“Best thing, I suppose-although I could hardly pretend not to notice what she did with me!”
I washed and had a brief, but passionate, clinch with Stella before we dressed. The sky was slightly overcast, but it was still very warm and slightly clammy, so we dressed in the scantiest of undies and thin silk dresses, dispensing with suspender-belts and stockings.
We breakfasted and I found Jane subdued but not unfriendly. Afterwards, we all chipped in to straighten things around the bungalow. Stella took the opportunity when we had finished tidying up and Jane went to pack her bag, of giving some advice.
“We have no need to rush-we can have a last swim before we go. I'll stay in a bit longer and you can talk to her on the beach. It'll be better to get it over with before you get home.”
We had our swim.undressing in our bedrooms and going down in our costumes, not bothering with towels. Stella hung back until we were just about ready to come out of the water before going in. Jane and I waded out on to the beach, myself hanging back this time, frantically trying to think of the best way to broach the subject and seeing myself to face what Jane would almost certainly have to say about Stella and I–I did cherish one forlorn hope, though, that she might not dare accuse her own mother of such a thing, if she really knew what lesbianism was.
As we stopped and turned to look out at Stella, I decided the best thing to do would be to come right out with k.
“Let's wait here for Stella, Jane. Sit down-I want to talk to you.” I kept my voice as impersonal as I could and dropped down on the sand beside her.
“Yes, mummy?” she said with a confidence which made things even more difficult.
“You realise that what you did last night was very wrong, don't you?” Now where did I go from there? “I am your mother and…”
“All the more reason why I should want to love you and why you should let me,” she replied, her voice respectful but quite firm. Her eyes were wide as she looked at me, as though surprised that I should see things any differently.
“You call what you did love? Why do you think I smacked your bottom?”
“Well, perhaps I was a little too forward to begin with; I'm not very well up on these things, yet-I'll learn as I go along.”
“What on earth are you talking about? I don't want any repetition of last night, you understand? I should not only smack your bottom the next time-I'd also speak to your father and perhaps even your head teacher.”
She deliberately pulled the shoulder-straps of her costume down her arms and peeled it down to her waist, then relaxed on the sand, looking up at me.
“I seem to be getting all mixed up, mummy,” she said archly. “Do you mean I'm not old enough to be allowed to love you like that? Will I be able to when I'm a little older?”
“You certainly will not!”
“Not even when I'm say, about twenty-or maybe over twenty-one?”
“Not ever! Now enough of this nonsense-you know perfectly well it-it's not natural. And another thing- these morning cuddles must stop; you're getting a big girl now and not a baby any more.”
“Does that mean that you have stopped loving me? And that I mustn't love you, either?”
“Of course I still love you-you're my own daughter and I hope you will continue to love me, but without the demonstrations we've had lately. Understood?” I decided to terminate the conversation right there, breathing a sigh of intense relief as I stood up; I had got through without Stella being brought into it. I waved to her and she started to swim ashore; I began to walk towards the water to meet her.
“Mummy,” came Jane's quiet voice behind me. “Mummy-why it is that your very own daughter isn't allowed to touch you bare and yet a stranger can? Well, not a stranger-a friend!”
I swung round, heart pounding. She was getting to her feet, not looking at me.
“What? What was that you said?” My voice sounded choked, as though it didn't belong to me.
She took her time getting up and strolling across to me, finally coming to a halt only a couple of feet away, facing me, her young, naked breasts thrust forward pertly.
“I said why do I get my behind spanked for doing something that you like Stella to do?”
“That-that was in fun.”
“But I like that sort of fun, too. Is it because I'm your daughter that I can't do it? In that case,” she went on without waiting for a reply. “I could do it to Stella, couldn't I?” And she walked towards the water to meet Stella.
“Jane!” I shouted, running after her. “Don't you dare…”
“What mustn't she dare?” Stella came trotting up, splashing water all over us. She pulled off her rubber cap and shook out her hair. “I suppose we'd better be starting back pretty soon.” She looked at me and I raised hopeless eyebrows. “Tell me later,” she whispered. She turned to Jane. “Were you coming to meet me for anything special, Jane?” She asked, knowing she was forcing an issue.
“No-nothing special.” Jane backed down, but as we went up to the bungalow, she came close to breathe in my ear. “We'll have to have a longer chat later, won't we, mummy! Much longer!”
I looked at her, meeting her knowing eyes, then turned away quickly, nodding.
As soon as Stella and I got into our bedroom, I told her what had passed.
“Well, she did see us on the beach, then, or she wouldn't have been so confident. There's one thing, though-it's all out in the open now, and not hanging over your head. The next talk you have must be brief and your line must be that you've done nothing to be ashamed of; say it was just a bit of horse-play. Then get very bold and say that if you ever hear it mentioned again, you'll tan her rear for her and tell Phil and her head mistress. End of discussion-walk away. OK?”
“I suppose so.”
“You've got to play tough, darling, or she'll walk all over you. Now you do that-you realise she'd have you reporting to her room night and morning if she had the chance!”
So there we left it and started sponging each other down to gel the sand the salt water off before dressing.
All three of us cast a sorrowful look back at the bungalow as we climbed into the car.
“Don't look so down-hearted,” smiled Stella, “we'll be coming back again before very long.”
Jane insisted on sitting in the back, this time, leaning her arms on the back of our seats for most of the journey, chin resting on her hands, looking through the windscreen at the oncoming road from between our shoulders. I felt no surprise when I caught her glance dropping to our thighs or peeping down the tops of our dresses, knowing quite well that that was why she had been so “unselfish” in letting me sit in front with Stella.
The journey back was also uneventful, high-lighted by lunch and a cool lager later. Jane was polite but a little distant and thoughtful, as though gathering her mental ammunition for our coming talk. I felt a lot better about things since she had got around to bringing out what was on her mind, and, now I came to think about it, the little petting Stella and I had done back there on the beach wouldn't have looked much more than horseplay to someone standing a couple of hundred feet away, would it? Would it?!! In any event, I felt a lot more confident in approaching the next discussion.
It was about six o'clock when we pulled in to Stella's drive-way. As we got out, Jane spoke up boldly.