“Conditions for imprisoned mafia bosses are said to be pretty cushy.”
Italians are brilliant conmen who always manage to find people ready to risk their all to make a quick buck. They are expert copiers and counterfeiters, and have long dominated the traffic in art works. The fact that there is no guarantee that the works are the real thing, and may well be stolen or faked by a craftsman, only adds to the spice of the trade. Whether the buyer is looking for a Roman vase or a Modigliani sculpture, the illegal Italian art world will find him what he wants. Italian politicians have themselves set the example of corrupt behaviour by accepting vast bribes for fixing government contracts. The Italians chose to ignore this until the government of the day made the fatal mistake of muffing it – thus changing status in a flash from furbo to fesso.
There is a different police force for every occasion in Italy. There are national police, local police, traffic police, military police, financial police, railway police, secret police, private police, and so on.
“There is a different police force for every occasion in Italy.”
The carabinieri are the most evident of Italy’s police forces. Indeed, they are often involved in military as well as police activities. Despite the fact that it is extremely difficult to join their ranks, and that their officers are supposed to be the best in the Italian armed forces, they are not famed for their shining intellectual prowess. As a result, they are the butt of many Italian jokes. For example:
In the middle of a lively conversation on a train, someone asked, “By the way, have you heard the latest joke about the carabinieri?” A gentleman sitting opposite visibly stiffened, saying, “Before you continue, I should perhaps point out that I am a retired General of the Carabinieri.” “Don’t worry, sir, we’ll explain it to you later.”
Italy’s legal traditions are impressive and the country has a vast array of wonderful laws, to prevent any kind of injustice, inequality or corruption. On paper the Italian legal system, with its written civil and penal codes, seems more or less perfect.
“Italy’s laws would be perfect without the Italians, who pay little attention to most of them.”
The problems start with law enforcement. Italy’s laws would be perfect without the Italians, who pay little attention to most of them. For example, although seatbelts are compulsory, few actually wear them (in some parts of Italy their introduction led to a roaring trade in T-shirts with seatbelts printed on them). The use of car horns is officially prohibited in built-up areas, where the maximum speed limit is 30 miles per hour, but these regulations are by and large completely ignored by both the public and the police, although the police will enforce them occasionally, especially when they see people driving cars with foreign or out-of-town number plates.
Because of the very serious difficulties the Italian government has in collecting taxes, a whole series of laws exists to make sure regulations are respected. For example, until recently receipts issued by bars and restaurants as proof of payment had to be carried a minimum of 50 metres before being thrown away.
Language
“Until the end of the Second World War Italian was not widely spoken.”
Until the end of the Second World War Italian was not widely spoken. It was essentially a written language, mainly used by administrators and bureaucrats and a small caste of academics and the then members of the ruling class. The advent of television was a prime force in spreading it, and these days most Italians understand Italian and all young Italians speak it.
One of the many beauties of the language is the ease with which dimension, value or meaning can be altered by simply changing the ending of nouns and adjectives. Thus, a shoe (scarpa) can become Cinderella’s slipper (scarpina) or a skiing/hiking boot (scarpone); but doing a scarpetta (‘filling a little shoe’) means dunking a bit of croissant in one’s coffee.
A love (amore) can become a sweetheart (amoroso), or a cupid (amorino), or a mistress (amante). Italian men who hear of a bella donna, a beautiful woman, will wonder if she is in fact bellissima (stunning) or just bellina (quite pretty); maybe she is a bellona (well past her prime, but still a poser) or perhaps she is belloccia (passable, in all senses of the word). And is she worth very little (donnetta) or will she charge a fee (donnaccia)? The only way for the Latin lover to find out is by having a go, unless he is a donnicciola – one who is too timorous to try.
Italian has bequeathed to the world a vast number of musical terms: pianoforte, sonata, aria, primadonna, concerto, adagio, pizzicato, pianissimo, soprano, maestro, virtuoso and castrato. And restaurants worldwide offer pasta, pizza, mozzarella, zabaglione, grissini, cappuccino, amaretto and sambuca.
“The local dialects or languages can be almost impossible for Italians in other regions to understand.”
For their part, the Italians have adopted and adapted English/American words with huge enthusiasm – lifting (face-lift), telemarketing, cliccare sul mouse (to click on the mouse), lo zapping (channel hopping). They also use English words that English-speakers would hardly recognise: for example, Italian football stars invariably refer to their trainers as ‘il Mister’. English words are even invented and then exported, sometimes with surprising success, such as ‘body’, which threatens to replace leotard.
But when they are at home in their villages Italians speak the local dialects or languages, which can be almost impossible for gli altri in other regions to understand. One survey found that of the E.U.’s 28 minority language communities, 13 were in Italy. There are French-speaking Italians in the Aosta Valley, German-speaking Italians in the Alto Adige, Slovene- and Serbo-Croat-speaking Italians in Trieste, and Albanian- and Greek-speaking Italians in Puglia, while in Sardinia there are Catalan-speaking Italians. However, with the influx of immigrants, the language map of Italy is changing. The census form is accompanied by ‘How to fill it in’ instructions in multiple languages, including Arabic and Russian.
“There are still a good many Italians who speak a local dialect, and a number of Italians who have no language other than their dialect.”
In addition, local dialect is both structurally and lexically very different from Italian. There are still a good many Italians who speak a dialect, and a number of Italians who have no language other than their dialect. It is possible therefore to believe the following tale. A man from the southern region of Puglia, who has lived in Piedmont for 20 years, has a Piedmontese neighbour who greets him every day as he leaves for work. The Pugliese man speaks Italian, and the Piedmontese man understands him. But, because the Piedmontese man doesn’t speak Italian and the Pugliese has never bothered to learn Piedmontese, their conversation forever remains one-sided.