TICKLE HIS PICKLE
Welcome to the book thats all about your guy’s pickle.
Whether it’s sweet, dill, candied or kosher—now that you’re between the covers, let’s call it precisely what it is: a penis.
For all of society’s fixations and infatuations, it’s odd there’s never been an instructional handbook on the penis for the millions who’d surely appreciate it: women. Haven’t you got a few dangling penis questions you’ve always been curious to get to the bottom of?
Such as, “What does he REALLY want me to do to it?”
Then fasten your seatbelt! I’m about to bring you as close to understanding the penis as you can get without actually having one,As America’s Pleasure Coach, I’ve spent years looking behind the bulge—asking, touching, playing, investigating, fondling—and I’m here to report to you on everything I’ve uncovered.
I’ll show ’n tell exactly what most guys want, hope and dream you’ll do (and a few things they pray you don’t!). Then you can decide to try the things that turn you on, too—even if your own guy is too quiet, polite or shy to ask.
You have my personal guarantee: He won’t know what hit him—and what got into you!
Welcome to Penis School!
Class is now in session, I’m Sadie, your Personal Pleasure Coach, and I’ll be showing you some pretty exciting stuff. So please get comfortable, open your mind, let go of those inhibitions, and get ready to experience orgasmic new passions.
If penis pleasing is relatively new to you, Congratulations! You’re about to discover the secrets some women never learn in a lifetime. If you’re experienced, Welcome! You’re sure to see lots of exotic new techniques that will melt your lover into your hands. If you’re gay—Hel-LOo-o! You’ll pick up some great pointers here, too. And if you’re the object of our affection—come up here so the whole class can admire you!
Penis School has no tests and no report cards (but pop quizzes may spring up at any time!). Try only what you’re comfortable doing, and advance at your own pace. Talk. Experiment. Laugh. Love. Practice. Improvise. Orgasm.And when you find what works for him—and you—do it again!
Whether you’re dating for now or mating for life, no matter what your looks, age or physique, you’re going to learn how to keep “that glow” in your lover’s eyes while you start feeling even sexier inside.And whether your relationship is bumpy or blissful, you’ll see how it can be a lot more loving and affectionate—inside the bedroom and out.
So relax. Take a deep breath and begin on the next page. I hope you’ll enjoy attending Penis School as much as you enjoy doing the homework!
IMPORTANT: The first lesson of Penis School is safer sex. Be sure to read, understand and practice everything in the Appendix before engaging in any sex play.
1. LET’S TALK ABOUT YOU
I’ll bet you could fill a week’s worth of Happy Hours telling me about all the headaches that bring you down.
But are you letting those daily distractions follow you into the bedroom ? Do you and your guy climb into bed every night only to conk out? What happened to love? What happened to lovemaking ? What’s happening to your love life?
What if—out of the blue—you initiate a master plan to rekindle your love life? What if the centerpiece is a daring new passion for your guy’s penis? What if you start dazzling him with exotic new strokes, touches and licks that render him speechless with mind-blowing orgasms ? Would you get his attention? Would you reignite desire? Do I even have to ask?!?
Yet I guarantee that NONE of my erotic advice will work for you if you can’t put yourself into “The Moment.” So ask yourself: are passion, pleasure, romance, affection, love and orgasms what you want in your life?
Good! Then let’s get into “The Moment.”
Sharpen Your Pleasure Focus
Ohhh, that feels good… I wonder why the car was making that funny noise… Yes!! More of that… What time are the kids coming home?… Faster, faster, harder, THERE!… I hope he isn’t staring at my butt…
Does your mind scan faster than a couch potato with a TV remote? Would you agree it’s difficult to enjoy sex when worries, anxieties and hang-ups keep crashing your party? You’ve come down with a case of the PITs—Pleasure Interrupting Thoughts —a common problem among both women and men.
What’s the answer? Start making a conscious effort to tune out the negative PITs at the exact moment they intrude. Don’t let them rob you of your lusty moments together. Focus only on how good you’re feeling—and how good you make him feel. That’s what being in “The Moment” means-it’s truly empowering.
Get Out Of The PITs
Are you battling any of the following Pleasure Interrupting Thoughts? Then here are some easy ways to turn them around. Remember: focusing on your PITs only draws attention to them. Instead, draw attention only to what turns you on!
“I can’t relax.” Create your own personal oasis: Lock the door. Unplug the phone. Mute the message machine. Turn off the TV, cell and computer. Treat yourself to a hot bubble bath. Light a scented candle, pop in your favorite CD and feel the groove. Read an erotic story. Pleasure yourself.
“Nice girls don’t.” Au contraire: nice girls DO—you may simply be ready to move on to the next phase of your adult life. Sexual wants and needs can change over the years, so relax and discover the joy that pleasing your partner will bring you in return. Remember: there’s nothing “dirty” about sex—it’s one of life’s greatest gifts to you.
“I’m too fat.” Your guy isn’t going to care about your thighs while your luscious lips are working your magic on him. Being sexy isn’t about how you look. It’s about attitude, self-confidence and feeling sexy inside.
“I’m afraid I may not like it.” Fear usually comes from the unknown, so you may need to turn and simply face your fears. Go slowly and talk about your feelings if you need to.You may be surprised to discover you really enjoy it.
“I don’t like the sight of his penis.” Then don’t look! Turn out the lights and let your skills take over.Add in soft light as you get more comfortable.Try to gain a new appreciation for his penis. After all, it’s permanently attached.
“He doesn’t smell great.” Then bathe before sex—together! Wash his penis for him and make sure you rinse him completely of soap (it tastes gross). Suggest a sensual shave to start him smelling even sweeter! (See Chapter 5.)