It was my turn to sigh.
“I, of course, because I am a black-hearted shrew, said absofuckinglutely not.”
I chuckled. “Of course.”
“At least, according to Elizabeth, that’s what I am. She was pissed. At me. Really pissed. Didn’t understand why it was such a big deal. We went round and round and covered the same ground about why I was there with her in the first place. But she wasn’t interested.”
I leaned my head back against the headboard. “What were the Corzines doing?”
“Watching,” she said. “After we’d stopped arguing and just sat there, staring at one another, the woman came over.”
“To intervene?”
“No. To apologize.”
“What?”
“She heard us arguing,” Lauren explained. “And she wanted to make it clear that it wasn’t their idea for her to spend the night. It was Elizabeth’s.”
I shifted on the bed. “Oh.”
“It got really awkward and they ended up leaving because it was like we were at a stalemate or something,” Lauren said. “I tried to talk to Elizabeth but she basically stopped talking to me because she was so pissed. So we sat there for awhile and then I just threw my hands up and we went and found our hotel and we’ve been sitting here, not talking to one another, until she got up to take a shower a few minutes ago.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “That sucks.”
“Yeah, it really does,” she said. “I feel helpless.”
“Remember what I said. We are her parents. Not them or anyone else. We get to make the decisions.”
“I guess.”
I knew she was down, but I didn’t think I had anything to offer her. This was just going to be part of the process and there were going to be ups and downs. It was cliché, but it was the truth. And no matter how much we wanted it, Elizabeth wasn’t going to like us all of the time. Even if she’d never been taken from us, we would’ve been fighting a similar battle through the teenage years.
“Any plans for tomorrow yet, then?” I asked.
“She’d have to be speaking to me in order for us to make plans.”
“Right.”
“Hang on,” she said and I heard some muffled voices before she came back. “You want to talk to her?”
“Yes.”
There was a moment of silence, then Elizabeth said “Hello?”
“Hey. How was the shower?”
“Okay. Not much water pressure.” Her tone was bored, uninterested. “Kind of cold.”
“Bummer,” I said. “How was today?”
“Fine.”
“Not what I heard.”
I heard a door close in the background. “It was fine.”
“Your mom said you wanted to stay with the Corzines.”
“Yeah. But she said no. So, oh well.”
“Do you understand why she said no?”
“I don’t really wanna talk about it, okay?”
The same frustration Lauren felt was finding its way to me. So I tried to remind myself that it was just the first day there and Elizabeth was allowed to be confused and frustrated, too.
“Okay,” I said. “You know what you’re doing tomorrow?”
“No.”
My inclination was to push because that was what I almost always did, but I knew that was the wrong path to take at that moment. “Okay. Well, I just wanted to say hi.”
“You wanna talk to her again?” Still refusing to say Mom.
“Yeah, please. Hey, Elizabeth?”
“What?”
“I miss you. I love you.”
She didn’t respond right away, then, “I’ll get her from the bathroom.”
A tiny punch to the stomach.
I heard muffled voices again and then Lauren was back on the line. “Hey.”
“She wasn’t any more talkative with me.”
“Nope.”
“She’s right there, isn’t she?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, well, I guess we can’t hash it out any further.”
“Not sure what there is to hash out, Joe.”
She was right. I wasn’t sure, either. It was just going to be a bumpy road.
“You do anything interesting today?” Lauren asked.
I felt myself blush, knowing I hadn’t told her where I was and that I was about to lie to her. “Not really. Same old, same old.”
“I’m not really sure what that is for you, Joe.”
I laughed. “Me either.”
“I’m tired,” Lauren said. “I need to get in bed.”
“Call me tomorrow?” I asked.
“Of course.”
“Okay. Hang in there, Lauren. She’ll come around. It’s just gonna take awhile.”
She cleared her throat. “I hope so. I really hope so.”
We hung up and I set the phone on the nightstand next to the bed. I clicked off the light and un-muted the TV. It was on ESPN and the announcer was selling some story on a football player. But I really wasn’t listening.
I was staring at the ceiling, wondering if and when our daughter would come all the way back to us.
TWENTY TWO
I was up early the next morning. I’d slept soundly for about two hours and then my mind wouldn’t stop churning and I couldn’t get myself back to sleep. I ended up watching crappy middle of the night television while I worried about Lauren and Elizabeth.
When the sun finally started to peek through the curtains, I took a quick shower, dressed, found coffee in the lobby and headed to the airport.
I toyed with the idea of staying in Phoenix but there was no reason. I wasn’t going to hear back from Bandencoop. She was probably halfway to wherever she was going to go hide. My threats weren’t going to do anything more than scare her into running. I made them more to make myself feel like I was making headway rather than because I thought I might get an answer. At some point, I’d pass her name to Blundell and they could chase her down. If I needed to come back to Phoenix, I could always come back. I found a flight back that left an hour after I returned the rental and I was back on the ground in San Diego by mid-morning.
The fog was completely gone and a light breeze was coming off the water when I got to the house. I opened all of the windows, airing it out after having it closed up for a day. Something about fresh air and finding fresh ideas crossed my mind. I changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and spent two hours cleaning the house. Vacuuming, sweeping the floors, laundry, washing the counters, anything I could think of. When I was finished, I was covered in sweat, the house looked good and I felt like I’d cleared my head, taking a mental break from the chaos that had become my life. Hopefully, Lauren wouldn’t mind that I’d gone on a cleaning spree in what was no longer really my house.
I showered again and pulled on a clean pair of shorts and a fresh T-shirt. I found my phone on the kitchen table and texted Lasko, seeing if he had some time to meet. He responded immediately, telling me he could shake loose around two if I wanted to get a beer somewhere. I said that worked and he named a place not too far from the deli we’d lunched at.
He was already in a back booth when I walked in, out of uniform and dressed similar to me.
“Do you ever work?” I asked.
He smiled over the beer in his glass. “I’m pulling nights right now. Covering for a buddy who needed some time with his family. Hence, the casual daytime attire.”
“You should be home sleeping then,” I said.
“I don’t sleep great during the day.” He shrugged. “I’m fine.”
The waitress came and I ordered a beer. Three minutes later it was on the table in front of me and I took a long swallow before setting it back down.
“I went to Phoenix,” I said.
He raised an eyebrow. “You have a need to experience extreme heat and crazy lawmakers?”
I laughed and shook my head. “No. Did I tell you about what the family in Minnesota told me? About how they got my daughter?”
“Just vaguely.”
I recounted what the Corzines told me, then explained going to Arizona to confront Bandencoop.
“How’d you find her?” Lasko asked.
“A friend,” I said.
“What kind of friend?”
“The kind that can find stuff other friends can’t.”