"But you were great afterward," I said, sticking up for him, because I felt like somebody should. "Helping me get Jesse to the hospital and all."
He shrugged miserably. "That was nothing. What Jesse did - jumping through those flames - and he barely even knew you - "
"It's all right, Paul," I said. "Really."
He didn't look convinced. "Really?"
"Really," I said, meaning it. Then I nodded toward the ladies' room door. "Besides, I always thought you two are much better suited, anyway."
"Yeah," Paul said, following my gaze. "I guess."
Then, to my surprise, he stuck out his right hand. "No hard feelings, Simon?"
I looked down at his hand. It seemed incredible, but I really didn't have any. Hard feelings toward him, I mean. Not now. Not anymore.
I slipped my fingers into his.
"No hard feelings," I said.
Then the bathroom door burst open and Kelly came out, her gait considerably altered because Sister Ernestine had stitched the slit in her dress to just above the knee.
Kelly had some pretty unpleasant things to say about the nun as she approached us.
"But at least she didn't make you go home and change," I interrupted her to point out.
Kelly just blinked at me. "Who's that guy?" she wanted to know.
I looked over my shoulder. Jesse was approaching us from down the breezeway. My heart, as always when I saw him, turned over in my chest.
"Oh, him?" I said casually. "That's just Jesse, my boyfriend."
My boyfriend. My boyfriend.
Kelly's eyes widened to their limits as Jesse stepped into the pool of moonlight in which we were standing, and took my hand.
"Paul," he said with a nod.
"Hey, Jesse," Paul said, looking uncomfortable. Then, remembering Kelly, he made uneasy introductions.
"Very nice to meet you," Jesse said, shaking Kelly's hand.
She, however, seemed too stunned to reply. She was just staring up at Jesse as if she'd seen . . .
Well, not a ghost, exactly. More like something she couldn't quite understand. I could almost hear her wondering, What's a guy like that doing with Suze Simon?
Hey, she didn't know what I'd been through for the guy . . . or what he'd been through for me.
Trying not to look too smug, I took Jesse's arm and said, "Well, see you around." And led him to the dance floor.
"Things with Paul are . . . ?" Jesse raised his eyebrows questioningly as I slid my arms around his neck.
"Fine," I said.
"And you know that because . . . ?"
"He told me."
"And you believe him?"
"You know what?" I lifted my head from where I'd been resting it on Jesse's shoulder. "I do."
"I see." Jesse stood there as I swayed to the music. "Susannah? What are you doing?"
"I'm dancing with you."
Jesse looked down at our feet, but couldn't see them, because my long skirt was swaying above them.
"I don't know this dance," he said.
"It's easy," I said. I let go of his neck and took his hands and brought them around my waist. Then I put my arms back around his neck. "Now sway."
Jesse swayed.
"See?" I said. "You're doing it."
Jesse's voice in my ear sounded a bit strangled. "What's this dance called?" he asked.
"Slow," I said. "It's called a slow dance."
Jesse didn't say anything much after that. He really was catching on fast to twenty-first-century social customs.
I don't know how much later it was that I lifted my head and saw my dad standing there.
This time, I didn't jump out of my skin. I'd sort of been expecting to see him.
"Hey, kiddo," he said.
I stopped dancing and said to Jesse, "Could you just excuse me a minute? There's just somebody I have to, um, have a word with."
Jesse smiled. "Of course."
My heart swelling with adoration for him, I hurried over to the palm tree my dad was lurking behind.
"Hey," I said to him, a little breathlessly. "You came."
"Of course I came," Dad said. "My little girl's first real dance? You think I'd miss it?"
"That's not why I'm glad you came," I said, reaching out to take his hand. "I wanted to say thanks."
"Thanks?" Dad looked bewildered. "For what?"
"For what you did for Jesse."
"For Jesse?" Then comprehension dawned and he made as if to drop my hand, looking embarrassed. "Oh. That."
"Yes, that," I said, holding his fingers more tightly. "Dad, Jesse told me. If you hadn't made him come to the hospital when you did, I'd have lost him forever."
"Well," he said, looking as if he wished he were someplace - anyplace - else. In fact, he looked . . . well, almost as if he already were someplace else. He was much less opaque than usual. "I mean, you were crying. And calling me. When it was Jesse you should have been calling."
"I thought Jesse was gone," I said. "So I called you. Because you've always been there when I really needed you. And you were there for me then, too. You saved him, Dad. And I just wanted to let you know how much that meant to me. Especially since I know you didn't agree with my going - you know - in the first place."
My dad reached up to straighten my orchid. But for some reason, instead of being able to grab onto it, his fingers seemed to go right through the waxy petals. Suddenly, I realized what was happening. And there was nothing I could do but stand there, looking up at him, tears gathering beneath my eyelids.
"Yeah, sorry about that," Dad went on, meaning our disagreement about my going back through time to "save" Jesse. He was growing physically fainter and fainter with every word. And it wasn't just because I was looking at him through a veil of tears. "It's just that if you'd gone back and saved my life, it would have been like . . . well, like I'd died - and been hanging around for the past ten years for nothing."
"It wasn't for nothing, Dad," I said, holding as tightly as I could to the hand that, even as I spoke, I could feel slipping away. "It was for Jesse. And for me. That's why you're finally ready to move on. See for yourself."
Dad looked down at himself and then at me, clearly stunned.
"It's okay, Dad," I said, reaching up with my free hand to wipe the tears from my face.
He was almost impossible to see now . . . just a shimmer of color and light, and a faint pressure on my hand. But I could tell he was grinning. Grinning and crying at the same time. Just like I was. "I'll miss you."
"Take care of your mother for me," he said quickly, as if he were afraid of being snatched away before he could get the words out.
"I will," I promised.
"And be good," he said.
"Am I ever anything but?" I asked, my voice breaking.
Then, with a shimmer, he disappeared.
Forever.
It was a long time before I could go back to where Jesse was standing. I'd had to cry for a while behind one of the palm trees, then repair the damage those tears had done with the makeup from my bag. When I finally returned to Jesse's side, he looked down at me, and smiled.
"He's gone?" he asked.
"He's gone," I said automatically. Then I gasped.
"Jesse . . ." I stared up at him. "Can you . . . did you . . . ?"
"See you talking to your father just then?" he asked, the corners of his lips twitching a little. "Yes."
"Then you can . . ." I was completely dumbfounded. "You can . . ."
"See and speak to ghosts?" Jesse grinned in the moonlight. "Apparently so. Why? Is that a problem?"
"No. Except that . . . that would mean - " I could barely believe what I was saying. "That means you're a - "
"Querida," Jesse said, pulling me toward him. "Let's just dance."
But I was still too stunned to think of anything else. Jesse - my Jesse - was no longer a ghost. He was a mediator.
Like me.
"The only thing I don't understand," Jesse was saying, his breath warm in my ear, "is why it took him all this time."
I swayed in Jesse's arms, barely registering what he was saying. Jesse is a mediator, was all I could think. Jesse's a mediator now.