Where are we? she asked, faintly nervous. But it was so cold and blustery that even the muggers couldn't have been around. The door opened and the driver helped them out, as Jeff looked at her with pleasure.
Can you skate?
More or less. I haven't since Yale, and I'm no Peggy Fleming.
Want to give it a try? She laughed at the thought, but it sounded like so much fun, she couldn't resist, and nodded.
I'd love it.
They hurried toward the rink arm in arm, and the carriage waited for them. Jeff had paid for it till midnight. He rented skates for both of them, and he helped her lace hers up, and then gave her a hand as she slid onto the ice tenuously, but she got her footing fairly quickly. And Jeff was a beautiful skater, he had been on the hockey team at Harvard. He took a quick turn just to warm up, and then came back to her, and stayed with her, and halfway into the session, she was skating pretty smoothly. It was still snowing and there was hardly anyone on the ice. They ate hot dogs to give them energy, and had three rounds of hot chocolate. She had a great time, and they were laughing and teasing like old friends by the end of the session. For her, it was a lot like being with Alan, only just a little better.
I can't remember when I've had so much fun, she told him when they finally sat down for a rest because her ankles were getting tired.
I go in L.A. once in a while, but the rinks in California are pretty crummy. I went skiing in Tahoe last year, and the rink is even pretty small there. It's definitely not a western sport. It's too bad. I still enjoy it.
So do I. She looked up at him happily. He looked like what her sister Sam would have called a hunk as he stood there, tall and virile and athletic, and his eyes always seemed to be laughing. I'd forgotten how much fun this is, she said happily, thanking him again, and a few minutes later he bought her a pretzel and a cup of hot coffee. It wasn't really that cold, the wind had died down, but the snow was still fairly heavy.
The city is going to be crippled tomorrow if this keeps up. Maybe all your appointments will get canceled, he said hopefully, and she laughed, thinking of it. She was meeting with Jason Haverton again, and she told Jeff about him.
I really like him. He must have been a terror in his youth, but he's a nice man, so interesting and literate, and he's as sharp as ever. She really admired him, and had enjoyed their meeting. It's funny, things seem so much more civilized here than in California. There really is a literary world, full of ladies and gentlemen, and erudite people who behave properly and observe the traditions. But there, everyone is still a little rough around the edges. I forget it sometimes, but then you come back here and are reminded again. In California, a man like Jason Haverton couldn't exist, he'd be buffeted by the newspapers, and the tabloids would make insinuations that he was having an affair with a geriatric nurse, and he'd be getting death threats.
Actually, you know, Allegra, for an old guy, it might put a little excitement in his life. He might like that.
I'm serious, she said. They were skating again, and he was holding her tightly, under the pretext of keeping her from falling. She didn't object, she liked it. It's a different world, Jeff.
I know it is, he said more seriously. It must be rough on some of your clients to live so publicly with fear of death threats and constant harassment of them and their families.
It'll happen to you one day, it happens to everyone who makes some money and has celebrity status. It's almost automatic. You make money, you get well-known, and someone wants to kill you. It's sick. Like the Wild West. Bang, it's all over. And the tabloids aren't much fun either. They invent any lie they think will sell papers for them, and they don't give a damn who they hurt in the process.
You must deal with that crap all the time with the kind of clients you have. Can you do anything about it to protect them?
Pathetically little. I learned from my parents years ago that you have to keep a low profile, lead a clean life, and learn to ignore it. But they go after you anyway. They used to try to take pictures of us when we were kids, but my father was a real lion about that. He never let them. And he got restraining orders when he had to, to protect us. But things are a lot looser now. They have to try and kill you twice before you can get any protection. We actually had a scare on Carmen right before I left, but I talked to the police and the FBI today, and everything seems to have settled down. It scares her to death, poor thing. She calls me at four o'clock in the morning sometimes just because she heard a noise and she's frightened.
You must get a lot of sleep, he said, teasing her, and she laughed. She didn't mention that Brandon hated it and complained constantly about the intrusions from her clients. It seemed unfair to complain about him to Jeff, and she didn't want to encourage Jeff unfairly, by sounding too unhappy with Brandon. They were still very much together. And by the following week, Jeff would be back in L.A., and she wouldn't be able to see him for evenings like this. Maybe they could have lunch sometime. She had already given it a lot of thought. She could introduce him to Alan, or even her parents. She knew Blaire would love him, and Simon had already met him. It was very strange thinking about him, as if she were taking him home to meet her parents.
What were you thinking just then? Jeff asked as he watched her face. She had such expressive eyes, and she'd been frowning. And she hesitated before she answered.
I was thinking that I'd like to introduce you to my family, and it seemed strange somehow. I was trying to justify it to myself.
Do you have to, Allegra? he said gently.
I don't know, she answered. Do I? He didn't answer her. They were standing at the far end of the skating rink, leaning against the railing for a few minutes. And as he stood there, looking down at her, with the snow falling on both of them, he simply moved closer to her and kissed her. She was so startled, she didn't move away, she just held on to him so she wouldn't fall, and then she kissed him back, as he pressed closer and closer against her. And when they finally stopped, they were both breathless.
Oh ‘ Jeff ‘ she said softly, stunned by what they'd done. She felt like a kid again, and at the same time, very much a woman.
Allegra, he whispered her name, and pulled her into his arms again, and she didn't fight him. And then, finally, they stopped kissing and skated again, and neither of them said a word for a few minutes. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to apologize for that, he said seriously, looking at her as they skated, but I don't really want to.
You don't have to, she said quietly. I kissed you too.
And then he looked at her squarely. Do you feel guilty about Brandon? He wanted to know what she felt. He was falling in love with her, he was completely taken with her, her ideas, her principles, her dreams, not to mention her beauty. He wanted to be with her and hold her and kiss her, and make love to her, and to hell with Brandon.
I don't know, she answered his question as honestly as she could. I'm not sure what I feel. I know I'm supposed to feel guilty about him. I want to marry him. I have for two years. But he's so rigid, Jeff. He refuses to give anything more than what he wants, and everything he does is measured and limited, and restricted.
Why do you want to marry someone like that, for heaven's sake? Jeff asked her, sounding irritated as they stopped skating again. The session was almost over, and the already sparse crowd was thinning.
I don't know why, she said plaintively, tired of explaining it to everyone, and trying to justify it, even to herself. Maybe because I've been there for this long, or because I think he needs me. I think I'd be good for him. He needs to learn to give, to loosen up, to not be so afraid to love and commit’ . Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at Jeff, it all sounded so stupid now, in the face of Jeff's generosity of spirit.