Shared Paths to Health and Happiness
Really tall people purchase clothes that are sized as “extra long,” but few of us would buy extra long clothes in an effort to make ourselves grow taller. Sometimes it is very clear that there are underlying causes, such as genes and good nutrition, that lead to the association between two results. Yet in the health field, we constantly go astray in our understanding of what causes what.
One of our colleagues and friends is the distinguished researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky. Sonja is a leader in studying interventions that make people happier. One day, looking over the recommendations that Sonja and other happiness researchers make about improving and maintaining happiness, we were struck by an amazing correspondence and connection: many (but not all) of the recommendations for happiness are nearly identical to recommendations for maintaining health.
For example, those trying to improve their happiness are advised to do the following things:
• Watch less TV
• Improve social relations—spend time with friends
• Increase levels of physical activity—go for a long walk
• Help others and express gratitude to those who have helped you
• Take on new challenges to remain fresh and in-the-moment
These are all connected to health and long life, but we view them differently and would reframe the process: rather than recommending that you do each of these items, our research with the Terman participants suggests finding a lifestyle in which doing each of these things comes naturally. That is, these recommended activities are part of long-term patterns that characterize healthy and happy individuals. The healthy patterns and pathways come first, and they lead to both health and happiness.
What It Means for You: Guideposts to Health and Long Life
Let’s face it, if you hear advice to stop watching your favorite television shows, put away your snacks, and go out running, you are very unlikely to do it. If you are really motivated, you might try for a while but then soon enough fall back into your old habits. But if you are the kind of person who is really, really busy with friends, family, congregation, a sports league, a challenging career, travel, book clubs, and more, then you won’t have much time to sit, snack, and watch TV.
The same is true of an artificial attempt to express gratitude to your mentors. It works (at cheering you up) in the short term but then falls by the wayside, unless it strengthens social bonds. The Terman subjects who were very happy (and many were very happy) never received formal instruction about happiness. They did not live in a land of laugh therapy, self-esteem clinics, and indulgent parents.24 Instead, they traveled pathways of living that made them happy, healthy, (often) wealthy, and wise.
In fact, many knew that being happy is not the same as being healthy, and that worrying is sometimes a good thing. The Terman participants who lived long happy lives were not cynical rebels and loners. They were indeed accomplished individuals who were satisfied with their lives, but they did not pursue happiness. They were happy and laughed because they were healthy, wealthy, and wise—their happiness was a by-product of their pathways to long life. As we shall see, their particular types of social relations, careers, hobbies, and habits paved the true royal road to health.
So the reason that healthy people like Emma are happy but happy people are not necessarily healthy is that living a certain lifestyle puts you on the paths to long life that simultaneously make you happy and fulfilled; but cheering yourself up with short-term pleasures will usually do nothing remarkable for your health. Emma was not an especially cheery and optimistic child, but that didn’t interfere with her later health and happiness. If you find friends who laugh with you, then that is probably a healthy thing. If you find television shows that make you laugh all evening while you sit alone and eat, then that is not healthy. “Cheer up and live long” is much too simple—another dead-end myth.
If the same things that lead to happiness often lead to health, and the same things that improve health also boost happiness, then it should not be terribly surprising that happier folks are healthier or that tall folks wear extra long clothes. Sometimes, improving your health may improve your happiness. Sometimes, in facing very troubling times, happy people can cope well and maintain their health. But mostly, doing the right things will improve both your happiness and your health.
CHAPTER 5
Catastrophic Thinking
If an acorn drops on your head and you conclude that the sky is falling, psychologists might call you a “catastrophizer.” There is a pattern to how people explain or interpret bad events: catastrophizers see impending doom everywhere, while sunnier types are quick to see signs of fortune in their midst. If you are the former, you might really have something to fear: this pattern may be a forewarning of increased mortality risk.
We decided to explore how the Terman subjects viewed and explained the world when they were young adults, and specifically how their degree of catastrophizing might influence the length of their lives and the cause of their deaths.
Chicken Little Meets Content Analysis
Catastrophizing is expressed not so much in how people feel about events or how they respond, but in how they think about things that happen or may happen to them. The bad part is that catastrophizers—the Chicken Littles of the world who think the sky is falling—can bring trouble onto themselves. The good news is that catastrophizing involves your thoughts, and thoughts can be changed and improved.
For this part of the longevity project, we collaborated with Professors Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman, experts in explanatory style—how individuals explain the causes of bad happenings. For example, some people tend to blame themselves when something goes wrong, rather than putting the onus on someone else or on bad luck. Some individuals also see difficulties as more permanent or long lasting than is justified. They think, “This problem is going to last forever!”
Most important, some individuals overgeneralize the problem: instead of seeing it as limited and specific, they believe it is going to undermine everything they do. Their life is “a total mess.” These are the true catastrophizers—their pessimistic view of life sees every stumble as a calamity. Karen was like this. She was timid and had little self-confidence, even in childhood, and was described in grade school as extraordinarily sensitive to the disapproval of others. Her teacher noted that, when disciplined, she took it hard and seemed to have difficulty getting over the experience. At about that same time her mother reported that Karen had persistent fears of being kidnapped. In short, Karen’s perception of her life seemed to be that one bad thing would follow another.
When they were in their late twenties, the subjects wrote answers to Dr. Terman’s questions about their own flaws and about the bad events they had faced. In particular, they were asked about their most serious faults of personality or character to date. They were also asked to describe disappointments, failures, bereavements, and unfriendly relationships with others that had a prolonged influence on them. Some noted minor flaws of character, such as being too ambitious or too painstaking. Others, such as Karen, had gone through the divorce of their parents and lost all faith in the possibility of happy marriage. Some were harsh in their self-criticism: Karen vividly described her shyness and its effect on her life, something she saw as an insurmountable character flaw.
24
For a good relevant discussion of narcissism, see Jean M. Twenge,