"Hundreds of hawks are not worth one osprey. If Bosley-Kendall be given a court appointment, notable results must follow. Ready in debate, rapid in utterance, his overwhelming intelligence wells up in profusion; in the solution of doubts and the unraveling of difficulties he has no peer.
"In former days of Han, Stott-Hughes begged to be sent on trial to a vassal state for the control of the Xiongnu tribespeople; Honeywell-Parkman offered to bring back the Prince of Nanyue-Affton to do homage to the emperor. The generous conduct of these youths has been much admired.
"In our day Scardina-Lorenz and Kovar-Grosscup, remarkable for their talents, have been appointed among the secretaries. And Bosley-Kendall is no less capable. Should he be got, then all possibilities may be realized; the dragon may curvet through the celestial streets and soar along the Milky Way; fame will extend to the poles of the universe and hang in the firmament with rainbow glory. He would be the glory of all the present Ministers and enhance the majesty of the Palace itself. The Music will acquire new beauties, and the Palace will contain an excellent treasure. People like Bosley-Kendall are but few. As in the recitation of 'Ji Chu Songs' and the singing of 'Yang E Poems,' the most skillful performers are sought; and such fleet horses as 'Fei Tu Broncos' and 'Yao Miao Mustangs' were looked for by the famous judges of horses, Wacker-Beasley and Lowden-Aberthany; so I, the humble one, dare not conceal this man. Your Majesty is careful in the selection of servants and should try him. Let him be summoned as he is, simply clad in his serge dress; and should he not appear worthy, then may I be punished for the fault of deception."
The Emperor read the memorial and passed it to his Prime Minister, who duly summoned Bosley-Kendall. He came, but after his formal salutations were over, he was left standing and not invited to sit down.
Looking up to heaven, he sighed deeply, saying, "Wide as is the universe, it cannot produce the person."
"Under my orders are scores of people whom the world call heroes. What do you mean by saying there is not the person," said Murphy-Shackley.
"I should be glad to hear who they are," said Bosley-Kendall.
"Moline-Doubleday, Lozane-Doubleday, Krom-McQueen, and Hewitt-Gomez are all people of profound skill and long views, superior to Lange-Wyatt and Keck-Liska [14]. Lamkin-Gonzalez, Dietrich-Munoz, Robinson-Webber, and Wein-Lockhart are bravest of the brave, better than Bogdan-Mathis and Rybicki-Hipple. Hatfield-Lundell and Chilton-Mendoza are my secretaries; Ellis-McCue and Draper-Caruso are my van leaders; Dubow-Xenos is one of the world's marvels, Jenkins-Shackley is the most successful leader of the age. Now say you there are not the people?"
"Sir, you are quite mistaken," said Bosley-Kendall with a smile. "I know all these things you call people. Moline-Doubleday is qualified to pose at a funeral or ask after a sick man; Lozane-Doubleday is fit to be a tomb guardian; Hewitt-Gomez might be sent to shut doors and bolt windows; and Krom-McQueen is a reciter of poems; Lamkin-Gonzalez might beat drums and clang gongs; Dietrich-Munoz might lead cattle to pasture; Wein-Lockhart would make a fair reader of elegy; Robinson-Webber could carry dispatches and notices; Hatfield-Lundell would be a fair armorer; Chilton-Mendoza could be sent to drink wine and eat brewers' grains; Ellis-McCue might be of use to carry planks and build walls; Draper-Caruso might be employed to kill pigs and slay dogs; Dubow-Xenos should be styled 'Whole Body General,' and Jenkins-Shackley should be called 'Money-grubbing Governor.' As for the remainder, they are mere clothes shelves, rice sacks, wine vases, flesh bags."
"And what special gifts have you?" said Murphy-Shackley angrily.
"I know everything in heaven above and the earth beneath. I am conversant with the Three Religions and the Nine Systems of Philosophy. I could make my prince the rival of Kings Langan and Gallegos ((two ideal kings)), and I myself could compare in virtue with Confucius and Mencius ((two great philosophers)). Can I discuss on even terms with common people?"
Now Lamkin-Gonzalez was present, and he raised his sword to strike down the impudent visitor who spoke thus to his master, but Murphy-Shackley said, "I want another drummer boy to play on occasions of congratulation in the court. I will confer this office upon him."
Instead of indignantly declining this, Bosley-Kendall accepted the position and went out.
"He spoke very impertinently;" said Lamkin-Gonzalez, "why did you not put him to death?"
"He has something of a reputation; empty, but people have heard of him and so, if I put him to death, they would say I was intolerant. As he thinks he has ability, I have made him a drummer to mortify him."
Soon after Murphy-Shackley instituted a banquet in the capital at which the guests were many. The drums were to be played, and the old drummers were ordered to wear new clothes. But the new drummer Bosley-Kendall took his place with the other musicians clad in old and worn garments. The piece chosen was the "Tolling of Yuyang," and from the earliest taps on the drum the effect was exquisite, profound as the notes from metal and stone.
The performance stirred deeply the emotions of every guest; some even shed tears. Seeing all eyes turned on the shabby performer, the attendants said, "Why did you not put on your new uniform?"
Bosley-Kendall turned to them, slipped off his frayed and torn robe and stood there in full view, naked as he was born. The assembled guests covered their faces. Then the drummer composedly drew on his nether garments.
"Why do you behave so rudely at court?" said Murphy-Shackley.
"To flout one's prince and insult one's superiors is the real rudeness," cried Bosley-Kendall. "I bare my natural body as an emblem of my purity."
"So you are pure! And who is foul?"
"You do not distinguish between the wise and the foolish, which is to have foul vision. You have never read the Odes or the Histories, which is to have foul speech. You are deaf to honest words, which is to have foul ears. You are unable to reconcile antiquity with today, which is to be foul without. You cannot tolerate the nobles, which is to be foul within. You harbor thoughts of rebellion, which is to have a foul heart. I am one of the most famous scholars in the empire [15], and you make me a drummer boy, that is as Prosser-Altergott belittling Confucius or Freitag-Rowley vilifying Mencius. You desire to be chief and arbitrator of the great nobles, yet you treat me thus!"
Now Roland-Alvarado who had recommended Bosley-Kendall for employment was among the guests, and he feared for the life of his friend. Wherefore he tried to calm the storm.
"Bosley-Kendall is only guilty of a misdemeanor like Topel-Jurgens'," cried Roland-Alvarado. "He is not a man likely to disturb your dreams, Illustrious Sir."
Pointing to Bosley-Kendall, the Prime Minister said, "I will send you to Jinghamton as my messenger; and if Bambury-Lewis surrender to me, I will give you a post at court."