It was at an auto show in Shanghai. I was draped across a green Ferrari, wearing a bikini that matched the paint. I hadn’t expected to see you, but there you were with a group of businessmen smoking Marlboros and ogling the models.
You were older. I’m not sure by how much. Time passes differently for me, and maybe time alone was not responsible for how much you had aged.
I would like to say I will never forget you, but I can’t promise you that. This shapeless matter inside my head shifts and dies and regenerates, and as it does so, memories fade and old incarnations of myself are discarded. Maxwell Stone had lovers, most likely, but I can’t recall their faces, and someday I will lose yours as well.
Your group strolled by my Ferrari, making the obligatory lewd remarks, flashing their brown teeth in leery grins. I wore my generic smile and offered up a vacant titter. I told them about the car.
You stood a little ways behind the other men with your hands in your pockets. I knew that look: you were too tired to pretend to be having a good time.
I smiled at you as hard as I could. Finally, you looked up. I thought maybe you would recognize me somehow. Maybe you would cry out, “It’s you!” and take me in your arms. Or maybe, at the very least, you’d let your gaze linger on me a little longer than normal.
But you didn’t. You made that nervous grimace you do whenever a woman pays too much attention to you. Then you ambled off to look at a Lexus—a four-door with lots of cabin space. Good for families.
I watched you move. Your shoulders were slumped as though you carried something very heavy.
Then more bodies flowed between us, wealthy men and their school-aged mistresses, nouveau riche wives and their spoiled bachelor sons searching for a car to attract a pretty bride, broke students in designer knock-offs come to take selfies in front of BMWs so they can pretend to be rich on Weixin.
I lost you among them. I did not find you again.
ALSO BY GARDNER DOZOIS
A DAY IN THE LIFE
ANOTHER WORLD
BEST SCIENCE FICTION STORIES OF THE YEAR #6–10
THE BEST OF ISAAC ASIMOV’S SCIENCE FICTION MAGAZINE
TIME-TRAVELERS FROM ISAAC ASIMOV’S SCIENCE FICTION MAGAZINE
TRANSCENDENTAL TALES FROM ISAAC ASIMOV’S SCIENCE FICTION MAGAZINE
ISAAC ASIMOV’S ALIENS
ISAAC ASIMOV’S MARS
ISAAC ASIMOV’S SF LITE
ISAAC ASIMOV’S WAR
ROADS NOT TAKEN (with Stanley Schmidt)
THE YEAR’S BEST SCIENCE FICTION, #1–35
FUTURE EARTHS: UNDER AFRICAN SKIES (with Mike Resnick)
FUTURE EARTHS: UNDER SOUTH AMERICAN SKIES (with Mike Resnick)
RIPPER! (with Susan Casper)
MODERN CLASSIC SHORT NOVELS OF SCIENCE FICTION
KILLING ME SOFTLY
DYING FOR IT
THE GOOD OLD STUFF
THE GOOD NEW STUFF
EXPLORERS
THE FURTHEST HORIZON
SUPERMEN
ISAAC ASIMOV’S PLANET EARTH
ISAAC ASIMOV’S ROBOTS
ISAAC ASIMOV’S VALENTINES
ISAAC ASIMOV’S SKIN DEEP
ISAAC ASIMOV’S GHOSTS
ISAAC ASIMOV’S VAMPIRES
ISAAC ASIMOV’S MOONS
ISAAC ASIMOV’S CHRISTMAS
ISAAC ASIMOV’S CAMELOT
ISAAC ASIMOV’S WEREWOLVES
ISAAC ASIMOV’S SOLAR SYSTEM
ISAAC ASIMOV’S DETECTIVES
ISAAC ASIMOV’S CYBERDREAMS
ALIENS!
UNICORNS!
MAGICATS!
MAGICATS 2!
BESTIARY!
MERMAIDS!
SORCERERS!
DEMONS!
DOGTALES!
SEA SERPENTS!
DINOSAURS!
LITTLE PEOPLE!
DRAGONS!
HORSES!
UNICORNS 2
INVADERS!
ANGELS!
DINOSAURS II
HACKERS
TIMEGATES
CLONES
NANOTECH
IMMORTALS
STRANGERS
THE VISIBLE MAN (COLLECTION)
NIGHTMARE BLUE (with George Alec Effinger)
SLOW DANCING THROUGH TIME (with Jack Dann, Michael Swanwick, Susan Casper, and Jack C. Haldeman II)
THE PEACEMAKER
THE FICTION OF JAMES TIPTREE, JR.
about the editor
GARDNER DOZOIS worked in the science fiction field for more than three decades. For twenty years he was the editor of Asimov’s Science Fiction, during which time he received the Hugo Award for Best Editor fifteen times, Nebula Awards twice, and a World Fantasy Award. He was inducted into the Science Fiction Hall of Fame and received the Skylark Award for Lifetime Achievement. You can sign up for email updates here.
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