"Mmmm," she said. "Got tired of washing up, drying up, sweeping up, and dusting up, and listening to the people next door throwing up; tired of lying in bed at night, listening for the clatter of the prince's horse on the cobblestones."
I grinned.
"Rupert changed all that, of course," she said. "'Come with me to the Doorway of Diarbekir,' he told me. 'Come to the Orient and I will make you a princess in liquid silks and diamonds the size of market cabbages.'"
"He did?"
"No. What he actually said was, 'My bloody assistant's run out on me. Come with me to Lyme Regis at the weekend and I'll give you a guinea, six square meals, and a bag to sleep in. I'll teach you the art of manipulation,' he said, and I was bloody fool enough to think he was talking about puppets."
Before I had time to ask for details, she had jumped to her feet and dusted off her skirt.
"Speaking of Rupert," she said, "we'd better go in and see how he and the vicar are getting on. It's ominously quiet in the parish hall. Do you suppose they might already have murdered one another?"
Her flowered dress swished gracefully off among the tombstones, and I was left to trot doggedly along in her wake.
Inside, we found the vicar standing in the middle of the hall. Rupert was up on the platform, center stage, hands on hips. Had he been taking a curtain call at the Old Vic, the lighting could not have been more dramatic. As if dispatched by Fate, an unexpected ray of sunlight shone in through a stained-glass window at the rear of the hall, fixing Rupert's upturned face dead center in its round golden beam. He struck a pose, and began spouting Shakespeare:"
As the vicar had mentioned, the acoustics of the hall were quite remarkable. The Victorian builders had made its interior a conch shell of curved, polished wood paneling that served as a sounding board for the faintest noise: It was like being inside a Stradivarius violin. Rupert's warm, honey-sweet voice was everywhere, wrapping us all in its rich resonance:
"Can you hear me now, vicar?"
The spell was instantly broken. It was as if Laurence Olivier had tossed "Woof! Woof! Testing ... one ... two ... three," into the middle of "To be, or not to be."
"Brilliant!" the vicar exclaimed.
What surprised me most about Rupert's speech was that I knew what he was saying. Because of the nearly imperceptible pause at the end of each line, and the singular way in which he illustrated the shades of meaning with his long white fingers, I understood the words. Every single one of them.
As if they had been sucked in through my pores by osmosis, I knew even as they swept over me that I was hearing the bitter words of an old man to a love far younger than himself.
I glanced at Nialla. Her hand was at her throat.
In the echoing wooden silence that followed, the vicar stood stock-still, as if he were carved from black and white marble.
I was witnessing something that not all of us understood.
"Bravo! Bravo!"
The vicar's cupped hands came suddenly clapping together in a series of echoing thunderbolts. "Bravo! Sonnet one hundred and thirty-eight, unless I'm badly mistaken. And, if I may offer up my own humble opinion, perhaps never more beautifully spoken."
Rupert positively preened.
Outside, the sun went behind a cloud. Its golden beam faded in an instant, and when it had gone, we were once again just four ordinary people in a dim and dusty room.
"Splendid," Rupert said. "The hall will do splendidly."
He stumped across the stage and began clambering awkwardly down the narrow steps, the fingers of one hand splayed out against the wall for support.
"Careful!" Nialla said, taking a quick step towards him.
"Get back!" he snapped, with a look of utter ferocity. "I can manage."
She stopped short in her tracks — as if he had slapped her in the face.
"Nialla thinks I'm her child." He laughed, trying to make a joke of it.
By her murderous look, I could see that Nialla didn't think any such thing.
* THREE *
"WELL, THEN!" THE VICAR said brightly, rubbing his hands together, as if the moment hadn't happened. "That's settled. Where shall we begin?" He looked eagerly from one of them to the other.
"By unloading the van, I suppose," Rupert said. "I assume we can leave things here until the show?"
"Oh, of course ... of course," said the vicar. "The parish hall's as safe as houses. Perhaps even a little safer."
"Then someone will need to have a look at the van ... and we'll want a place to put up for a few days."
"Leave that department to me," the vicar said. "I'm sure I can manage something. Now then, up sleeves, and to work we go. Come along, Flavia, dear. I'm sure we'll find something suited to your special talents."
Something suited to my special talents? Somehow I doubted it — unless the subject was criminal poisoning, which was my chief delight.
But still, because I didn't feel up to going home to Buckshaw just yet, I pasted on my best Girl Guide (retired) smile for the vicar, and followed him, along with Rupert and Nialla, outside into the churchyard.
As Rupert swung open the rear doors of the van, I had my first glimpse into the life of a traveling showman. The Austin's dim interior was beautifully fitted out with row upon row of varnished drawers, each one nestled snugly above, beside, and below its neighbors: very like the boxes of shoes in a well-run boot maker's shop, with each drawer capable of sliding in and out on its own track. Piled on the floor of the van were the larger boxes — shipping crates, really — with rope handles at the ends to facilitate their being pulled out and lugged to wherever they were going.
"Rupert made it all himself," Nialla said, proudly. "The drawers, the folding stage, the lighting equipment ... made the spotlights out of old paint tins, didn't you, Rupert?"
Rupert nodded absently as he hauled away at a bundle of iron tubing.
"And that's not all. He cut the cables, made the props, painted the scenery, carved the puppets ... everything — except that, of course."
She was pointing to a bulky black case with a leather handle and perforations in the side.
"What's in there? Is it an animal?"
Nialla laughed.
"Better than that. It's Rupert's pride and joy: a magnetic recorder. Had it sent him from America. Cost him a pretty penny, I can tell you. Still, it's cheaper than hiring the BBC orchestra to play the incidental music!"
Rupert had already begun to tug boxes out of the Austin, grunting as he worked. His arms were like dockyard cranes, lifting and turning ... lifting and turning, until at last, nearly everything was piled in the grass.