Tinker took a deep breath and let it out in deep, heart-felt sigh. "This is going to be like being dragged through thorns - there's so much I regret. So many ways I've fucked up."
"This is not to punish yourself, beloved. Nothing is gained from that. The worth comes from reflecting on the events - removed from the passion that blinded you at the time - and learning from the mistakes."
"Easier said than done."
"Think of it as something that has happened to someone else - the person that you used to be and not the person you are now."
She nodded and lit the candle of memory. Together, they clapped to call the god's attention to them and bestowed their gifts of silver on the altar. They sat in companionable silence, waiting to reach perfect calmness before starting the ceremony. Wolf reached his center quickly, but waited until Tinker was ready to pick up the cup of tears and taste the bitter memories.
He allowed himself to reflect on his failure with Jewel Tears and the bitter things she had to say to him. There was some truth in what she had to say. He allowed silence to create a gulf between his heart and hers, so that their dreams took different form. He would have to remember this, remind himself to keep his heart open to his beloved, so that they could share their dreams.
Dawn was breaking, and the cups of tears were drained, so they set aside their bitter memories. As light spilled into the temple, they lifted the cup of joys.
All Wolf's new moments of happiness centered on Tinker. They were scattered through his days, bright like diamonds. As he took them out, played them close and stored them away, he found a pattern to them. In every occasion, he had known he had at last found the one that could not only understand his vision, but see possibilities that he hadn't considered, and had the ability to make it real. He found at the root of it all, a loneliness he hadn't allowed himself to acknowledge, an awareness that he had been totally alone while surrounded by people, an emptiness now completely filled.
"Are you okay?" Tinker asked him in English.
He smiled. He had told her that he felt most free speaking English, and by her answering look, she remembered. "Yes, I am very content at this moment."
"Good. So am I." But then unease seeped into her eyes.
"What is it, beloved?"
"You probably have someplace to go, something you need to do."
He held out his hand to her, and she took it, interlacing their fingers. "What I need is to sit here with my domi and talk about what we want to do next."
THE END