Of course, this was soon noised about the city. The next morning a vast multitude swarmed into the Great Square before the Palace to the number of one million eight hundred and fifty-six thousand and eleven — not counting the women and children. At break of day, this great army was all ready to march in good order straight into the country of the Thirsty People.
But, before they all get away. I must tell you one of the cunning
WELCOME TO PA_NTAGKDJiL.
tricks of our old friend Pa-nurge. He had not forgotten that the wretched little King Anarchus, whom Pantagruel had given to him as a present, had been the chief cause of the invasion of the peaceful Kingdom of Utopia. If Anarchus had shown the spirit of a brave man among the stout and faithful Giants, who had fought to the death to keep his mean little body from harm, Panurge would never have dared touch him. But Anarchus had been all along such a coward that he wasn't worth anybody's pity. So, on the evening of Pantagruel's triumphant entrance into the city, Panurge, after some hard thinking, got up a new dress for the little King. There was nothing at all royal about the dress. It was very far from being that, as it consisted of a pretty canvas doublet, all braided and pranked out; a pair of wide sailor trousers ; and stockings without shoes.
'' For," as Panurge said, " shoes would only spoil his sight."
He then put on the head of Anarchus a little pink cap, trimmed with a great capon-feather, — maybe I am wrong, because I have been told that there were two of these feathers,—besides a fine belt of blue and green. This was the ridiculous figure which Panurge dragged before Pantagruel.
"Do you know this fellow?"
" Not I," said Pantagruel.
"Why, this is the King of the Thirsty People ! I am going to make an honest man of him. He was a pitiful rogue when he wore the crown. Now r that he wears this gay dress, he is an honest man. I have given him a trade. He is a crier of green sauce, at your service." '' Now, little King, begin ! Call out, ' Green Sauce ! Green Sauce ! Who wants to buy Green Sauce ? '
The poor King, from pure shame, piped out too low.
"That is not half loud enough," cried Panurge, catching him by the ear, and saying, " Sing higher, little King; sing higher in ge, sol, re, ut."
Pantagruel made himself merry at all this. I dare say the little King was the drollest man he had ever seen.
And this was how King Anarchus got to be a Crier of Green Sauce.
Two days after this, Panurge married the little King with an old lantern-jawed hag. To have everything pass off gaily, and to make sure of good dancing, he hired a blind man to give the music. For their wedding-supper, he ordered fine sheep-heads, plenty of eels served with mustard, and tripe spiced with garlic. The drink was watered wine and fine cider.
Pantagruel gave the couple a little cottage in one of the side streets, and a stone-mortar in which to pound their sauce. Here they carried on their trade, and the little King might have been happier than when he lived in a palace and had Giants to guard him, but for his wife, who beat him in time as flat as a mummy.
When Pantagruel marched from the city, along the high road, he looked a grander and mightier Giant than ever. Every town and city surrendered to him as he drew near, and every noble of the country came to offer him homage. Only the city of the Almirodes held out;
GRANDER AND MIGHTIER THAN EVER.
and that would have kept its gates shut to the end had it not been for a story its people happened to hear of the Giant and of an awful storm which came up one day, while he was on his way there with his army. There being no danger of his being drowned,—so the story ran,— Pantagruel put his big tongue half way out of his mouth and covered the whole army as snugly as a hen covers her chicks. When the people of the stubborn city heard that, they opened their gates wide ! — wide !! — wide ! ! ! —to let the Giant pass. 'There is no use resisting such a man as that," everybody said.
And so ended the bad war which the begun against their good tua had Thirsty People had the Utopians when King Gargan-been car-
PANTAGRUEL RETURNS
ried to Fairy-land. Pantagruel, having ended his tour through all the cities of his new Kingdom of Dipsodie, finally reached the Palace where he had been born, and on leaving which, one sad day, to go on his long journey to school, he had seen for the last time his dear and honored father. All these thoughts made the tender-hearted Giant sad ; but he had no time for weeping. There were many wrongs in his own Kingdom of Utopia to make right. There were many rights to make strong. There were a thousand other things to do for his faithful people, who had at once proclaimed him King when Gargantua had been taken to Fairy-land,— even when he had been leagues upon leagues away.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
GARGANTUA COMES BACK FROM FAIRY-LAND. AFTER WHICH PANTA-GRUEL PREPARES FOR ANOTHER TRIP.
ONE day Gargantua came back from Fairy-land.
It was a day above all others long to be remembered by Pantagruel, when he first heard, on coming home from a visit to one of his cities, where he had gone to decide a knotty case between that city and a neighboring town, the sharp bark of a dog. f Why ! I know that bark," he said. ' That is the bark of little Kyne, my father's dog. My father must surely have come back ! " So, joyfully, he followed Kyne, who went bounding and frisking back to the great door of the Palace. There he found his old father, with his arms stretched wide open to clasp his son. Everybody was glad to see that wonderful meeting of father and son high up in the air. " My dear son ! " " My dear and honored father ! "
That was all they could hear, as the old Giant and the young Giant, arm in arm, passed through the door, and went up the broad stairway into the great hall. We may be sure that Snapsauce and the two other Very Fat Cooks were soon doing their best to get together a good dinner, during which Pantagruel heard all about Fairy-land, its Queen, and her kind Fairies. When a fresh flagon of wine rested between them, Father Gargantua said : —
"I praise God, my beloved son, that he has given thee such wisdom and virtue. Had it not been for thee, I would still have been in Fairy-land, for thou hast been wise while I was away. I would like to speak to thee now on a subject which much troubled me there. Thou art now old enough to take a wife, and I desire to see thee marry. Hast thou ever thought of a wife?"
"To tell the truth, most dear father, I have never yet thought of one. But, in choosing a wife, I am always thy son, and thou shalt choose for me."
"I believe thee in that, my son. But thou shalt choose for thyself when the time comes for a wife. When thou findest her, bring her home ; she shall find a father waiting for her."
Pantagruel stretched out one big hand across the table. It met another big hand, only that other was more knotty and wrinkled than his own. Then the two mighty hands clasped.
"But this is not all that I wanted to say, my boy. It is time thou shouldst travel. Thou needest rest. Hast thou not been King in my place ? " The old Giant laughed as he said this. " Hast thou not filled my throne, thou young rogue, for this score of years and more? Thou art not so strong as thou wast ; thou hast need of a holiday."