From the beginning, the master-apprentice relationship was secondary to the friendship. Little Tang began inviting Yuxiu to her home near the government-run rice mill. On her first visit, as they entered the mill compound, Yuxiu saw a sheet-metal smokestack attached to a generator room; it was, she discovered, the source of a sound she had been hearing every night. Each cloud of steam that belched from the smokestack made a distinctive popping sound. Little Tang showed Yuxiu around her house with obvious delight, especially the bedroom, where she proudly pointed out her Red Lantern transistor radio, her Butterfly sewing machine, and her Three Fives alarm clock,[5] all highly prized, Shanghai-produced status symbols that designated their owners as well-off. They meant nothing to Yuxiu, who could not tell good products from bad. Trying to enlighten her was like talking to a brick wall, but none of that lessened Little Tang’s enthusiasm.
For their conversations, Little Tang and Yuxiu preferred the bedroom over the living room. They’d sit on the bed and talk quietly about nothing in particular, and Yuxiu was struck by how quickly their friendship had blossomed. Despite the difference in ages, they were soon more than casual friends. Little Tang even revealed some shortcomings of her husband and her child to Yuxiu, who, sensible girl that she was, defended them against Little Tang’s criticisms with quick words of praise. That, of course, delighted Little Tang. “Ai,” she’d sigh fretfully, “you don’t know what they’re like.” It was a meaningless comment since Yuxiu had not met either of them.
But then one day Yuxiu met Little Tang’s son and she could hardly believe her eyes. He was a head taller than she and muscular, yet possessed a shy nature that belied his appearance. Since Little Tang had always referred to him as Little Wei, Yuxiu had expected to see a middle school student. In fact, he worked in the rice mill and was a core member of the local militia. Little Tang called him over using his full name—Gao Wei—and introduced him to her guest: “This is Yuxiu.”
At that moment she no longer sounded like Little Tang the government clerk but spoke with the propriety and authority of a mother. Then she reverted to her normal tone as she said to Yuxiu, “This is my slow-witted son.” The immediate change in tone put Yuxiu out of sorts since it seemed to imply that she and Little Tang were of the same generation, the one ahead of Gao Wei. Quickly recovering from her discomfort, Yuxiu said, “You shouldn’t say that, Aunty. He doesn’t look slow-witted to me.”
Taking that as a cue, Little Tang turned to her son. “Yuxiu has been saying all sorts of nice things about you, Little Wei.”
By calling attention to what was best left unsaid, Little Tang had Yuxiu looking for a hole to crawl into. Obviously uncomfortable around girls, Gao Wei was ill at ease; he blushed but didn’t dare walk away. Yuxiu’s face also reddened, and the thought struck her that Little Tang was a different person at work than she was at home, where she ran the house in all affairs, big and small. No wonder the boy was the way he was. Yuxiu now saw her friend in a different light.
While it could be said that Little Tang was a capable, resourceful worker—although her motives were not always transparent—it was clear to Yuxiu that Gao Wei’s mother had plans for the two youngsters. Yuxiu had thought that she was being clever by secretly learning how to use an abacus from Little Tang, all the while Little Tang was throwing her net far wider and luring Yuxiu into it. It was Yuxiu who had fallen into a trap, not Little Tang. That’s what living in town can do for you, Yuxiu thought admiringly.
Gao Wei’s looks seemed all right to Yuxiu, but the crucial factor was that he worked in a factory. Pairing up with a worker was something she’d always thought was beyond her reach. Not that she wasn’t a good catch. But there was always the unpleasant fact that she had been raped. That was something Aunty Little Tang did not know, and if she ever found out, any match with her son would be brought to a screeching halt. That would be an enormous loss of face for Yuxiu, and that thought brought bitter disappointment. At my age, I can’t avoid the troubling fact that people will try to get me married. Panic set in, and her thoughts grew confused.
She slept badly that night. As the night wore on, Broken Bridge was as quiet as a deep, bottomless well. The puffing of the mill generator seemed louder now. Unlike kerosene generators, the steam noises were not continuous, but were more like the beat of a hammer, with pauses between each pop. Up till now, Yuxiu had enjoyed that noise, since it sounded distant and not at all annoying; the muted pops were friendly and usually induced a deep, untroubled sleep.
But not on this night; instead, they pounded against her eardrums. Better, she thought, to tell Little Tang the truth. She couldn’t keep it hidden all her life, could she? But a second later she cursed herself for such idiotic thoughts. Once the word was out, there would be no hope for her. Not only would this match become impossible, but she would have given people something to use against her forever. She mustn’t let that happen. She had suffered enough over that in Wang Family Village and had learned her lesson. Besides, while a match may be what Aunty Little Tang had in mind, nothing definite had been said, so why jump the gun?
Yuxiu climbed out of bed in the morning feeling sluggish. She’d decided to stop going to the bookkeeping office. But on second thought, that was a bad idea. No, she’d keep going. Little Tang hadn’t actually broached the subject, though she’d hinted at it, so if Yuxiu put on a bashful act, that would show that she knew what was going on. Wouldn’t that be the same as a voluntary confession? No point in doing that. If she revealed what she knew, she’d be stuck with no exit strategy, and that would only make things more difficult. Feigning ignorance was still her best option. Given her current situation, how could she even think that this might work out? It was a mismatch from the very beginning. Where could you find anyone willing to eat sugarcane that someone else had already chewed on?
Yuxiu suddenly had a clear picture of exactly who she was. As a female, her value had dropped to virtually nothing. This brutal fact made her sadder than any self-inflicted humiliation ever could. For her, the future held only despair and misery with no tears to shed. At that point she cocked her head and said to herself, Don’t give it any more thought.
So Yuxiu went back to the bookkeeping office, willing to gamble, to take a chance. No matter how she looked at it, an opportunity had presented itself, and she’d be crazy not to grab it. Before setting out for the office, she took pains to make herself up nicely, going so far as to secretly borrow a pair of Qiaoqiao’s red hair ornaments and pin one above each ear. Feeling fetchingly pretty, she quietly went up to Aunty Little Tang, trying to act as if everything were perfectly normal, though Yuxiu was not without a sense that she might be overdoing it. It was an awkward moment.
Her smile came quickly and left just as quickly. She said very little before lowering her head and concentrating on the abacus—on which she made one mistake after another. When Little Tang noticed the ornaments in Yuxiu’s hair, she understood that the girl had caught on, that she knew everything.
She’s no fool, she said to herself. No need to beat a drum. Little Tang laughed derisively to herself. You foolish girl, what good does it do to make yourself up for me? Her plans for Little Wei appeared to be a foregone conclusion. That was not to say there was nothing to worry about—the girl’s rural residence registration, for instance. No matter how you looked at it, marrying someone from the countryside was a step down. On the other hand, if Little Wei married the sister-in-law of Director Guo, that would form a welcome bond between Little Tang and the director. Nothing wrong with that. But then her thoughts took another turn: I’d actually belong to an older generation than Director Guo.[6] That thought raised her spirits and brought on a case of nerves at the same time. So what now? How is this going to work out?
6
If Little Tang’s son marries Guo’s sister-in-law, she would be considered a member of an older generation than Guo’s, which would make her feel either awkward or proud.