I use whatever my clients are afraid of to pump them out of whatever they are doing that is absurd. You can do lots of things using other people to help you get results. I've set people up out in the world to do these kinds of things, too. Sometimes I can get parents to work cooperatively with me. I go to schools and recruit people to work with me in the best interest of my clients.
You never know what will happen with any particular individual. I don't know this guy well enough to know for sure that what I've suggested would work, but in lieu of something impressive in my sensory experience, that would be the tack I would take.
Man: I've had him evaluated by a plastic surgeon, and the plastic surgeon made an allusion that there is a relationship between the length and width of the nose, and the length and width of the penis, so he's already started thinking in that direction.
You can tell him "Well we can shorten your nose for you, but… ." Or you can get the plastic surgeon to say "Well, what we do is we take it and we go whack." (He makes a chopping gesture.) That might change his mind!
I'll tell you another story. A woman that I worked with had a daughter who was really uptight about her nose. She really thought she had an ugly nose, when it didn't actually look any different than anybody else's. She wanted to have surgery and had saved up her own money for it, but her family was fighting with her about it. They told her she had an attractive nose and shouldn't change it, but she didn't believe them. Finally one day I said to the family "What difference does it make, anyway? In fact, I suggest that you insist that she go in and get rid of her hideous nose. Just say 'We've been lying to you all these years. Actually your nose is totally—ugh! — it's so repulsive! So just go down there and get the damn thing chopped off, for God's sake.'" They did this, and she went in, had the surgery, and then everybody said "Wow! You look so much better!" She didn't look different at all, because the surgeon didn't do very much. He'd been bribed, so he took just a little skin off the end and that was all. But she was happy after that, so everything was wonderful.
Never underestimate the nature of absurdity. There are some people who dye their hair, and their personalities change. If you can do something to your appearance, and it really does change your personality, then it's worthwhile. How many of you have gone out and bought some new clothes, and when you put them on you felt totally different?
Let me remind you of the general principle that we have mentioned over and over again: Create a context in which the person will naturally respond in the way you want them to. We have talked mostly about how to create a context in internal experience by using hypnotic technology. You can also use your creativity to create an external context which will get the desired response without any overt hypnosis. Sometimes that's a lot easier, and sometimes it's a lot more fun.
For instance, traditionally psychiatrists and psychotherapists have thought that it's really difficult to make contact with catatonics. It's easy, if you are willing to do things which are not usually considered professional, like stomp on their feet. They'll usually come right out of their trances and tell you to stop. That may seem unkind, but it's a lot kinder than letting them rot inside for years.
If you don't want to stomp on their feet, you can just pace them. The thing you need to keep in mind is that catatonics are in a very altered state, and you'll need to pace them longer to get rapport. They don't have much behavior to pace, but they will be breathing, blinking their eyes, and in some kind of posture. I've sometimes had to pace a catatonic for up to forty minutes, which is quite a taxing chore. However, it works, and it is very graceful. If you are not worried about being graceful, just walk over and stomp hard on their feet.
1 know one psychiatrist who was working with a man who had had a very traumatic experience: his whole family had burned to death before his eyes, and he was powerless to help them. The man went into catatonia when this happened some years ago. The psychiatrist had worked and worked year after year with this guy and finally had gotten him to come out.
When this major event occurred, there happened to be an attractive 18–year–old candystriper in the office. The psychiatrist wanted to go get a colleague to help him with the next stage of therapy, but he didn't want the man to go back to catatonia while he was out of the room. The psychiatrist turned to the candystriper and said urgently "Keep him out! I'll be right back!" and ran out of the office.
So here is this young woman who had no experience doing therapy or anything like it. She knew enough about what this man had looked like before and what he looked like now, to know when he was going back in. Sure enough, as soon as the doctor went running out to get his friend to help, the man started to go back into the catatonic state. Her intuitive response was magnificent: she reached over and grabbed this guy and gave him the biggest, juiciest French kiss you can imagine! That kept him out!
The catatonic is making a decision that the internal experiences he is having in catatonia are richer and more rewarding than the ones he is being offered on the outside. And if you have ever been in a mental institution for any length of time, you might agree with those people! What the candystriper did was put him in a situation in which he would naturally prefer staying out.
We once saw a little woman in her late sixties who had been a dancer. She was having marital difficulties with her husband, and her right leg was paralyzed from the waist down. Doctors couldn't find any neurological evidence for this paralysis.
We wanted to test her to see if her paralysis was psychological rather than physical. In the office we had at that time you had to go upstairs to get to the bathroom. So we took a long time gathering information, until she asked where the bathroom was. We put her off and started discussing some aspects of her life that really got her interest. She got so excited that she put off going to the bathroom, and when she asked, we'd put her off. Just when we thought she was about to give up on us and go to the bathroom without our permission, we opened up the subject of her husband and their sexual difficulties, which was one of her major concerns. Then we told her "Go ahead to the bathroom now, but hurry up and get back!"
She was so excited that she forgot to be paralyzed. She literally ran up the stairs and then ran back down. Then she realized what she'd done, said "Oh, oh!" and went back into her paralyzed posture.
That gave us a demonstration that her paralysis was behavioral, and it also gave us an anchor for the state of not being paralyzed. We used that anchor indirectly by making veiled allusions to "taking steps to overcome difficulties," "being happy to respond to the call of nature," and "running up and down different possibilities."
Jack: How else can you tell when something is a physical problem versus a psychological problem? For example, I get seasick. It would be nice not to get seasick. I'm not sure if this is really a physical problem or a mental problem.
OK. Your question is "How do you distinguish between physical and psychological problems?" and my answer is "I don't usually bother."
Jack: Would you apply these techniques to my seasickness?
Immediately.
Jack: Would you expect to be successful?
I wouldn't bother to apply them if I didn't. I do make a distinction between psychological and physical problems in some ways. Let's say someone arrives in my office after she's had a stroke. All her behavior indicates aphasia, and she hands me a set of X–rays that show a tremendous trauma in the left temporal lobe. That is important information in shaping my response to her.