“And a kiss?”
I nodded. Her mouth clamped down hard, almost bruising my astonished lips. She squirmed on top of me and I actually felt her nipples harden against my breasts. Without conscious thought, my arms went round her, pressing her closer to me; my mouth opened under her ardent pressure and I heard her murmur of delight as her tongue nicked across my lips. My mouth opened wider as I felt my own nipples stirring into awareness.
Then I came to my senses. I was this girl's own mother! I pushed her off and sat up, covering my breasts with my hands.
“Jane! What did you think you were doing?” I whispered.
“Loving you! And, mummy-it was wonderful!”
“You mustn't ever do that again; it's wrong-it… it's…”
“Why is it wrong, mummy?” She looked at me all wide-eyed and innocent and I guessed she hadn't realised what she was doing. “How can anything as wonderful as that be wrong?”
“The-the way you did it! It-it seemed as though you had done it before…” I stopped, trying to find the right words. “As though you'd had experience in — in…” I couldn't find of an adequate way to phrase what I had in mind.”
“In what, mummy? How could I have experience-I only have one mother! I have cuddled you before, of course.”
“Not in that way, you haven't!”
“I must admit it did have something special about it this time, although I did it the same way as I always have-well, to start with, anyway.”
“I think you must have got lost en route!”
“'Well, tell me what was wrong?” I realised I was saying too much; these were probably the first stirring of her sex instincts and when she had become excited during our cuddle, she had pursued it, wishing to prolong the pleasurable sensations, without knowing the basic cause of them.
“Nothing wrong, darling-you nearly squashed me, that's all; I hadn't expected such a colossal bear-hug! I keep forgetting I have such a big daughter, now-forget it.”
I got up and started to dress; nothing more was said on the subject, but she looked rather thoughtful as she went into her own room.
I had a pretty tight schedule that day. Stella and I were going into town and she was to pick me up at seven. I wanted to buy a coat and she had some odds and ends to pick up, then we were going to have lunch. I was hoping she wouldn't lead me into doing anything too extravagant; while Phil gave me a more than adequate allowance, Stella could be described as of “independent means”-with a prefix “considerable”! My idea of a moderately-priced coat would not necessarily be hers.
Stella arrived as Mrs. Matthews was making coffee, which gave me a chance to put the finishing touches to my make-up while she drank a cup. Jane was still hanging about as we were about to leave.
“What are you up to today, Jane-didn't you say you were going swimming, or something?”
“I was going with Lucy, but she's-well, you know-the usual curse. So instead, Sue and I are going to her place for lunch. We'll probably play records all afternoon-I'll be home about seven, I should think.”
“Well, that'll make a change!”
“We could drop her off if she's ready,” offered Stella.
“I'm ready-I was ready ages ago, to go swimming, until Lucy phoned. It's annoying-I've only been for a swim twice since I've been home and there's only about ten days left of the holidays.”
“Sorry, darling; your father's been too busy these past few months, or we would have taken you away for a couple of weeks. Still-we'll make it up.”
We dropped Jane off and then drove on into town.
“You know, you could have taken her somewhere yourself, Rita — a girl of her age needs a complete change of atmosphere during holiday time, apart from her home, especially when she'll be swotting for exams pretty soon.”
“I know-I feel rather guilty about it, too. I had intended taking her somewhere, but one thing led to another and I kept putting it off. I really will make it up to her, though.”
We went into town and I got my coat-only a few pounds more than I had intended spending on one! Stella bought shoes and some underthings and then we went to lunch at Wheelers.
We sat back and lit cigarettes. Stella waited until the waiter had topped up our glasses with the Louis St. George, then leaned forward.
“You know-I have a friend…”
“Oh?”
“An old friend, who…”
“Intimate
friend, Stella?” I gave her a sideways glance.
She coloured slightly, then smiled.
“Well-er-as a matter of fact-yes. That's all in the past, now, of course. I still see her occasionally, but it must be a couple of years since we went to bed together.”
“Was she as nice as me in bed?”
“Sshh!” Stella looked round at the other tables. “Someone will hear you-the women who come in here together at lunch-time are all ears, trying to find something to gossip about at dinner-time! As I was about to say-this friend rang me the other day to let me know she was going abroad, probably for a year. Now she has a bungalow at Bridlington-it actually overlooks the beach. She has told me I can use it whenever I want to. Now, apropos of Jane-how about you and I taking her there this week-end? The weather has been so marvellous for the past couple of days, it must hold up for another few-the weather man says it will!”
“That's a very kind thought, Stella. She has to be back at school for the following week-end, though.”
“Well that's no problem. Today's Wednesday-we could start out on Friday and come back on Monday afternoon. That would give us a clear week-end-will Phil be all right, do you think?”
“Oh, yes-he's so immersed in work, he'd hardly notice we were gone! They're working on plans for the entrance of the Chunnel project; he'll be stuck quite happily in his den with his drawing-board over the week-end and have a prowl round the 'fridge whenever he feels hungry.” I had one small misgiving, which I didn't mention to Stella-what his reaction would be when I told him I was going to spend a week-end with “the lesbian”! But that would be solved when I told Jane was coming and that it was for her benefit.
“Then all it needs is for me to give Rose a ring-she has a flat in town. I don't have to, really, but I will, just the same-just to let her know I'm taking her up on her offer and to wish her 'bon voyage.' Let's have coffee and whatever else you want with it, and I'll take you to a club I'm a member of for a quiet drink-I'll phone Rose from there.”
“If we're going to have more to drink-a cup of coffee will be fine-I don't want to roll home stoned!”
“We've only got through one bottle of wine! Still-I'm more used to drinking than you are, so we'll settle for a coffee. I've got to drive, anyway.”
We had our coffee and left the restaurant.
“I'll leave the car in the car-park-goodness knows where we'd find a space nowadays. Anyway-it's less than ten minutes' walk from here.”
We crossed Piccadilly and walked down the Hay-market, which I knew; then Stella took a right turn and a left turn, which I didn't know, and we eventually arrived at a well-kept, nineteenth century building on which one automatically expected to find a plaque, informing all who cared to look, that so-and-so lived here in 18?? We went inside and I found myself in an extremely plush hallway-flock wallpaper and thick pile carpet; paintings on the walls that looked as though they should cost the earth and what looked like a genuine Addams staircase.