No-and a good thing, too!" "What do you mean?"
"Why, Clodia adding that poisoning charge at the last minute. Crassus said we should disallow it. He said it was technically too late for the prosecutors to include it and that we didn't have time to prepare a defense. Cicero told him he was mad, that it was a gift from the gods. 'Don't you see? They've given us exactly what we need! Now we have every reason to drag Clodia into the case, and that will be the end of the prosecution.' And he was right, of course. If Clodia had kept out of sight, I'd have been in much worse trouble. But with Clodia right there, showing her face, bringing her own accusation against me, Cicero was able to turn the trial on its head. Not 'Did Caelius murder the Egyptians?' but 'Why is that wicked woman trumping up charges against the poor boy?' And it worked, brilliantly! The prosecution was totally discredited. Accusing me of trying to poison Clodia actually weakened all the other charges."