Sly stepped forward. "It will be my honor to announce the winner who will bear the title of Sexiest Man on Earth."
"If for any reason," Gregori interrupted, "the winner is unable to fulfill his duties as the Sexiest Man on Earth, the runner-up will be given the title and reward in his stead."
Sly held the four-foot-long check in front of his chest. His eyes twinkled with excitement. "Roberto of Buenos Aires?"
"Yes?" Roberto stepped forward. His eyes gleamed as he reached for the check.
"You lose." Sly chuckled at his cruel joke.
Roberto's smile froze. "What?"
Austin's face paled. He stepped back.
"The Sexiest Man on Earth is Adam from Wisconsin!" Sly announced.
Gregori pushed a stunned Austin forward.
"Congratulations!" Sly grabbed Austin's hand and pumped it. "Here's your check for five million dollars." He shoved the giant posterboard into Austin's arms.
The ladies, except for Vanda, clapped politely.
Sly motioned to the women. "And here is your brand-new harem!"
Austin's gulp was audible. "I–I don't deserve this." He tried to hand the check back to Sly.
Sly laughed. "Now, don't be shy. The ladies picked you."
"Then they are fools!" Roberto shouted. "How could they choose this… this ruffian over me?"
"Hush," Maggie told him.
"Look," Austin said. "I don't want a harem."
The ladies gasped.
"You don't want us?" Cora Lee whimpered.
"I'm sure you're very nice ladies, and I've actually grown fond of you all, but you don't want me. I–I'm not your type."
Princess Joanna frowned. "You prefer men?"
Bart's eyes lit up. Literally.
"No!" Austin gritted his teeth. "I only want one woman. The one I love. Darcy." He shot her a beseeching look for help.
Everyone stared at Darcy. Bart stuck his camera in her face. She winced at the bright lights in her eyes.
"Well, isn't that sweet," Cora Lee murmured.
"Yes," Lady Pamela agreed. "We'll just keep Darcy in the harem, too. Then, we can all be happy."
"Wait a minute," Austin interrupted. "That's not gonna happen." He gave Darcy an apologetic look.
"I know this will cause trouble, but everyone should know that I'm mortal."
A series of gasps crossed the room. Vanda and Maggie exchanged worried looks with Darcy.
She sighed. Now it would really get ugly. "It's true." She walked forward and took the flashlight from Gregori.
"It cannot be true," Princess Joanna insisted. "We saw him lift the settee with one hand."
Darcy pointed the flashlight at Roberto's portrait, and his fangs appeared. She lit up Austin's picture. Nothing.
More gasps.
"He's a mortal?" Sly demanded. "I just gave five million dollars to a damned mortal?"
"I didn't intend to win." Austin held out the check. "You can have it back."
"No." Darcy shoved the check back at Austin. "You earned it. You're the Sexiest Man on Earth."
His eyes flashed. "I don't want a harem! Why didn't you tell me about that?"
"You weren't supposed to get this far," Darcy shot back.
"This is your fault!" Sly pointed a finger at Darcy. "You let a mortal win. I warned you what would happen."
Darcy's eye twitched. "He won fair and square."
"No!" Sly shouted. "No mortal could defeat a vampire. You've betrayed us all." He leaned forward and hissed, "You're fired."
Darcy flinched. She tried to turn away, but Bart had the camera in her face. Great. Fired on international television and labeled a traitor in front of the vampire world. She'd never find employment again.
"You can't fire her." Austin glared at Sly. "It was my fault. She begged me over and over to get myself eliminated."
"But that would have been fixing the contest," Gregori observed. "By attempting to stay in, you kept it fair."
"Who gives a shit about being fair?" Sly yelled. His eyes narrowed on Gregori. "You're fired." Gregori shrugged. "You should have that phrase patented. You do it so well."
Lady Pamela raised a hand to attract everyone's attention. "We still have a problem here. We cannot have a mortal master. How would he protect us?"
"Aye," Princess Joanna agreed. "Our master must be a vampire."
"Well, he's not," Sly growled. His eyes widened suddenly as if an idea had just popped into his head. He cast a sly look in Austin's direction. "Though his condition could be changed."
Darcy gasped. "No."
Austin dropped the check on the floor. His face paled.
The ladies exchanged looks.
"Are you suggesting we transform him?" Princess Joanna asked.
Sly shrugged. "If you want him, take him."
"Whoa!" Austin raised his hands. "I'm not agreeing to this."
"You can't transform someone against their will," Darcy insisted.
"Why not?" Sly sneered. "Did anyone ask you for your permission?"
Her eye twitched.
"Come on, ladies." Sly gave them an encouraging smile. "You'll get the man you wanted and five million dollars. Which one of you has the guts to do the deed?"
Austin grabbed the check off the floor. "Look, ladies. I'll give you the check if you leave me alone."
Their eyes widened.
"You'd give us the money?" Vanda asked.
"No!" Roberto cried. "He is disqualified. That money is mine!"
"Hush," Gregori muttered. "Look, Sly. Darcy's right. You can't transform this guy against his will."
Sly glared at him. "Who's listening to you? You're fired, too." He turned to the camera. "Ladies and gentlemen, this will be the most exciting moment in vampire history! A live transformation performed right before your very eyes."
"You can't do it." Darcy clenched her fists. "You can't transform someone without killing him first."
"Your point?"
She gave an exasperated huff. "It's murder. Don't you think that's a bit… unethical, even for television?"
Sly shrugged. "But imagine the ratings."
Austin stepped in front of a camera. "I'd like to state for the record that I'm thoroughly opposed to murder. Especially my own."
Princess Joanna waved a hand in dismissal. "Relax, young man. We're not going to kill you."
"No." Maria Consuela clutched her rosary. "It is evil."
Lady Pamela shook her head. "We don't need a master that badly."
"Yes, you do!" Roberto jumped forward. "You need me."
"Hush," Vanda muttered.
"You don't need a master at all," Austin stated. "You just need a little financial assistance to help get you on your feet." He laid the check across the ladies' laps.
"Oh, my!" Cora Lee gasped. "All this money. Whatever will we do with it all?"
"I–I suppose we could go into trade?" Lady Pamela suggested.
Vanda grinned. "Let's open our own male dancer club. With vampire men."
The ladies jumped to their feet, all jabbering at the same time. Laughing, they scurried toward the door with their giant check.
"Wait!" Roberto called after them. "Come back with my money."
"Adios, Roberto." Vanda shut the door.
"Come back!" Roberto stomped a foot on the floor. "You must do as I say. I am your master!"
The ladies' laughter could be heard from the foyer. Maggie grabbed Austin and escorted him from the room. Darcy sighed with relief that he was safe.
Sly turned to her. "You crazy bitch."
She gulped. Her nightmare wasn't over.
"Hey." Gregori grasped Sly by the arm. "Don't talk to her like that."
Sly pulled his arm free. "Look at what she's done. We don't have a winner. The women have run off with the money. The whole thing is a freaking disaster."
"I disagree." Darcy lifted her chin. "It's more like a miraculous transformation. Those ladies once believed they couldn't survive without a master. They were trapped in the past and frozen with fear and self-doubt. But they blossomed before our eyes. Now, they're strong, independent, intelligent women who know the truth. They don't need a master."