‘Yes,’ said Granny Weatherwax. ‘Well.’
Magrat became aware of an uncomfortable atmosphere.
‘You did tell the truth, didn’t you?’ she said. ‘They really are brothers, aren’t they?’
‘Oh yes,’ said Gytha Ogg. ‘Definitely. I saw to his mother when your—when the new king was born. And to the queen when young Tomjon was born, and she told me who his father was.’
‘Gytha!’
‘Sorry.’
The wine was going to her head, but the wheels in Magrat’s mind still managed to turn.
‘Just a minute,’ she said.
‘I remember the Fool’s father,’ said Nanny Ogg, speaking slowly and deliberately. ‘Very personable young man, he was. He didn’t get on with his dad, you know, but he used to visit sometimes. To see old friends.’
‘He made friends easily,’ said Granny.
‘Among the ladies,’ agreed Nanny. ‘Very athletic, wasn’t he? Could climb walls like nobody’s business, I remember hearing.’
‘He was very popular at court,’ said Granny. ‘I know that much.’
‘Oh, yes. With the queen, at any rate.’
‘The king used to go out hunting such a lot,’ said Granny.
‘It was that droit of his,’ said Nanny. ‘Always out and about with it, he was. Hardly ever home o’nights.’
‘Just a minute,’ Magrat repeated.
They looked at her.
‘Yes?’ said Granny.
‘You told everyone they were brothers and that Verence was the older!’
‘That’s right.’
‘And you let everyone believe that—’
Granny Weatherwax pulled her shawl around her.
‘We’re bound to be truthful,’ she said. ‘But there’s no call to be honest.’
‘No, no, what you’re saying is that the King of Lancre isn’t really—’
‘What I’m saying is,’ said Granny firmly, ‘that we’ve got a king who is no worse than most and better than many and who’s got his head screwed on right—’
‘Even if it is against the thread,’ said Nanny.
‘—and the old king’s ghost has been laid to rest happy, there’s been an enjoyable coronation and some of us got mugs we weren’t entitled to, them being only for the kiddies and, all in all, things are a lot more satisfactory than they might be. That’s what I’m saying. Never mind what should be or what might be or what ought to be. It’s what things are that’s important.’
‘But he’s not really a king!’
‘He might be,’ said Nanny.
‘But you just said—’
‘Who knows? The late queen wasn’t very good at counting. Anyway, he doesn’t know he isn’t royalty.’
‘And you’re not going to tell him, are you?’ said Granny Weatherwax.
Magrat stared at the moon, which had a few clouds across it.
‘No,’ she said.
‘Right, then,’ said Granny. ‘Anyway, look at it like this. Royalty has to start somewhere. It might as well start with him. It looks as though he means to take it seriously, which is a lot further than most of them take it. He’ll do.’
Magrat knew she had lost. You always lost against Granny Weatherwax, the only interest was in seeing exactly how. ‘But I’m surprised at the two of you, I really am,’ she said. ‘You’re witches. That means you have to care about things like truth and tradition and destiny, don’t you?’
‘That’s where you’ve been getting it all wrong,’ said Granny. ‘Destiny is important, see, but people go wrong when they think it controls them. It’s the other way around.’
‘Bugger destiny,’ agreed Nanny.
Granny glared at her.
‘After all, you never thought being a witch was going to be easy, did you?’
‘I’m learning,’ said Magrat. She looked across the moor, where a thin rind of dawn glowed on the horizon.
‘I think I’d better be off,’ she said. ‘It’s getting early.’
‘Me too,’ said Nanny Ogg. ‘Our Shirl frets if I’m not home when she comes to get my breakfast.’
Granny carefully scuffed over the remains of the fire.
‘When shall we three meet again?’ she said. ‘Hmm?’
The witches looked at one another sheepishly.
‘I’m a bit busy next month,’ said Nanny. ‘Birthdays and such. Er. And the work has really been piling up with all this hurly-burly. You know. And there’s all the ghosts to think about.’
‘I thought you sent them back to the castle,’ said Granny.
‘Well, they didn’t want to go,’ said Nanny vaguely. ‘To be honest, I’ve got used to them around the place. They’re company of an evening. They hardly scream at all, now.’
‘That’s nice,’ said Granny. ‘What about you, Magrat?’
‘There always seems to be such a lot to do at this time of year, don’t you find?’ said Magrat.
‘Quite,’ said Granny Weatherwax, pleasantly. ‘It’s no good getting yourself tied down to appointments all the time, is it? Let’s just leave the whole question open, shall we?’
They nodded. And, as the new day wound across the landscape, each one busy with her own thoughts, each one a witch alone, they went home.[23]
THE END
About the Author
Terry Pratchett is the accliamed creator of the global bestselling Discworld® series, the first title of which, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983. In all, he is the author of over fifty bestselling books. His novels have been widely adapted for stage and screen, and he is the winner of multiple prizes, including the Carnegie Medal, as well as being awarded a knighthood for services to literature. Worldwide sales of his books now stand at 70 million, and they have been translated into thirty-seven languages.
For more information about Terry Pratchett and his books, please visit http://www.terrypratchett.co.uk
BOOKS BY TERRY PRATCHETT
The Discworld® series
1. THE COLOUR OF MAGIC
2. THE LIGHT FANTASTIC
3. EQUAL RITES
4. MORT
5. SOURCERY
6. WYRD SISTERS
7. PYRAMIDS
8. GUARDS! GUARDS!
9. ERIC (illustrated by Josh Kirby)
10. MOVING PICTURES
11. REAPER MAN
12. WITCHES ABROAD
13. SMALL GODS
14. LORDS AND LADIES
15. MEN AT ARMS
16. SOUL MUSIC
17. INTERESTING TIMES
18. MASKERADE
19. FEET OF CLAY
20. HOGFATHER
21. JINGO
22. THE LAST CONTINENT
23. CARPE JUGULUM
24. THE FIFTH ELEPHANT
25. THE TRUTH
26. THIEF OF TIME
27. THE LAST HERO (illustrated by Paul Kidby)
28. THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS EDUCATED RODENTS (for young adults)
29. NIGHT WATCH
30. THE WEE FREE MEN (for young adults)
31. MONSTROUS REGIMENT
32. A HAT FULL OF SKY (for young adults)
33. GOING POSTAL
34. THUD
35. WINTERSMITH (for young adults)
36. MAKING MONEY
37. UNSEEN ACADEMICALS
38. I SHALL WEAR MIDNIGHT (for young adults)
39. SNUFF
Other books about Discworld
THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)
THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD II: THE GLOBE (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)
THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD III: DARWIN’S WATCH (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)
TURTLE RECALL: THE DISCWORLD COMPANION … SO FAR (with Stephen Briggs)
23
There is a school of thought that says that witches and wizards can never go home. They went, though, just the same.