“Not yet anyway. We haven’t found anything since then, but we’ll keep looking.”
“Be careful,” Sabine said. “I don’t want to have to go back in after you.” But she would if it came to that. That’s what she was really saying, and the unspoken promise was not lost on me.
“Don’t worry. Tod and I are going in together or not at all. We’ll watch out for each other.”
Before heading back to the hospital, I went into the living room to check on everyone else. Emma was already asleep in the recliner, stretched out as close to horizontal as the chair would go. Sophie and Luca were curled up on the couch together, even though the twin mattress he’d blown up for himself was only a couple of feet away. He slept on the outside, curled around my cousin with his arm draped over her stomach. Anything that wanted Sophie would have to go through Luca first, and seeing them together made my heart ache.
Seeing Emma alone made my heart ache even more.
Not seeing my dad in his bed—not hearing him snore in the middle of an otherwise quiet night—also made my heart ache so fiercely I let it stop beating altogether, just to spare myself the pain.
Chapter Seventeen
“Are you sure you want to go to school? You could just stay here with me.” Tod patted the vinyl cushion next to him on the hospital waiting room couch, and I sat sideways to face him, trying to ignore the dozen early morning patients, none of whom could see or hear us.
“I wish I could stay here with you. I wish I never had to go anywhere else. But Em, Nash, and Sabine are going. We’re still hoping to turn the hellions against one another, and if one of them possesses someone at school, I might be needed.”
That was true. But it wasn’t the whole truth. I needed to talk to Ira again, and if Tod knew what I was thinking, he’d insist on going with me. I couldn’t let that happen for two reasons.
First, I didn’t want them to meet. I didn’t want Tod manipulated by the hellion of rage like I’d been. I didn’t want him touched by evil any more than he already had been.
Second, I didn’t want Tod to be upset by—or stand in the way of—any payment made to Ira if I needed to buy more information, and as badly as I hated to think about it, that possibility was looking pretty...um...possible. He understood the lines I would cross—and those I wouldn’t—to get my dad back, because he’d do just about anything to protect his mother. But he didn’t need to actually see payment rendered. Especially considering that his anger would just make it even easier for Ira to feed from him.
I felt bad about lying to Tod—even a lie of omission—but I’d feel worse if my inaction led to someone else’s death. Especially my father’s.
“I only have one more reaping this shift, so I’ll cross over and keep looking as much as I can.”
“Alone?” My heart thumped painfully. “We decided not to go alone.” What if Avari caught him? What if something else caught him? What if he disappeared into the Netherworld never to be seen again, and I never found out whether he died, or got lost, or fell victim to eternal torture, or—
“I’ll be fine.” His blue-eyed gaze cut through the fear spiraling up my spine. “My mom’s hurt, and I don’t know how bad it is. I need to get her out of there. And while I’m there, I’ll be composing a huge list of places your dad isn’t.” He shrugged. “We’ve got to narrow it down somehow, right?”
I gave him a halfhearted nod, trying not to think about the possibility that Avari could be moving him around. How, if that were the case, we might never find him. “Just...be careful, and text me once an hour, or I’ll assume you’ve been captured and I’ll come after you. I swear I will.”
He smiled. “I believe you. And I’ll see you at lunch.” We’d learned early in our relationship that I couldn’t concentrate on school when he came to class with me, even though no one else could see him.
“I’ll be there.” But lunch felt like an eternity away. Like one of those mirage illusions that got farther away the longer you walked toward it.
Thoughts of what was coming—what I might have to do—churned in my stomach and weighed heavily in my heart. I wanted to tell him about the idea that had taken root in the back of my brain overnight, and about how I would do almost anything to avoid what was starting to look like the only way out of this, for my friends, my family, and for me. For us.
I wanted to tell Tod everything. Not telling him felt uncomfortable, like I was building a barrier between us. Like I couldn’t quite reach him through the wall neither of us could see or touch, but he was surely starting to feel. But I couldn’t tell him, because he’d be as determined to stop me as I was determined to go through with it. He’d be more determined, especially if his mother died, because then Nash and I would be all that he had left, and he’d be that much more determined to keep either of us from...
I blinked and buried that thought before he could see it swirling in my eyes. But I wasn’t as fast as he was observant.
“You okay?” He turned my face toward his and ran one finger all the way from the back of my jaw to the tip of my chin, and I almost confessed everything with one look at the maelstrom of grief, frustration, and devotion churning in every imaginable shade of blue in his irises.
“No. I’m not okay.” I let that one truth resonate in my voice and show in my eyes. “None of us are okay.” And we weren’t going to be until Avari was no longer a threat. Unfortunately, the longer I thought about the task in front of us, the more impossible it seemed to accomplish. On our own, anyway... “But we will be.”
He smiled and pulled me closer. “When you say it like that, with that look in your eyes, I can almost believe it.”
Well, that made one of us.
First and second periods dragged like no high school class has ever dragged before or since. I had no idea what I was supposed to learn in chemistry, and if the fate of the world ever came to hinge upon my understanding of time as the fourth dimension—which was only marginally relevant to the math lesson—we were all goners.
When the bell rang to end second period, I was the first one out of my chemistry classroom. I waved to Em in the hall and brushed off a question from Chelsea Simms, then ducked into the nearest restroom. As soon as I was sure it was empty—for the moment—I faded from human sight and spared a moment to hope Chelsea wasn’t waiting for me to come out of the bathroom.
Then I blinked into the kitchen of a local doughnut shop, which had sat empty since Thane had killed the owner a month earlier. The doughnut shop had both sharp objects and privacy, everything necessary to summon a demon, as far as I could tell. Which was fortunate, because there was no way I’d invite Ira into my home, even if I could be sure of my control over him while he was there under the power of my blood. And I was far from sure of that.
The cut on my left palm hadn’t yet healed and I wouldn’t be able explain an identical one on my opposite hand, so I made a cut at the top of my forearm instead, near my left elbow. That turned out to be ill-planned, at best. It was much harder to direct the flow of blood from halfway up my arm than from my hand, but after a couple of minutes and several drops spilled on my jeans, I had enough blood on the floor to write with.
I pressed a stack of folded napkins against the new cut and bent my arm at the elbow to hold it in place. Then I made the creepiest finger painting in history.
Ira appeared in front of me the second his name fell from my tongue. He stared down at me with featureless, red-veined black eyes, and though his lips didn’t actually curve up on the ends, I could swear he was smiling. “How wonderful to see you again, Ms. Cavanaugh. And you look so blisteringly angry!”