WOMAN He probably works for the Russian Government.
Or a newspaper. A Russian newspaper. Or worse. He could even be a blogger Andrew.
Did he threaten you?
Who knows? But whoever, or whatever he was, or is, it’s got nothing to do with us.
ANDREW But are you going to find out about him?
WOMAN You get people like that all the time.
ANDREW It doesn’t bother you.
WOMAN Nah.
ANDREW I thought you were protecting me?
WOMAN Well as I said, it’s hard for me to justify that if you’re not one of us.
Pause.
You’re in a bit of mess aren’t you?
Long pause.
ANDREW I think there’s going to be a war.
Beat.
WOMAN Have you gone all –
ANDREW I’m serious.
WOMAN Okay. Okay, but with your shirt off, and saying things like that it makes me think you’re either like Brando in Apocalypse Now, or that you’re about to go on some kind of mass killing – when you say war –
ANDREW Have you got a bank account?
WOMAN So we’re sort of skitting between topics here?
ANDREW …
WOMAN Yes, I have got a bank account. I’ve got several actually. Different banks. Different names in fact, but that’s –
ANDREW Do you trust that your money will be there? When you want it?
WOMAN Yes.
ANDREW …
WOMAN No. That’s why I have the money in different banks.
ANDREW In different countries I expect as well.
WOMAN Yes.
ANDREW So you don’t trust the banks.
WOMAN Okay, there’s a glimpse here of where this is going –
ANDREW You don’t trust the government, we’ve established that.
WOMAN Right.
ANDREW God?
WOMAN Yes? Oh sorry, you weren’t talking to me.
ANDREW Do you trust God?
WOMAN No Andrew of course I don’t trust God.
ANDREW Or the church.
WOMAN Ha!
ANDREW …
WOMAN No.
ANDREW We’re ruling things out. Aren’t we? Free-market capitalism.
WOMAN I’m on the left.
ANDREW Marxism then?
WOMAN Wouldn’t it be great if it actually worked though?
ANDREW The law.
WOMAN Of course not.
ANDREW Police
WOMAN Ha ha.
ANDREW What then? What do you, with your degrees, and your self-proclaimed passion, what do you believe in? The thing that you tie your spirit and your work and your exertion to, what is the set of values that gets you through the day?
WOMAN Progress.
We get better.
ANDREW I see no evidence for that.
Long pause.
WOMAN Wifi!
ANDREW What?
WOMAN We’ve never had wifi before. And yes, I know that sounds facetious and I know you’re feeling this passionately so bear with me – but we literally in the history of civilisation, have never invented or used wifi before, the dinosaurs didn’t have it, the Victorians didn’t have it, we didn’t have it in the nineties.
ANDREW That’s progress?
WOMAN That’s an example. Violence across the world is down. Poverty is down. Education is up. Emancipation of women is up. We’re not doing as badly as you think.
ANDREW We’re heading for something bad.
WOMAN Maybe. But when that’s done, we’ll move on.
ANDREW Yeah but actually when that’s done you’ll be dead and I’ll be dead, I’m not talking about a small war like the Second World War, I’m talking about a complete and global collapse of every state, of every institution. We’re like – that – far away. It’s about to happen. We can’t see it because we’re hiding behind the walls but if you live in Sudan, Kenya, Iraq, Syria, Tunisia, Greece, Ukraine – you’ve felt literally felt on your skin the effect of this collapse. You know, in a way that we don’t yet, what is about to happen.
WOMAN No wifi.
ANDREW No water, electricity, no food, no security, yes no wifi. This isn’t a sort of conspiracy thing, this is real. And it will happen not because it needs to but because we don’t trust anyone. We’ve all lost faith. As the rich get richer, and the politicians become so detached they cannot speak without hypocrisy, as the average experience means increasingly nothing, and resentment grows, when we all believe in nothing and credit, trust, is gone, it will all crumble.
Beat.
In many ways it already has.
WOMAN You’re going through a thing tonight, aren’t you? It makes sense.
ANDREW That’s why I did it. Released all that stuff. Because the only way to stabilise our faith in what we’re doing is to see the contradictions – expose the systems – and discuss and then move towards something we can get behind. Something more fair, more open and transparent. Not authority but real consent.
WOMAN Yeah. That’s right. Exactly. That’s what we think too.
ANDREW I don’t know what you think. You don’t articulate it. You’re more into secrets than any of them.
WOMAN To protect ourselves.
ANDREW Well that’s not going to work, so here’s my deal, George. You tell me who you really are, your real name, and then I’ll get on board. You trust me. I’ll trust you. And we’ll save the world.
WOMAN Alright. Well. My real name is Sarah.
Sarah Lishman.
Pause.
Sorry. That’s not true.
This is hard. Alright. Actually? Really…?
I’m Charlotte. Waters.
Pause.
Or am I?
You see this is impossible. I could just be making stuff up. How do I prove it? You know what I mean? Apart from saying that I’m this lady stood in this room with this face and body how do I go about proving to you in a way that will be acceptable, who I really am?
He doesn’t answer.
She reaches into the bag, and gives him a plastic cowboy hat.
I got this from one of the girls downstairs. It was one of her props, and I thought since you were American, then you’d like it.
ANDREW …
WOMAN An outlaw.
ANDREW …
WOMAN Howdee.
Pause.
ANDREW It was what they wanted. Not just the founding fathers but the pilgrim fathers. When they got on the boat. They sought a place they could start again and act how they wanted. Free from authority and the systems that held them. They wanted to make something new and they did.
WOMAN After they wiped out the people who were already there. And before the country fell into an essentially lawless state for quite a few decades.
ANDREW Yeah.
Pause.
I’ve never felt less free. Whether I’m in this room or not. Even before I did it. I felt utterly trapped. Between giving my bank statements for the whole year so I could get a mortgage, and my health payments, and my movements known to companies, and what I like, and who I am, and recorded on CCTV every day. Being in this room. At least there aren’t any cameras here.
WOMAN Well…
ANDREW Really?
WOMAN Yeah. Probably the Russians put a couple in, that’s why they put you here. And we’ve got one going too. So yeah – it’s all monitored.
ANDREW Okay.
WOMAN Yee-ha. They’ll love the hat.
Beat.
ANDREW Well it’s going to have to be something to do with your body isn’t it?
WOMAN Are you aware that sounds really creepy?
ANDREW I mean how do I know that you mean what you say, how do I know I’m not just one of many people you are lying to, and that this is fundamental to your life’s work, well you’re going to have to do something to yourself that’s unique. That you haven’t done before or since.