I didn’t hear the gate or the car motor—just the sudden loud spray of gravel close behind us. We jumped back, hastily releasing each other as Luke drove into the four-car garage.
But instead of going directly into the house, he came back out to the driveway and squinted at us.
“Hey, guys. What are you doing out here?” The casual tone would have been reassuring, except it was arguably a little too casual.
Which meant he’d seen us before we’d broken apart.
I said, “We were just on our way in. We have to get the bags.”
“Yes,” George said. “The bags.” His eyes sought out mine, a little desperately. Luke was his brother’s boss. And he was Luke. And he’d seen us kissing.
“All right,” Luke said easily. “I’ll see you two inside.” But he kept glancing back at us as he went into the house.
George got the bags out of the trunk, while I retrieved the books from the front seat. “Do you think he’s okay with this?” he asked as we went up to the front door.
“He’ll have to be,” I said. My hands were shaking, but it had nothing to do with fear.
We carried our purchases into the kitchen. Mom and Grandma and Luke were all in there. They fell silent the moment we entered.
“I think we got everything,” George said.
“I’m sure you did,” Luke said, and Grandma giggled.
“Thank you, George,” Mom said with a reproving look at her own mother. “You too, Ellie.”
“You’re welcome,” George said, and there was an awkward silence.
“We’re going to go get frozen yogurt,” I said suddenly.
“We are?” George said. Then, “Right. Yes. Let’s go.”
We said good-bye and crept out of the room. Luke murmured something we couldn’t hear, and all three of them laughed from behind us.
“Your face is bright red,” I told George as he held the front door open for me.
“I can’t imagine why,” he said.
thirty-three
Outside, I said, “We don’t have to get frozen yogurt. That was just a panic plan. We could go . . . I don’t know . . .” A sideways glance. “Maybe your place?”
“I like the frozen yogurt plan,” he said, opening the passenger door and gesturing inside. “I need a little time to process all this. You work fast.”
“You work slowly,” I said, and climbed into the car.
We filled big cups with frozen yogurt and he paid for them, which may have been gallantry or may have been because I’d forgotten to bring my wallet. “You do this to all the guys, don’t you?” he said, carrying the cups to the table.
“Only the ones I want to take advantage of.”
But when we sat down at a table and I lifted a spoonful of yogurt to my mouth, I suddenly didn’t want it. “I can’t eat right now,” I said, dropping my spoon.
“I know.” He shoved his own dish away. “I can’t either.”
I leaned forward. “Tell me.”
“What?”
“Everything.”
“Everything?” He sat back in his seat and pushed his leg against mine. I pushed back, just as hard. “I was born at Saint Vincent Hospital. . . .”
“Everything that has to do with me.”
“Yeah, I should have guessed that was what you meant.”
I reached out across the table. His hand curved up to meet mine. I said, “Heather thought you liked her because you were always so much nicer to her than to me. And I thought maybe she was right. You need to explain that right now. Why were you so much nicer to her than to me? Why did she rate a stuffed bunny and I didn’t?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he said. “I was terrified of showing how I felt about you. You were my boss’s daughter and even if that was okay, you already had a boyfriend. A slimy, obnoxious snake of a boyfriend, I might add.”
“None of that is true,” I said. “He wasn’t my boyfriend and he’s not a slimy snake.”
“You can’t deny he’s self-centered and selfish.”
“Yeah, but so am I—you said so yourself.”
He shook his head. “No, you’re not. Not really. Not deep down. But I think that’s why it bothered me so much when you were mean to your grandmother—I could see how Aaron was changing you, how he was teaching you to only think about yourself, to be just like him.”
“In fairness to him, I was never all that nice to Grandma,” I said. “I mean, until you told me I should be.”
“Yeah, that conversation . . .” He smiled at me ruefully. “I thought that was it for our friendship—let alone anything else. I didn’t think you’d ever talk to me again. You couldn’t get away from me fast enough.”
“I was embarrassed. You had seen what a jerk I could be.”
“I didn’t think you were a jerk. Just that you were letting Aaron influence you too much. I felt like I had one last chance to make a difference.”
“And then you gave up. You barely talked to me after that.”
“What was I supposed to do?”
“Yell at me more?”
“Yes,” he said. “Because girls like it so much when guys criticize them.”
“I did,” I said.
He laughed. “No, you didn’t. You were good-natured enough to tolerate it, that’s all. Which is actually pretty impressive. Most people would have been resentful.”
“I liked that you cared whether or not I was a decent human being.”
“You are a decent human being,” he said. “You just forget to be when you’re around Aaron.”
“Stop blaming him for my defects!”
“It’s how I see it.”
“Well, you’re wrong. I’m defective all on my own. Anyway, if you were worried I’d hate you for criticizing me, you could have thrown in a compliment now and then. Why didn’t you ever say anything nice to me?”
“Too dangerous. I didn’t want you to guess how I felt. It wasn’t safe to look at you too much. Or smile at you too much. Or praise you too much—”
“Let’s be honest,” I said. “You were never in danger of that.”
“Probably not,” he agreed, and I liked the mischief in his glance.
“So you were nicer to Heather so no one would notice how much you liked me?”
“More or less.”
“Then you’re just like Aaron,” I said triumphantly. “He paid attention to me so no one would notice how much he liked Crystal.”
He shifted away, withdrawing his hand from mine. “That was completely different.”
“Don’t get mad just because I’m right.”
“You’re not right and I’m not mad.” He fingered the end of his spoon, then looked up again. “But I’ll admit I don’t like being compared to that asshole.”
“That asshole is one of my best friends,” I said. “You have to learn to like him.”
“The sad thing is that I like him better now that I know he had an affair with his stepmother than I did when I thought he was having a perfectly appropriate relationship with you.”
“Wow,” I said. “You totally lack any moral compass. Which may not be a bad thing.” I snuck my hand under the table and touched his leg. “If we’re not going to eat our yogurt, can’t we just go to your place?”
He rubbed his temple, like his head hurt. “God knows I want to.”
“So?”
“I just want to be careful. Go slowly.”
“You’ve already ravished my virgin lips,” I said. “It’s too late to think twice.”
“Your lips weren’t virginal. I saw Aaron kiss you, remember?”
“Doesn’t count. Neither of us meant it.”
“Are you going to say that about every kiss you’ve ever had?”
“There haven’t been any others,” I said. “Seriously.”
“Oh, God,” he said, and rubbed his temple harder.
“That doesn’t make me any younger,” I pointed out. “Just more discriminating.”
“I guess.”
He was going to rub all the way through to his brain pretty soon. I leaned in, trailing my fingers along the top of his thigh, and said, “Come on. I want to be somewhere alone with you. Are you really going to refuse? Why would you do that?”