Within a week Robert had his almanac ready, an almanac that would last for a whole year. He labored long on the letters of the front page to make them look like those of the old almanac.
All almanacs were prefaced with a chapter on some subject of interest to the reader; for Anno 1850, this chapter was entitled: “Watering of Meadows and Fertilizing Same.” Robert also began his almanac with a chapter of general interest and information; he wrote a description of North America which he had long had in mind and for which he had gathered notes. In his description he had changed and corrected all earlier, false descriptions of the New World.
ALMANAC
FOR THE YEAR
AFTER OUR LORD’S BIRTH
1851
Which Year is Considered to be the Fivethousandeighthundredfiftythird from the Creation.
At Stockholm Horizon
59 degr. 20½ min Lat.
Without
His Royal Maj.’s Permission or Instruction
Written, issued and sewn together
by
Axel Robert Nilsson from Sweden.
In the Year 1850 Emigrated to
N. America
In Accordance with His Majesty’s Pleasure and Decree of August 10, 1819, the small Almanacs are hereafter to be sold, cut and bound, for 4 Skilling Banco apiece, which in American money is 3 cents Silver; whosoever dares increase this price or whosoever at the sale of almanacs offers them uncut or unbound at 4 Sk. apiece, will be fined 33 Riksdaler 16 Skilling Banco for each offence.
A New Description of the United States of North America
Truthfully written down after personal inspection on the spot. Begun during a Steamship Journey on the Mississippi July 27, 1850.
First Part
A skipper named Christoffer Columbus was the first white man to discover the United States of North America. Columbus arrived in the Northamerican Republic almost four hundred years before me, and he showed other Immigrants and Skippers the way here. He was later put into prison and severely punished.
North America is a very large and spacious land. If the whole Kingdom of Sweden were moved over here, it would hardly be noticed. Here the sun sets each evening six hours later than in Sweden, which is caused by all clocks and watches being six hours late. But the country is so large and broad that the sun hasn’t time to set everywhere at the same hour; far to the west in North America it does not set until many hours after dark.
The inhabitants of North America all speak English, due to the fact that they made themselves free of England’s tyranny by melting the lead of the English King’s statue in New York and making bullets of him. The English tongue is also called the language of the stutterers, because a stuttering person can speak it most easily. Most of the words are very short, and if they are too long they are bitten off in speech, and a stutterer will easier remember to bite off a word at the right moment.
Watercourses are in many places full of diseases, and the summers are often warm and unhealthy. It is better to take land in the forest, where the lakes are full of fish, than to settle on the prairies, where the rivers are full of fevers and chills. One can buy a horse and wagon and travel comfortably through North America, but this is expensive and takes a long time, for the country is large. Instead one can without danger to life ride on the Steam Wagon. Then one does not need a guide, for the Steam Wagon follows the road without concern to the rider. Two ruts are in North America called a road. Steamships move on all rivers faster than the current. They are also called Packets because they freight packets of mail. During the winter, ice lies on top of the running water, closing all passage of ships.
The rumors concerning white immigrants being sold as slaves in North America and sent to the Infidel Turk are without foundation. This I have been able to ascertain on the spot. Black people are offered for sale at their full price, but whites are not in demand and without value.
Second Part
The oldest Americans in this country are savages and called Indians. They do not have red skins as so falsely has been written before; they are brown. Because they are of a different color than the white Americans, they do not wish to live orderly or work. When the browns are killed they sometimes make great objections and attack white settlers. The tame Indians go about free everywhere with gray blankets over their heads.
The Indians are heathens but do not eat people as heathens are accustomed to, in their simple-mindedness, but live on wild seed called rice which grows among the reeds of the lakes. The grains are small and consequently it takes a long time to eat one’s sufficiency. For solid fare the Indians use the same food as John the Baptist in the desert: fried grasshoppers and wild honey and other larger and smaller animals. But when they meet a dangerous rattlesnake in the forest they say to him in all friendliness: Go your way and I will go mine! Him they do not kill.
The Indians live from hunting and such tilling as does not require work. On small patches they grow a grain which has no heads but a kind of root-stock, because this grain saves labor and requires no threshing with flail. The Indians paint their axes in all colors. But they do not use the axes for cutting trees or wood, only for smashing skulls of people and animals. When the Indian sees an enemy near by, he immediately cuts off the scalp and hangs it with the hair to dry outside his tent when the weather is fine. The one who hangs out the greatest number of scalps is highest in the tribe. Scalps without hair are without value and are not counted. Bald people are not scalped but allowed to run about.
The Indians are very clever at shooting with arrows. Even when they have climbed a tree and had their neck pierced through with the tree top they are able to shoot many arrows. In such cases, however, they seldom hit their aim. The men are the wisest and most intelligent among the Indians. The women do all the work.
Third Part
All people in North America call each other you, regardless of position, riches, or situation. The word is the same as the Swedish du (thou) and is pronounced like the Swedish jo (yes); this word can be used to anyone without danger. It is not forbidden to remove one’s hat in greeting but it is degrading in the North American Republic and not used.
In this country it is not — as in Sweden — considered distinguished or fine to show one’s great fortune in a round and fat body; in North America a skinny person is considered and honored as much as a fat one.
The livestock of North America enjoy so much good grazing that their horns sometimes are invisible in the tall grass. All cattle are big, beautiful, and very expensive. Even the women of North America are scarce and of high value.
Examinations in the Catechism are not held in the North American Republic. This I have ascertained after investigations on the spot. Authorities in America are not like in Sweden — eternal and mighty. This is so because it is not as in Sweden — put in its place by God. Government exists maybe but is not seen. Those in Power do not use the Catechism to keep the populace in obedience. No one need obey another unless he murders or steals. If anyone obeys anyone else in North America then it is because he is still too much Swedish.
The way from Sweden to North America is one-fourth the circumference of the globe, which prevents most Swedes from moving here.
Not in one word have I departed from the truth in this my Description of North America in the Almanac of Anno 1851.
